It is always darkest before the dawn. I ave often heard people talk about being in a spot like this, feeling really hopeless, maybe a sober rock bottom, and then something happens that changes their whole outlook. They become a different person, get stuck in to the steps and working with others and their lives change. They begin to get rewards from their involvement in AA.
AA is funny like that. They say of most things that you get out what you put in. In my expereince in AA I get out about 10 times what I put in, it'sl ike a benevolent slot machine, put a dollar in get $10 out. My guess is it works in reverse with negative sums. When I went to AA just to take, I really got nothing at all, I just felt worse.
A lot of people give up on AA because they feel they arent getting anything out of it. The question is why arent they getting anything out of it?