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Old 04-30-2015, 09:35 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Feed your head
 
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In this together
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Old 04-30-2015, 10:22 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Ok. I'm
Mad. I'mad at myself. Im mad that I let so many people Down. I did it. No one else did. I think I wanted company. I'm so mad at myself. How did I do this. A kid of a drunk. I hated him. Why did I repeat it? I'm making my kids the same. I am loathing myself.
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Old 04-30-2015, 10:26 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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(((Lori)))
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Old 04-30-2015, 10:44 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
voices ca**y
 
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You are awesome Lori. You are breaking the cycle and that's not easy.
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Old 04-30-2015, 10:46 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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We are all here for you Lori, let us know what you need.
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Old 04-30-2015, 10:48 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Hears The Voice
 
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Originally Posted by ESD907 View Post
I am loathing myself.
You are loathing who you were. I think we have all been there. I have been.

That was then. Now you are here with us, battling an indentity-robbing addiction. That is no small, mean thing.

Regret is time and energy wasted. Channel that into something more useful. Become something better. Become someone you are proud of.
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Old 04-30-2015, 11:04 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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I am on day 4 and I can relate with the anger. I think it is normal to be angry and hopefully you won't have to hide that here. I put alcohol before EVERYTHING in my life. I let myself and others down so much..It is so very painful to face. I think that that might be one of the hardest things about getting sober..facing all of the ******** and havoc that we have caused. Thank you for posting..I am in pain too but I'm going to trudge through..minute by minute if that's what it takes to find a new way of life
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Old 04-30-2015, 11:43 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Rigorous honesty is essential to sobriety even if it sounds weak. You're hurting right now and, truthfully, that's a good thing. What you're feeling awfult about right now means you have a conscience and care about others. You're doing great and this too shall pass as you hang in there moving forward one-step/day-at-a-time. This is a great place, with people who get it, to let it all out. (Hugs)
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Old 04-30-2015, 02:51 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Thank u all for being kind. I don't deserve it
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Old 04-30-2015, 02:56 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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You are no better and no worse than anybody else.

I have heard a term used for addicts that I think is pretty apt: "extraordinary worms."

In our way we think we are above the rest of the universe--extraordinary--yet the worst and most pathetic person that has ever been born--worm.

We are neither: we are just fellow humans with a particular problem.
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Old 04-30-2015, 02:59 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Gilmer Thanks. I have no friends. I'm so alone. U don't realize how nice it was that a few of u remembered my name. It was so heartening. Thank u.
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Old 04-30-2015, 03:04 PM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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Old 04-30-2015, 03:17 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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I'm trying to use my anger/shame/hurt as a motivator to not let it happen anymore.

It's much harder than letting those same things be the reason I continue drinking, but I don't want to add anything else to the list of terrible things I've done and people I've let down, and I've finally hit the point where it's enough for me to stop.

As with everything, easier said than done, but there's plenty of successful people on this forum to prove that it CAN get better.
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Old 04-30-2015, 03:20 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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Site m u tho I u hit nail I head. I have many issues. But most are in my own being.
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Old 04-30-2015, 03:20 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ESD907 View Post
Thank u all for being kind. I don't deserve it
Yes you do deserve kindness. Your human just like the rest of us.
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Old 04-30-2015, 03:39 PM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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No. I'm judgemtal. I think I'm better than others. So no

I'm coming down a few
Now. I'm not
a complete
Moron.
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Old 04-30-2015, 04:26 PM
  # 37 (permalink)  
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I don't think there's anyone here who can cast the first stone Lori, y'know?

You deserve as much kindness and understanding as anyone else here

D
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Old 04-30-2015, 06:39 PM
  # 38 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by ESD907 View Post
I think I'm getting angry. Because I should've seen this coming. Why did I allow this.
OK ESD, so you are the navy seal of alcoholism, awesome. Good for you. The rest of us are just trying to survive and improve. We all have our methods and techniques to save our own a$$. I wish you the very best. One size does not fit all when it comes to substance abuse.
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Old 04-30-2015, 07:00 PM
  # 39 (permalink)  
Learning to live again
 
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I would like to send you some love Lori. Your SR family cares about you.
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