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Small victory? Maybe?

Old 04-12-2015, 09:18 AM
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Small victory? Maybe?

Hey everyone! I have gotten myself down to drinking only on Friday and/or Saturday nights. I know that's still not sobriety but I've come from realistically drinking up to 5 times a week excessively. Most weeks now I get drunk on Friday and keep myself busy enough to make it to Friday next week without a sip. I am kind of stuck here now and don't know how to finally kick this thing in the butt once and for all. I have found that slowly cutting back days has been a great approach to slowly quitting but I'm worried I'm only doing this because I know I still have a drink waiting for me. Complete abstinence has been a huge failure for me. But convincing myself that once a week is ok has kind of gotten the binge drinking 3-5 days a week problem under control. Now I just gotta stop binging once a week and abstinent!! So hard to do though Is this "style" of quitting sensible? In my eyes I've done a great job slowing down and cutting days off however I'm still drunk once or twice a week
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Old 04-12-2015, 09:34 AM
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Hi, Scared.

I don't mean to rain on your progress of slowing down and cutting days, but based in my experience it's a road to nowhere. Nowhere in sobriety.

I used to to this. Even was abstinent for 90 days to prove myself I could go without alcohol. But once I decided I was ok, my old patterns returned in no time.

If you can't drink in moderation and looking forward to having your "I deserve this day of drinking" reward, it won't set you free from addiction.

Why do you think quitting for good was a failure? What did you miss in your previous attempt? Was it that word "NEVER" that scared you a lot? If so, you are so not alone in this. And, believe, there's nothing to be afraid of.

And, yes, the best day to do this is today. No kidding.

Best wishes to you.
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Old 04-12-2015, 09:41 AM
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Originally Posted by MidnightBlue View Post
Hi, Scared.

I don't mean to rain on your progress of slowing down and cutting days, but based in my experience it's a road to nowhere. Nowhere in sobriety.

I used to to this. Even was abstinent for 90 days to prove myself I could go without alcohol. But once I decided I was ok, my old patterns returned in no time.

If you can't drink in moderation and looking forward to having your "I deserve this day of drinking" reward, it won't set you free from addiction.

Why do you think quitting for good was a failure? What did you miss in your previous attempt? Was it that word "NEVER" that scared you a lot? If so, you are so not alone in this. And, believe, there's nothing to be afraid of.

And, yes, the best day to do this is today. No kidding.

Best wishes to you.
Midnight - I can so relate. I have stopped in the past and been abstinent. But once I think i'm ok, and go back to the drink, it's like I was never abstinent.
This disease is doing push-ups even while you're not drinking, so even if you don't drink, and then start, it's going to take you right where you left off but worse. It has been a very hard lesson for me to learn.
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Old 04-12-2015, 10:15 AM
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It is hard but very very possible i never thought i could get sober but here i am a week shy of 21 months

keep trying for abstinence
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Old 04-12-2015, 10:21 AM
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If you want to quit, then nothing but abstinence is sensible. Not drinking is the only absolute in sobriety; you either do or you do not.
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Old 04-12-2015, 10:21 AM
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Originally Posted by Scared1234 View Post
Hey everyone! I have gotten myself down to drinking only on Friday and/or Saturday nights. I know that's still not sobriety but I've come from realistically drinking up to 5 times a week excessively. Most weeks now I get drunk on Friday and keep myself busy enough to make it to Friday next week without a sip. I am kind of stuck here now and don't know how to finally kick this thing in the butt once and for all. I have found that slowly cutting back days has been a great approach to slowly quitting but I'm worried I'm only doing this because I know I still have a drink waiting for me. Complete abstinence has been a huge failure for me. But convincing myself that once a week is ok has kind of gotten the binge drinking 3-5 days a week problem under control. Now I just gotta stop binging once a week and abstinent!! So hard to do though Is this "style" of quitting sensible? In my eyes I've done a great job slowing down and cutting days off however I'm still drunk once or twice a week
Hey scared,

What is scaring you about quitting? Are you scared of the withdrawal symptoms? Are you scared of losing a crutch? Are you scared of losing your buddies? Are you scared that you won't fit in being sober?

The list is endless mate.
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Old 04-12-2015, 10:27 AM
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Originally Posted by Scared1234 View Post
Is this "style" of quitting sensible? In my eyes I've done a great job slowing down and cutting days off however I'm still drunk once or twice a week
I'm afraid all you are describing is a new "style" of drinking, not quitting. If you continue, how long before it starts creeping up to twice a week, then three times?

Time to quit splashing around in the shallow end and dive into the deep end of the pool of sobriety.
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Old 04-12-2015, 10:36 AM
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Can't say I'd recommend your approach to a newcomer, but it's done. Now finish what you've started. You've proven you don't need alcohol Sun-Thur. Nothing special about Friday or Saturday.

Drop those crutches and walk down the road to freedom.
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Old 04-12-2015, 10:37 AM
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I've done that, but I was just fooling myself into thinking I had it managed and under control.....
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Old 04-12-2015, 10:44 AM
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You are making an improvement, but considering your goal is to be abstinent, you should be concerned. This suggests you need more help and need to make more changes, not changing your idea of what constitutes success is in terms of your drinking.
Like what doggonecarl was saying, if you keep on moving your goal as to what constitutes success in terms of your drinking, what is going to keep you from redefining this goal every time your drinking keeps ticking up?
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Old 04-12-2015, 02:52 PM
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Don't settle for second best Scared - you're worth the best, right?

D
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