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Nervous...

Old 04-10-2015, 10:53 AM
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Nervous...

This process is all very new to me. I used to be such a fit healthy person and now I look at myself and I am a total wreck. I feel horrible 90% of the time. I'm exhausted and hung-over more days of the week than I care to think about. Over the last several years the drinking has eaten away at me. It started small, maybe a couple on the weekends and then personal issues arose and it became a solace. I didn't have to think about my problems, or at least they didn't bother me as badly when I was buzzed or drunk. Things looked better for that brief moment...until the morning. I have been polishing off a couple bottles of wine AND several (4 or 5) beers in one night fairly regularly. I try to hide all of this from my sons and friends. Their dad and I are separated and I do most of this when they are with him, but I have also put it away pretty bad when they stay on the weekends with me too. I have known for awhile that I have a problem but I have been to scared / ashamed to admit it. I don't want to be that person anymore.
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Old 04-10-2015, 10:55 AM
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Welcome Redd! You will find tons of support and help here.

Sounds like you are making a decision to quit. Great!! What do you plan to do?
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Old 04-10-2015, 10:59 AM
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Welcome to the forums.

Are you committing to putting down the drink from now on? If so, you'll find a lot of support for that here.

Look around, there is a lot of wisdom here.
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Old 04-10-2015, 11:15 AM
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Welcome Redd. Hang in there. There is some great advice on this forum.
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Old 04-10-2015, 11:17 AM
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I'm actually kinda scared about this. I haven't done anything in so long without wanting to drink, that I'm not sure what else TO do! I also have two roommates and they both drink. One is a daily drinker and ALWAYS has it available in the fridge or liquor cabinet and in large quantities too... I just have to keep reminding myself of how good it feels when I'm not a hung over mess and not trying to hide it from my kids.
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Old 04-10-2015, 11:30 AM
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Yeah, well we make a mess of things when we become daily drinkers. We surround ourselves with people just like us.

Is it your home? You are going to have to make some changes to maintain sobriety. It may be moving or getting new roommates or if it is your home, prohibiting alcohol in the house.
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Old 04-10-2015, 11:33 AM
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Originally Posted by ReddLight View Post
I'm actually kinda scared about this. I haven't done anything in so long without wanting to drink, that I'm not sure what else TO do! I also have two roommates and they both drink. One is a daily drinker and ALWAYS has it available in the fridge or liquor cabinet and in large quantities too... I just have to keep reminding myself of how good it feels when I'm not a hung over mess and not trying to hide it from my kids.
I felt the same way you did up until Monday evening. Here I am on Friday, four days sober. We all have to have a starting point. We all learn to crawl before we walk and to walk before we can run. Do you want to quit the booze?
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Old 04-10-2015, 11:39 AM
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Yeah, I know the feeling. Earlier today I was trying to take a photo of myself using my tablet, and every time I took a photo and looked at it I thought, "really, is that actually me? I look horrible. I used to be such a good looking guy".

Anyway, thanks for joining SR. Stay strong, sober, and we're with you all the way!
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Old 04-10-2015, 11:43 AM
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If you decide to stop drinking, we are here to help.

Believe me, many of us have been where you are, and we know it can be done.
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Old 04-10-2015, 11:45 AM
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Welcome red. You took your first step for change. Congratulations on that
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Old 04-10-2015, 11:51 AM
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Welcome. You've come to a great place.
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Old 04-10-2015, 01:37 PM
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I DO want to quit. By happenstance I actually haven't had a drink in 4 days. I recently had to get a second job. I've been working 16 hrs a day. (The fact that I am having to do this has a lot to do with some very poor decisions and associations made through the influence of drinking.) I am also living with the "roommates" because of these bad choices. The rent is free and no utilities to pay either. Back to the point, during these four days, I have noticed that aside from being tired, I feel a little different. Better. I want so badly to stay this way. I looked up the AA meetings available here and I am going to try my first one this week. I don't think I can handle this on my own.

Everyone here sounds so wonderful. All of you can expect to see me regularly.
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Old 04-10-2015, 01:54 PM
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Welcome Reddlight
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Old 04-10-2015, 02:01 PM
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Hi there. Yes many of us wine drinking Moms here. You're doing great on day 4 already. Do whatever you need to do that you stay sober. I'm working on 4 months and feel a lot better about myself but it's still hard at times.
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Old 04-10-2015, 02:12 PM
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Thanks TeeBee! I have to say that these 4 days weren't easy. One of my roommates is always out on the front patio at night with a beer or bourbon n coke. I have had to make the mad run to my room, practically without speaking, to avoid what I knew would be all nighters if I started.
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Old 04-10-2015, 02:16 PM
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Just keep running Reddlight. There's so many of us like you out there. Stay here and get the support you need.
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Old 04-10-2015, 03:23 PM
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Welcome to the Forum Redd!!
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Old 04-10-2015, 03:35 PM
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I have 2 sons as well. 10 and 12. Having them not seeing me drinking all the time like i used to and setting a good example for them motivates me to stay this way.
There are hard days but it gets better. Good luck to you.
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Old 04-10-2015, 03:37 PM
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Great to meet you Redd!

You sound ready to get your life back. It's very hard to admit what alcohol is doing to us - I lost too many years thinking I could control it. I'm glad you're making this important change. You can do it!
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Old 04-10-2015, 06:09 PM
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Howdy from a fellow Texan & former wine/beer drinking single mom. I'm now remarried & sober.

Good things happen when you put the bottle down.

I'm so glad you joined us. Congratulations on the best decision you ever made - for YOU & your children.
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