Nervous...
This process is all very new to me. I used to be such a fit healthy person and now I look at myself and I am a total wreck. I feel horrible 90% of the time. I'm exhausted and hung-over more days of the week than I care to think about. Over the last several years the drinking has eaten away at me. It started small, maybe a couple on the weekends and then personal issues arose and it became a solace. I didn't have to think about my problems, or at least they didn't bother me as badly when I was buzzed or drunk. Things looked better for that brief moment...until the morning. I have been polishing off a couple bottles of wine AND several (4 or 5) beers in one night fairly regularly. I try to hide all of this from my sons and friends. Their dad and I are separated and I do most of this when they are with him, but I have also put it away pretty bad when they stay on the weekends with me too. I have known for awhile that I have a problem but I have been to scared / ashamed to admit it. I don't want to be that person anymore.