Why I went back out and how was it like, a short explanation.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Mediterranean
Posts: 187
Originally Posted by doggonecarl 
Really. I read the posts to SR you wrote during your drinking experiment. I tend to disagree. They've been removed from the boards, so you can't go back and read. But they made only a little less sense than you are making now.
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Unix, I hope you read this thread tomorrow when you are sober. I also read your thread yesterday before it got removed. Carl, Scott and Anna are telling you the truth.
You were really bad
None of us know you personally or have any agenda (unlike your freaking AV with its quacking about caffeine) and we have no reason to make that stuff up. We are just alcoholics like you who hope you ll quit drinking because we know it can only go downhill from there.
PS: and don't you dare be embarrassed to come back!!! We are all former drunks here. We understand. You don't have the monopoly for doing and saying stupid stuff while intoxicated.
You had 20 months and you can do it again.
You were really bad
None of us know you personally or have any agenda (unlike your freaking AV with its quacking about caffeine) and we have no reason to make that stuff up. We are just alcoholics like you who hope you ll quit drinking because we know it can only go downhill from there.
PS: and don't you dare be embarrassed to come back!!! We are all former drunks here. We understand. You don't have the monopoly for doing and saying stupid stuff while intoxicated.
You had 20 months and you can do it again.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
I too drank again after a long period of sobriety (5.5 years). The first 2 months or so I drank "normally". I could have 1 or 2 drinks and be done. I didn't "pick up where I left off" after I relapsed either.
BUT...by month 3, the obsession started to set in...then the cravings....and soon I WAS right back where I left off before my 5.5 years of sobriety. Actually...I was WORSE and it's been much harder to get sober this time.
Just my experience. For ME, alcoholism is a progressive fatal disease. Mine may progress slowly because it's patient, but it's still there and wants to kill me.
Good luck to you. I'm done experimenting! It's hell out there!
BUT...by month 3, the obsession started to set in...then the cravings....and soon I WAS right back where I left off before my 5.5 years of sobriety. Actually...I was WORSE and it's been much harder to get sober this time.
Just my experience. For ME, alcoholism is a progressive fatal disease. Mine may progress slowly because it's patient, but it's still there and wants to kill me.
Good luck to you. I'm done experimenting! It's hell out there!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Oh and P.S. I have a friend who was sober for 5 years and tried to experiment with alcohol again. Within 12 months he was dead. He just couldn't get sober again no matter how hard he tried and how many treatment centers etc. he went to. He killed himself last year by jumping off a building. Sad. So very sad.
I always have another drunk in me but another recovery is never promised. I agree with others...be careful! You could be playing with fire!
I always have another drunk in me but another recovery is never promised. I agree with others...be careful! You could be playing with fire!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 607
So if I quit drinking Mountain Dew and coffee, I can start drinking vodka again but this time responsibly. Wait till I tell my wife!
Seriously, I don't think I'll be a rat in this experiment. Open minded to anything but the risk out weighs any possible benefit. At least for me.
Seriously, I don't think I'll be a rat in this experiment. Open minded to anything but the risk out weighs any possible benefit. At least for me.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Pacific Coast
Posts: 785
I've always been overly sensitive to stimulants and have avoided caffeine quite strictly for most of my adult life, including before, during, and after my 12-year bout with alcoholism.
Does that mean I never really was an alcoholic, or that my recovery from alcoholism is just an illusion?
Does that mean I never really was an alcoholic, or that my recovery from alcoholism is just an illusion?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 418
Hey Unix. I too read your thread the other day and you said some stuff which.. um.. let's just say I thought by now you may be in a government controlled long term detox facility with Bubba.
Drinking is not your friend. I doubt the courts would accept Science as an excuse either.
-- Edit: Thanks to the mods for removing the thread.
Drinking is not your friend. I doubt the courts would accept Science as an excuse either.
-- Edit: Thanks to the mods for removing the thread.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1,228
Unix,
I feel bad for you. I think I read some of that thread and was confused. Whatever you do, don't leave because you are embarrassed. Maybe the best thing you did was log on here, so that people who know the most about where you were here when you were drunk, but mostly they also knew where you were before your 'experiment.'
I am taking hardcore notes this time. I have sobered up and failed to stay sober. I can't drink anymore. I just read my old journals from when I tried to get sober almost three years ago. I was MUCH better off when I started, than how I am after those multiple relapses. If I would have stayed abstinent, my children would have had a normal, happy childhood.
I don't think you can afford anymore relapses. You have to stay clean for good. I sure know the feeling of being lectured after relapsing; it sucks. You feel helpless to alcohol and you feel alone because nobody supports you. Please stick around.
I feel bad for you. I think I read some of that thread and was confused. Whatever you do, don't leave because you are embarrassed. Maybe the best thing you did was log on here, so that people who know the most about where you were here when you were drunk, but mostly they also knew where you were before your 'experiment.'
I am taking hardcore notes this time. I have sobered up and failed to stay sober. I can't drink anymore. I just read my old journals from when I tried to get sober almost three years ago. I was MUCH better off when I started, than how I am after those multiple relapses. If I would have stayed abstinent, my children would have had a normal, happy childhood.
I don't think you can afford anymore relapses. You have to stay clean for good. I sure know the feeling of being lectured after relapsing; it sucks. You feel helpless to alcohol and you feel alone because nobody supports you. Please stick around.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by Crossfitdad
Incoming!!!
Anyway unix, how about we are done with experiments and get back to not drinking.
20 months with no booze is great. Let's try to make it 200 months next time?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 808
The ony thing this 'experiment' proves is just how creative the AV can be!
I saw the posts people are referring to and I would agree, not only were they aggressively antagonistic you also seemed suicidally depressed. You shouldn't drink, friend, that's the conclusion you should draw.
It also worries me a bit, what if a newcomer, still a little unsure in their sobriety and wavering a little, reads the original post to this thread, takes it a face value and believes that caffeine played a part in their alcohol addiction, the AV takes over and before long they're trying a little "Experiment" of their own?
Kind of irresponsible really.
I saw the posts people are referring to and I would agree, not only were they aggressively antagonistic you also seemed suicidally depressed. You shouldn't drink, friend, that's the conclusion you should draw.
It also worries me a bit, what if a newcomer, still a little unsure in their sobriety and wavering a little, reads the original post to this thread, takes it a face value and believes that caffeine played a part in their alcohol addiction, the AV takes over and before long they're trying a little "Experiment" of their own?
Kind of irresponsible really.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Originally Posted by ru12
Take care out there. I know that I'm not not drinking because I can't drink. I can drink anytime I want to. I'm not drinking because I'm happier being sober. I hope you find peace.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Hi Unix. I also drank after a significant time of sobriety...31 months to be exact. I used these excuses
My Dad died.
I have PTSD
I have depression
I was leaving a job I loved after 12 years
My kids left home
I didn't think of using the term 'scientific experiment' but I'm likely not as creative as you.
Truth is, I drank because I'm an alcoholic and I wanted to drink more than I wanted to stay sober.
So here I am, back to day 7. More determined than ever but I'm realistic this isn't going to be easy. First of all I had to get honest with myself. Then I had to get honest with others.
I hope you can find your way back because it's no fun out there x
My Dad died.
I have PTSD
I have depression
I was leaving a job I loved after 12 years
My kids left home
I didn't think of using the term 'scientific experiment' but I'm likely not as creative as you.
Truth is, I drank because I'm an alcoholic and I wanted to drink more than I wanted to stay sober.
So here I am, back to day 7. More determined than ever but I'm realistic this isn't going to be easy. First of all I had to get honest with myself. Then I had to get honest with others.
I hope you can find your way back because it's no fun out there x
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Originally Posted by Serenidad
Oh and P.S. I have a friend who was sober for 5 years and tried to experiment with alcohol again. Within 12 months he was dead. He just couldn't get sober again no matter how hard he tried and how many treatment centers etc. he went to. He killed himself last year by jumping off a building. Sad. So very sad.
I always have another drunk in me but another recovery is never promised. I agree with others...be careful! You could be playing with fire!
I always have another drunk in me but another recovery is never promised. I agree with others...be careful! You could be playing with fire!
How awful!! xxx
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