Opivotal

Before I quit drinking, alcohol spoke for me all the time. What an ass I made of myself. Yeah, I thought I was so cool, in reality my thinking was muddled with alcohol.

Pour out the alcohol, Dave. Be the coolest of cool.

FallenAngel29

Yeah, no. I think back to all of the conversations (the parts I can remember), the arguments, the threats of divorce my husband and I would throw around, the hole in the wall, all the flights the phones took, the emotional blubbering mess at 3am, the shakey hands at the nail salon the looks on the faces of the people at the liquor store (hell, they even know my dogs name). We were getting blasted every night and looking so pathetic in the meantime. Not ONCE did I ever sway my way around my house and think, "DANG! I AM EFFIN COOL! "

Dave36

No I get it. I had a point last night. I can't remember what it was. I'm honestly not as stupid as I sounded last night. I get all the bad it causes. Guess I was saying a part of me finds sober me much less interesting. There is some truth to that even if we don't want to admit it. I'm not advocating drinking I'm just saying.....

Jupiters

Like Dee said, you have to give sober you a proper chance though. You're throwing in the towel before you get to the good stuff.

I'm glad you have decided NOT to drink all week!!!

Dave36

I agree with everything you guys are saying and I have to stop drinking because it will kill me but if there's anything to be taken from what I'm saying is that people in recovery tend to go to the complete opposite end of the spectrum. I read a lot of people's post that become super judgemental about anything to do with alcohol and suddenly see anyone drinking as an alcoholic. I know other people get what I'm saying. I just have a hard time with painting anything in life as just black or white. Life doesn't work that way. Sorry.

Dave36

I encounter extremism is all I'm saying.

Jupiters

be well dave

ScottFromWI

The truth is that life is life, with or without drinking. It's what you make of it. For me, I drank to get drunk, plain and simple. Yes, life is different without alcohol, but for me it is much better. I may be less "interesting" to the small crowd of drinkers that I used to hang out with, but all I had in common with them was drinking anyway. I know I'm definitely more interesting to my wife and kids now that I am sober, vs. being the isolating drunk that I used to be who spent the majority of my time drinking or figuring out how to keep drinking.

Verte

First things first. You have to go micro and look at your life. Decide what you want from life and how you are going to get there. First you have to know yourself. Let's say you are not an alcoholic (put all labels aside) and are *just* abusing alcohol. Is this where you want to be? How is alcohol working for you? And why are you apologizing all the time for how you feel and what you think?

What is being painted as black and white?

Dee74

Dave - there are lots of things that are black and white.

Keep drinking and you'll find yourself in an ever worsening cycle of pain loss and regret.

Only an drinking alcoholic could see grey areas in that.

D

Dave36

I probably shouldn't be posting right now. In the middle of. Bender. Im not making any friends or doing myself any favors.

ScottFromWI

You might want to think about calling in some local support in the form of detox or perhaps a meeting. This is turning into a pretty long bender for you...looks like it's been about 5 days now, right?

We get it, and many of have been there before - but you aren't going to figure anything out while you are drunk. Dump it out before things get really bad.

Dave36

Believe it or not I've been keeping it together pretty good. Things can get much much worse.

Dave36

Drunk Dave haven't even made an appearance yet. Been able to keep that in check so far. I really don't want that to happen.

ScottFromWI

Please pour out what you have. You aren't thinking clearly.

dwtbd

The black and white is that there is a way for him to never make any appearances again. But its totally on you, you can if you want.

Soberwolf

Try and sleep it off dave

spk soon bud

Dave36

I'm just pissed of guys. Idk what to do. Nothing's working for me. Drunk or sober. I'm not gonna keep apologizing cause after I while it sounds like BS. Cause it is really. It sounds hollow to keep doing the same **** and then keep saying I'm sorry. Have a felling you guys have been there. My wife's a saint to put up with me. I'm not violent or anything I just hurt myself mostly. But she has to watch.

Dave36

I mean I hurt myself by drinking. I'm not a cutter or anything. Lol

Soberwolf

Pour your drink out and sleep it off im telling you this as a friend

pls dave