Dave36

Hey to anyone that's been following my nonsense. I know it's not real. But this is the feeling I miss. I know it's a lie. But a big part of me wants to say **** it and sell my soul.

LBrain

and a bigger part of you wants to be cool and stay sober

Soberwolf

Thats 100% AV dont give in to it Dave lean on us for support

Dave36

I actually way cooler drunk. I'm so lame and boring sober. I know that's what everyone says but it's true

strategery

I get what you're getting at Dave. Still, the alcohol isn't going to work forever to numb yourself. What are you going to do then? What are you going to do when you start having health problems due to it? What are you going to do when you start having to drink not to get drunk, but to ward off withdrawal?
You're going to be going what you were going through to get sober, but it will be even worse if you keep going.

SDH73

Hope you can figure this out, Dave.

Alynn

It's so not worth it bud! He consequences out way that feeling. Rooting for you.

dwtbd

When I wanted to drink more than I wanted to get sober, I didn't seek out recovery forums. I think a bigger part of you wants to get sober than not. Pour out what's left, drink some water and let the better part get to bed.

Dee74

Dig this Dave....

You haven't been sober long enough to have any real idea of who sober you is yet.

We drank for years right? Give recovery a decent chance

D

Dave36

I know. I've lived it. I've had bad liver tests. But everyone reading this knows the pure horrible wonderful hateful exquisite joy and death that's running through my veins right now. It's undeniable in its power. How I've missed it so.

Soberwolf

I agree with D give sober you a chance

Dee74

Geez, you're really letting the AV beat you around good right now Dave.

It's only 'undeniable in its power' cos you've not really tried anything else, man.

If your only tool is a bottle, what are you gonna do?

If you really want change you're gonna have to look for more tools.

D

least

I hope you'll pour it out and go to sleep. Look at things in the morning when your head is more clear. Drinking muddles our thinking.

Dave36

Yeah dee. Sorry I may have gone round the bend as they say.

silentrun

Dump it out Dave. Send a message to that voice that tells you lies that you deserve better.

Dee74

There's always a different route to take Dave. I hope you decide to soon.

D

dwtbd

Flowery dichotomies, but contradictions don't actually exist, you need to check your premises.

esinger

The only one who has to think your cool is you. I think that being drunk all the time is lame and I was pretty lame for 30 plus years. What a waste of life. The last couple years on again off again until I was torn down and worn out. I get it. Once you let go of the compulsion for good, it's such a relief.

You can do this.

brynn

Dave...what's running through your veins right now is poison and it will destroy you.
I really hope you you dump the rest and revisit this tomorrow with a clearer head.

Dave36

I'm not sure why I ever quit. Other than being over dramatic like I am now.