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Is anyone a bit tired of the preachy types?!

Old 04-15-2015, 10:59 PM
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Is anyone a bit tired of the preachy types?!

I have a degree in English literature and religious studies. Am agnostic after years of learned information. But I cannot get on with the 12 steps. Each to their own and I KNOW they work for many as the statistics show. But In my life there is no Higher Being per se, so I can't live by the Fellowship's teachings. Will just have to carry on with group work which is free through the government in the UK. Your input would be gratefully received.
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Old 04-15-2015, 11:04 PM
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If you've decided AA's not for you, that's your choice st.

Have you explored other secular options like SMART or lifering?

D
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Old 04-15-2015, 11:09 PM
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Just a pre-emptive reminder, especially for those new to the forum

Please Read! The Newcomers Forum is a safe and welcoming place for newcomers. Respect is essential. Debates over Recovery Methods are not allowed on the Newcomer's Forum. Posts that violate this rule will be removed without notice. (Support and experience only please.)
Let's keep discussion mutually respectful

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Old 04-15-2015, 11:19 PM
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This site is full of people genuinely trying to help and be helped and I, like you too, am agnostic, or rather I simply don't know but let's say I have major misgivings about the main three monotheisms.

I take their prayers with the good intentions they were offered and if it helps them then fine. I have to admit I do sometimes feel bad either pressing or not pressing the thank you button of a religious post that come from a good place but which I simply don't believe in.

This is a touchy subject and I hope I haven't offended anyone as I tiptoe around in my post.
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Old 04-15-2015, 11:31 PM
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You will find preachy types in all kinds of recovery programs. I am not really religious myself and I do go to AA meetings. I don't really find it religious, but that is just me. Yes some people do talk about God and so forth as their higher power, but as far as I am concerned they are just sharing what works for them.

I do a wide variety of different programs, AA, WFS and some SMART. If I can even find one thing in a program that benefits me then it's all good.

There are tons of programs out there that are great, it is just a matter of finding one or even more that benefit you .
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Old 04-16-2015, 12:27 AM
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I'm agnostic on a good day! I'm an atheist if the truth be told. But luckily I don't need a deity to keep me from drinking. AVRT works for me, do a search for it.

Welcome to SR! I'm glad you found us here.
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Old 04-16-2015, 01:15 AM
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Response

Thank you to those who have responded. I am an extremely respectful person, Dee, and mentioned that I completely appreciate that AA works for so many people out there; my intention was never to take anything away from the Fellowship or anyone it works for...but I was reaching out to see if anyone has tried or is trying something different. I've been to a couple of SMART meetings but sadly there is an obnoxious man who goes to my local meeting and always gets a lot of airtime as the facilitator is a bit intimidated to say anything.
I will most certainly find out about AVRT, (thank you very much), and have lots of information about Lifering from the last assessment meeting. I think it is a bit scarce in the UK though.
Whilst I completely appreciate this is a newcomers forum, it may be that AA doesn't work for them so let us have the opportunity to discuss these issues please, while being completely respectful, as I have been here.
Thank you.
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Old 04-16-2015, 01:19 AM
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The threads not closed - you have the opportunity
I appreciate you feel you were expressing a genuine feeling sturner - like I said my post was pre-emptive, rather than reactive

D
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Old 04-16-2015, 01:22 AM
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I see what the rules and regs...

Say about people's personal recoveries so I apologise if I have stepped outside these boundaries but I am trying to help, and be helped. I've had four major physical detoxes and the assessment people have put me back into the controlled drinking group. It's not going to work as I have major physical withdrawals so am reaching out and having been on this site for a while in the chat room, I find other people's experiences and advice amazing.
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Old 04-16-2015, 01:28 AM
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I do both! The group work through my community addiction centre and go to AA.

I'm in the UK too and I'm not religious. I read widely about different techniques that have worked for people and that's how I'm kind of building up a group of supportive new friends.

I actually just picked up a book called The 12 Step Buddhist by Darren Littlejohn. I'm not Buddhist but I'm really enjoying it!
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Old 04-16-2015, 01:31 AM
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I take no offence at all with people who have different beliefs. Personally I don't think that I could have ever decided to believe anything. I'm at a loss how people might be able to decide to believe... anything. IMO, belief is not a decision based process. It's an experience and information based process. My beliefs are a result of my experience and the different things that I have decided to investigate.

If people with beliefs that are quite different than yours make you uncomfortable then seek a method that is more congruent with how you see things. I think it's best to be true to yourself.
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Old 04-16-2015, 01:35 AM
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Thank you Jane...one of my dissertations was on Buddhism so I will find and read this book with great interest! Thanks again x
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Old 04-16-2015, 02:01 AM
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.....the way I put it is that I have not received the gift of faith.
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Old 04-16-2015, 02:03 AM
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I often think that step two, "Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity" is the point where we can accept or reject the AA spiritual solution. If one was not even willing to believe, then the mind is closed to the possibility of experiencing such a power working for us and there wouldnt be any point in pursuing the AA solution.

One can just as easily come to believe any number of other things will solve the problem. One such belief could be "that I have sufficient power to keep myself sober in all circumstances." Though a delusion for me, this would be realistic for many problem drinkers.
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Old 04-16-2015, 02:52 AM
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Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 04-16-2015, 03:13 AM
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Hi, Sturner.

I can relate to what you are saying.

I quit drinking without AA or 12 steps, but recently decided to join another 12-steps fellowship, and immediately stumbled upon religious aspects of this.

This site helped me a lot to start putting together 12 steps and my atheist point of view.There are various types of alternative 12 steps which have been practiced since 1975.

AA Agnostica

Best wishes to you.
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Old 04-16-2015, 04:00 AM
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I don't go to AA, my faith in God is unshakeable. Whilst I understand that there are those who don't believe, what I can't understand is why folks who don't, take issue or are surprised by those who do. I saw you clarify that basically to each their own. But your header also starts with "tired with the preachy types." Choice for folks is pretty simple - do what works for you. If you don't believe, just ignore. The site even let's you systemically ignore the "preachy types." But why you feel a need to discuss what they believe to be helpful in an antagonistic way is beyond me.

Again: there is a paradox between: each to their own and tired of preachy types.
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Old 04-16-2015, 04:16 AM
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I believe that the key to long term sobriety is to change how we perceive ourselves and the world around us. Call that a "spiritual awakening" if you wish, but change is necessary. However, I do not believe that spiritual growth is contingent on adherance to the western protestant principles that AA is based on. As I recall, a great man experienced a spiritual change by merely meditating under the Bodhi tree.
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Old 04-16-2015, 04:55 AM
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I'm interested in learning about the non-AA group work that they have in the UK. What are those meetings like?
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Old 04-16-2015, 04:59 AM
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Hi.
I’ve believed in a “Higher Power” Long before joining the fellowship many years ago. For my own reasons I didn’t/don’t believe in that religious concept of a God with flowing robes casting lightning bolts around.

As stated above I don’t care what ones belief is, I feel mine works for me by my belief that I’m not a higher power as a lot of alcoholics think they are.

The fellowship has for about 80 years helped many millions with all our beliefs if we set aside the spiritual concept that has so many tied up in a knot.

My main concern is that with any concept that is chosen that it’s teachings are constantly followed for long lasting recovery, with face to face meetings this can more easily happen as opposed to being at the end of a wire. I say this for many reasons accumulated over the years.

BE WELL
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