CanILive

So i have 6 & a half months clean. This is the longest ive ever been clean but im having a real hard time surrendering to the program. Im not doing any work, working any steps and I dont have a sponser. All I do is attend meetings. & I justify it because I stayed clean over 6 months doing everything they told me not do.. Only thing i did right was not get high.

But I know I could be doing & feeling much better if I did some work.

I just struggle so much with asking for help.. And opening up to people. I never share in meetings..

Im clean & thats all I am. Im clean and miserable.

For a while I was fine but ive been having cravings & thoughts of getting high lately for the first time since i got clean and its really starting to scare me.. And i could use some support right now.

Dee74

Hi Can plenty of support here

Reaching out for help was hard for me too but I eventually realised it's not only good for me it's good for other people too - and then we each pass it on to someone else.

Think about it
Open up to someone at your next meeting?

D

Gottalife

It is always darkest before the dawn. I ave often heard people talk about being in a spot like this, feeling really hopeless, maybe a sober rock bottom, and then something happens that changes their whole outlook. They become a different person, get stuck in to the steps and working with others and their lives change. They begin to get rewards from their involvement in AA.

AA is funny like that. They say of most things that you get out what you put in. In my expereince in AA I get out about 10 times what I put in, it'sl ike a benevolent slot machine, put a dollar in get $10 out. My guess is it works in reverse with negative sums. When I went to AA just to take, I really got nothing at all, I just felt worse.

A lot of people give up on AA because they feel they arent getting anything out of it. The question is why arent they getting anything out of it?

IOAA2

I keep thinking of words like work, action and application. Not many say it’s easy but it is rewarding to the degree money can’t buy. The big words are IF WE WANT IT. Perhaps add to that “and are willing to go to any length to acquire it.”

BE WELL

strategery

Start thinking about the aspects of sobriety that you enjoy. Think about the negatives that come with using and why you quit. Keep hanging in there and remember they are just thoughts. You don't have to act on those thoughts.

doggonecarl

Glad you are posting during your struggle, not after the relapse.

BINGO!

Recovery should be more than white knuckling it through the day. You already recognize the problem and know the solution. Do it. Are you hoping we'll talk you into it?

Soberwolf

Welcome can i live

RDBplus3

Can I Live???
Could I stay in a state of mind the same as it was when my Life had gotten REALLY BAD, and drinking was making it a real Hell, and continue to just - not drink and go to meetings?

For me, Hell No I couldn't do it...and now my life has been MIRACULOUSLY RENEWED thru working the 12 Steps Program...

RDBplus3...Happy, Joyous, and FREE....and I KNOW you can be 2...Get to Work and ACTUALLY WORK THE STEPS....I Can Live!