New here, my life is crumbling and I need help

Old 12-11-2015, 10:36 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
I'm clearly my own worst enemy
Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 1
You took the words from my mouth

Originally Posted by sortthingsout View Post
I desperately need to sort my life out before I lose everything. Coke ruins the person I am and I hate who I've become. I denied I was an addict as I only used once or twice a week but I can't go out without it and I can't stop when I am out. I run away from who I am and it's a way forget all my problems and stress - something which means I've now spiralled down into the hole I am now in. My nose is a mess, I've wasted so much money, I've missed days at work in the job i killed myself to get and I'm losing my friends. Most of all I'm desperately unhappy - I was anyway but being an addict has only increased my self loathing. I try to go out without i can't seem to have the willpower and I used to be so strong. It's all I can think about. I want to change and I don't want to be like this. I used to be so healthy, driven and hardworking - a person I was proud to be- and now it feels like I'll never get back there.
I just signed up for this site because I'm in the exact same situation. I've lost myself over the course of 10 years and my life has secretly become a daily mental struggle for survival. I literally think about ending my life every day. Like you, I used to offer so much more, and somehow I let it all slip away. I've become so depressed when I should be happy with my life. The continued drug use over many years has taken control of my thoughts and positive outlook in life. I carry so much guilt that it feels like the weight of the world. I spend majority of my daytime contemplating my dilemma, I'm a slave to my thoughts and habits and regrets. I never thought I would be here. I've really let myself down. Sorry my response hasn't offered you anything. I just could relate when reading your post. This is my first comment on this site. I hope you have found peace, if you have I would love to hear more of your story. Thanks and God bless.
Shameful4life is offline  
Old 12-11-2015, 10:44 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
biminiblue's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 19,697
Shamefulforlife, Welcome to the site.

This thread is eight months old and the original poster hasn't been here since April.

There is a lot of support here for you - maybe you could post your story in a new thread in the Newcomers section?

There is a way out. Keep reading on this site and keep talking to us, we care and hope you start your recovery today.
biminiblue is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:51 AM.