Personal responsibility.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Florida
Posts: 554
Ok. I'm
Mad. I'mad at myself. Im mad that I let so many people Down. I did it. No one else did. I think I wanted company. I'm so mad at myself. How did I do this. A kid of a drunk. I hated him. Why did I repeat it? I'm making my kids the same. I am loathing myself.
Mad. I'mad at myself. Im mad that I let so many people Down. I did it. No one else did. I think I wanted company. I'm so mad at myself. How did I do this. A kid of a drunk. I hated him. Why did I repeat it? I'm making my kids the same. I am loathing myself.
Hears The Voice
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Unshackled
Posts: 7,901
Originally Posted by ESD907 
I am loathing myself.
That was then. Now you are here with us, battling an indentity-robbing addiction. That is no small, mean thing.
Regret is time and energy wasted. Channel that into something more useful. Become something better. Become someone you are proud of.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Kooskia, Idaho
Posts: 406
I am on day 4 and I can relate with the anger. I think it is normal to be angry and hopefully you won't have to hide that here. I put alcohol before EVERYTHING in my life. I let myself and others down so much..It is so very painful to face. I think that that might be one of the hardest things about getting sober..facing all of the ******** and havoc that we have caused. Thank you for posting..I am in pain too but I'm going to trudge through..minute by minute if that's what it takes to find a new way of life
Sober Alcoholic
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: northern AZ
Posts: 796
Rigorous honesty is essential to sobriety even if it sounds weak. You're hurting right now and, truthfully, that's a good thing. What you're feeling awfult about right now means you have a conscience and care about others. You're doing great and this too shall pass as you hang in there moving forward one-step/day-at-a-time. This is a great place, with people who get it, to let it all out. (Hugs)
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
You are no better and no worse than anybody else. 
I have heard a term used for addicts that I think is pretty apt: "extraordinary worms."
In our way we think we are above the rest of the universe--extraordinary--yet the worst and most pathetic person that has ever been born--worm.
We are neither: we are just fellow humans with a particular problem.
I have heard a term used for addicts that I think is pretty apt: "extraordinary worms."
In our way we think we are above the rest of the universe--extraordinary--yet the worst and most pathetic person that has ever been born--worm.
We are neither: we are just fellow humans with a particular problem.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,914
I'm trying to use my anger/shame/hurt as a motivator to not let it happen anymore.
It's much harder than letting those same things be the reason I continue drinking, but I don't want to add anything else to the list of terrible things I've done and people I've let down, and I've finally hit the point where it's enough for me to stop.
As with everything, easier said than done, but there's plenty of successful people on this forum to prove that it CAN get better.
It's much harder than letting those same things be the reason I continue drinking, but I don't want to add anything else to the list of terrible things I've done and people I've let down, and I've finally hit the point where it's enough for me to stop.
As with everything, easier said than done, but there's plenty of successful people on this forum to prove that it CAN get better.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by ESD907
I think I'm getting angry. Because I should've seen this coming. Why did I allow this.
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