SoberRunner

Am I just not ready for sobriety? I want to live a sober life but after a few days of not drinking, my reasons for wanting to live a sober life tend to disappear.

For example, my drinking has gone waaayyy down since I've been on this site. When I do drink, the urge to drink a lot has disappeared. For example, last night I only had 2 glasses of wine--not in wine glasses because I trashed those--and I poured the rest down the sink.

Is this normal or am I doing something wrong because I can't stop drinking 100%, forever? I want to not even want 1 or 2 glasses of wine...

LBrain

progress not perfection...

keep doing your best, you will find the answer you are looking for.
I just hope you do not spiral out of control one day.

SoberRunner

Me too. I will start Day 1, again... Hopefully I at least can make it to Day 7!

Altoids

Totally agree with LBrain. Progress, not perfection is how we all do it. It took me quite a few starts and stops before it finally gelled into a sober life. Keep walking the walk the best you can.

ScottFromWI

It is normal for an alcoholic. It's also normal for the idea of stopping "forever" to seem daunting, which is why many don't even think about that at first. "One day at a time" as they say.

You ask if you are doing something wrong...what are you actually doing to maintain your sobriety? Most people need some kind of formal plan. AA is a plan. Detox and Rehab ( inpatient or outpatient ) is a plan. Seeing an additions counselor is a plan. Discussing your drinking with a doctor or a pastor is a plan. Using self help methods like SR itself or AVRT is a plan. Reading self help books on addiction is a plan. Seeing a counselor/therapist to see if you have underlying psychological issues that might make you more prone to addiction is a plan.

Just like anything good in life, sobriety is hard work. And as you have noticed, drinking gives you no pleasure anymore anyway....it's a burden. There is absolutely no reason you cannot quit unless you choose not to.

anattaboy

Not drinking is also a plan. You'd be surprised how much of one's day is freed up when abstinence is one's absolute (not like choosing dessert or socks).

least

For me to stay sober, I had to want to be sober more than I wanted to drink. Once I got to that point, I was able to stay sober.

TNTStill

I feel you. I use to feel like I wasn't ready for sobriety. Days or weeks would go by without drinking and then I feel like "I'm good to drink, if I held out this long I should be able to drink normally"

Now, this is maybe just me, but the longer I go without the drink the harder I end up drinking when I give to having some. That initial buzz is the hook for me.

What I'm realizing as I'm working on remaining sober is that I personally can't continue the zigzag cycle. I just ***** me up physically, mentally, all that. I'm not making any "I'm never gonna drink claims" certain. I can't do that right now. I have to work on making my future of not drink just span the course of this day.

It may be people that get annoyed with the day at a time phrase. I know I use to. But truth be told I would lose my mind kinda if i thought about a longer time frame than that at this stage for me.

Soberwolf

Know that you can do this

sva777

I had many attempts at sobriety before it really stuck. I would have a bunch of drinks and then go 5-9 days or so clean before my AV started kicking in saying why not have a few. Eventually I wanted to quit more than I wanted to drink because I hated the misery which would follow an awful binge.

It is true, you will now have free time where you used to either be drunk/drinking/hungover. I look back and don't know how I got anything done before.

ClearMind

Exactly, OP. Progress, not perfection. Rome wasn't built in a day, right? As long as you are moving towards a more positive situation, that's what truly matters.

Para

I hear you when you say your reasons for staying sober start to disappear.
Although I haven't picked up in 6 days, It's like i'm starting to forget the turmoil and angst I was in only 6 days ago. Why does our alcoholic minds start forgetting so easily!!??
What helps me is I go to the posts where I wrote and I was in total despair the morning after drinking.
Progress not Perfection!!

SoberRunner

Progress, not perfection... Got it!
Many thanks to those of you who posted on this thread!

PurpleKnight

For me I wanted to drink, because I was addicted, the idea of never craving alcohol ever again wasn't going to happen over night, it was going to take time!!

Craving and thoughts don't cause hangovers, they are not actions, so there's no harm in them, but recognising the why for me made things a bit easier, it was only natural my body was going to crave what it couldn't have!!

Hang in there!!

Hevyn

Hi SoberRunner. I'm really glad you posted about your feelings - that's what we're all here for.

I was very frustrated in the early days too. I knew I couldn't go back to where I was, so I kept going - but I was far from happy. After awhile I stopped feeling like I was missing out on life - the resentment eased up. I began to enjoy being clearheaded and on top of things rather than numb and oblivious. Be patient and kind to yourself - you can do this. It will get easier.

Dee74

Look at what you're doing for your recovery and what your recovery plan is.

Write it down even.
Then think about what you need to add to it.

You're pulling away from Planet Addiction - you just need a little more thrust to achieve escape velocity

D

SoberRunner

Hi All, I just wanted to share an update...

So, quite a few of you guys have suggested I make a sober plan so I made one last night because I didn't want to continue the endless cycle of waking up with a hangover on Saturday. (I woke up hangover free last weekend because I had a 5K race... In the past, race weekends tend to be the only weekends I don't drink.)

On Friday, my trigger time is around 6pm or 7pm... I usually cook dinner, have a couple of glasses of wine, then end up getting a text from a few bar friends inviting me out for drinks. Last night, it was around 7pm and I decided to make myself do something different... I've always wanted to work on my inner artist and something was telling me to go to Michael's and get some art materials. At first I thought, nah, I'll just stay home and I'll go Sat morning; besides, no one has asked me to go to the bar so "I'm not going out tonight." (We've all said that before!)

Well, I decided to go to Michael's (anyway) and got home around 9pm, posted a sob story on SR lol, then went to sleep so I could wake up early, have coffee, and start my art project.

I woke up this morning with a text from some bar friends (at 10pm) inviting me to a bar/dance club. Phew!! I'm glad I tried my new sober plan, because if I didn't go to Michael's, I would have been awake when she texted and I'm 98% sure I would have gone out--esp with the mood I was in--and drank the night away (with them) until 2am.

Time to unleash my inner artist...

SoberRunner

Oh yeah, I forgot many may not know what Michaels is because it's only in the US... It's an arts and crafts store: http://www.michaels.com

Anyone who loves arts and crafts can spend hours there!

buk1000

Runner, have you not told your bar friends that you no longer drink? Is there a reason that you don't want to take that step?

Congratulations on the plan, it seems to be serving you well. But it sounds like you might need to lose your phone on the weekend or come to an understanding with your friends or that scene will play out repeatedly.

Cauliflower

Right on!! I feel, that once I made the decision to quit drinking, to never have that first drink, it be a me easier for me. The inner arguments with myself all but disappeared. I also noticed life unfolded daily with ease. It's like the universe cleared the path for me, steering me away from temptation. I don't believe in coincidence, I believe that everything happens for a reason!