Slow returning my confidence at work, I told them

Old 05-03-2015, 04:51 AM
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Slow returning my confidence at work, I told them


5 months in sober Im finding that im slowly regaining my confidence at work.

However I've chewed up all my leave and its been really slow to regain my confidence and a new foothold in my career.

I told my bosses at the time when I quit as I was really sick and needed a lot of time off. I regret that in a way as I passed in an opportunity fod promotion when I quit.

I just feel judged and like the freak a bit. I need to shake this, perhaps ill need to change jobs? Anyone relate?
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Old 05-03-2015, 05:36 AM
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First off congrats on 5 months Justin & i wouldnt leave just yet if they were willing to promote you once youl get another chance

Your confidence will come bk by leaving youl proberly make yourself anxious and think oh no what have i done ?

Give it a few months see what happens then
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Old 05-03-2015, 07:54 AM
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Hi mrjustin. I called in on a Sunday afternoon to work in 2012 and told my supervisor that I was an alcoholic and needed time off to go into treatment. I was drunk when I called or I don't know if I would go quite that route. Time off was arranged and I was out for a month.

When I returned, and I did return, I still had my job and was under a microscope. I kept plugging away, grateful I still had a job. It was hard to do that. Really hard. Some days I just felt like crying but I did it anyway. I didn't call in for anything. I didn't need to because I didn't have a hangover to nurse.

I did relapse during that time but still kept plugging away. I didn't call in during that time either. I got sober again and have a good long stretch going now.

In the meantime, things changed at work. Slowly, but they changed. I'm not any longer under the microscope. My supervisor has apparently either doesn't think about it any more or alcoholism doesn't resonate with her because for my birthday this past year she gave me a card with a martini glass on the front. After Christmas she gave everyone a souvenir shot glass from her trip and mine is sitting on my desk holding paper clips.

Stay sober, keep plugging. It was a good while before I didn't feel overly examined. You can do it.
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Old 05-03-2015, 08:36 AM
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Everyone goes through hard times.
Wouldn't life be great if none of our personal problems impacted on our career?
Or better still we had no personal problems and we just excelled at work, and our careers soared?

We know life is not like that.
That's not the real world.

You can reform, readjust and re-present ourselves as different, better people at work.
I have done it.
I had a poor reputation at work due to drink and personal factors.
I stopped drinking, got my head down, accepted my boss and colleagues needed time to trust me and worked my changes.

Although recently made redundant, I left with a good reputation, excellent reference, and my head held very high.

Don't stress the past.
Put your efforts into securing a great future with your work and career.
No better time to turn up at work in the UK after a boozy bank holiday and be fresh, sober and ready to work hard and be positive.

Go get em tiger!!! Xx
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Old 05-03-2015, 11:19 AM
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It takes time to get your dignity back. It's mostly due to a guilty conscience. At least, that's what I tell myself. Chances are, you are judging yourself harder than they are. Give it time and the more progress you make, the more confidence you'll have.
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Old 05-03-2015, 11:40 AM
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Please don't regret telling them at work - that may well have helped you to clock up 5 sober months (which is brilliant, by the way)

I agree with Yankee, you could be judging yourself too harshly and imagining that others are doing the same.

I know it's tough to miss out on a promotion, but being promoted before you're ready can be a nightmare. Now that you're sober - and have proved to others that you're sober too - you're in a much better position to grab any opportunities that come along.

And if others are looking at you strangely, maybe it's respect that you're seeing? Or jealousy, perhaps, because you're proving that you have the ability to identify a problem and deal with it

As Sasha says in her lovely post, go get 'em, Tiger!!
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Old 05-03-2015, 12:20 PM
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5 Months is fantastic!!
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Old 05-03-2015, 03:24 PM
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I think the advice here is gold Justin

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Old 05-03-2015, 03:31 PM
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Back in the day I had built myself a very bad reputation as a dumb, lazy bimbo. But one day I was inspired to change: to do the right thing just for the sake of doing the right thing. I eliminated coffee breaks and busted my butt. I studied hard and delivered on every word I said. Minds didn't change immediately, and many were extremely suspicious; but within a few months people started realizing that they could actually depend on me. I was on track for a promotion--but alas, I quit when I had a baby.

I'm sure you'll earn your respect back if you humbly keep your nose to the grindstone. Be patient and give them time to acclimate.
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Old 05-04-2015, 01:42 AM
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Yoy guys are the best, I needed to hear this so bad ! Thanks
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Old 05-04-2015, 01:54 AM
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Way to go Mr Justin
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Old 05-04-2015, 01:56 AM
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Justin, great job on the five months. That's huge. Now that you're a non drinker their memories of all that will fade and disappear. Just prove 'em right!
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