everything was great but i gave in an drank...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 68
everything was great but i gave in an drank...
Hi guys havnt posted in a while. Ive been so busy with starting my new job which i love and i am so happy.
Then bang id been 2 weeks sober and because i finally got my life back i thought it wouldn't hurt to just have one to celebrate but boy was i wrong i couldn't just have the one it was like as soon as i drank it that was it i wanted more
i feel so guilty like ive let everyone down i thought now i got rid of the eating disorder id be okay with drink but actually its so much harder than i thought....i just feel so down because now my parents are angry and disappointed. But i just had to do it and find out and low i have tried i no 100% sobriety needs to be my life now.
so annoyed and down :'(
Then bang id been 2 weeks sober and because i finally got my life back i thought it wouldn't hurt to just have one to celebrate but boy was i wrong i couldn't just have the one it was like as soon as i drank it that was it i wanted more
i feel so guilty like ive let everyone down i thought now i got rid of the eating disorder id be okay with drink but actually its so much harder than i thought....i just feel so down because now my parents are angry and disappointed. But i just had to do it and find out and low i have tried i no 100% sobriety needs to be my life now.
so annoyed and down :'(
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
For me accepting that I was parting ways with alcohol on a permanent basis was the foundation of everything, and life after that took a turn for the better!!
Don't beat yourself up, we can't change the past, we can only write the future, tweak your plan and go from there, make Sobriety happen!!
Don't beat yourself up, we can't change the past, we can only write the future, tweak your plan and go from there, make Sobriety happen!!
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome back mjane. Well, now you have undeniable proof than "just one" is not possible for us. Don't dwell on it, learn from it and move forward.
Do you have any ideas what you might do differently or add to your plan so it doesn't happen again?
Do you have any ideas what you might do differently or add to your plan so it doesn't happen again?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 68
Thank you purple knight.
well i think i done the worst thing i went on a date thinking i would be okay but stupidly i ordered a glass of wine, i no my full intention was to do that. But i think in going to change my plan now where i just work all week and just come straight home, at first i thought this was going to be easy because i was so happy but its like it hits me out of no where and even i dont see it coming.
basically work all week and id already promised myself to not let alcohol effect my work but id twisted it in my head that i could just drink weekends... I was so wrong. So i think to change my plan instead of using the money i would by alcohol with im going to buy myself something nice instead and just save money...
in a way in glad i did try it to see because it was playing on my mind and now i have i no its a no go area. I just feel ashamed i was doing so well and actually happier being sober i don't understand why i did it i thought i was stronger then that...
well i think i done the worst thing i went on a date thinking i would be okay but stupidly i ordered a glass of wine, i no my full intention was to do that. But i think in going to change my plan now where i just work all week and just come straight home, at first i thought this was going to be easy because i was so happy but its like it hits me out of no where and even i dont see it coming.
basically work all week and id already promised myself to not let alcohol effect my work but id twisted it in my head that i could just drink weekends... I was so wrong. So i think to change my plan instead of using the money i would by alcohol with im going to buy myself something nice instead and just save money...
in a way in glad i did try it to see because it was playing on my mind and now i have i no its a no go area. I just feel ashamed i was doing so well and actually happier being sober i don't understand why i did it
i thought i was stronger then that...
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
I'd try and look at it this way - at least now you know there's no such thing as just one?
and maybe lay of the dating, just for a little while, until you secure your recovery?
welcome back Mjane
and maybe lay of the dating, just for a little while, until you secure your recovery?
welcome back Mjane
saoutchik
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: London
Posts: 16,200
No need to be ashamed Mjane as the only person you have hurt is yourself. I expect most people consider the "just one" option from time to time (I know I have). Unfortunately the overwhelming evidence, on this site at least, is that we can't go back to the "just one" scenario.
On top of that you were probably feeling better and the memory of hangovers etc seem further removed.
You seem to have really taken the bull by the horns this time Mjane. Congratulations on 6 days
On top of that you were probably feeling better and the memory of hangovers etc seem further removed.
You seem to have really taken the bull by the horns this time Mjane. Congratulations on 6 days
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
So glad you made it back so quickly.
My friend at AA did pretty much exactly the same as you at about 5 months sobriety. At the time she felt guilty; ashamed; angry with herself; etc. Now, seven months later she says that she's glad it happened as it really reinforced it to her that she CANNOT have one drink. She IS and alcoholic. And she has no intention of letting this disease take away all the things she's worked to get back. (Respect for herself; positive relationship with her ex; her health; her ability to be a wonderful mum to her two children; etc.) It was a huge and scary lesson, but one that she has chosen to reinforce her future sobriety.
Wishing you all the best for your future sobriety - it sounds like you're in a good frame of mind to get back to it right now.
My friend at AA did pretty much exactly the same as you at about 5 months sobriety. At the time she felt guilty; ashamed; angry with herself; etc. Now, seven months later she says that she's glad it happened as it really reinforced it to her that she CANNOT have one drink. She IS and alcoholic. And she has no intention of letting this disease take away all the things she's worked to get back. (Respect for herself; positive relationship with her ex; her health; her ability to be a wonderful mum to her two children; etc.) It was a huge and scary lesson, but one that she has chosen to reinforce her future sobriety.
Wishing you all the best for your future sobriety - it sounds like you're in a good frame of mind to get back to it right now.
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