Dave36

Had 73 days. Longest I've been sober in 15 years at least. Hope to start fresh tomorrow. Hope I don't wake up with that old need in morning. Really hope I'mnot set back. Hope that I didn't wake the monster.

Coldfusion

There's lots of hope in your post. Do you have a new plan?

sva777

I hope you feel better tomorrow and get back on plan.

brynn

I'm really sorry to hear that you drank, Dave.
Tomorrow is a new day...set your sights forward.
Glad you're here.

Dave36

Wanted to see if I could I guess. I know that's all our fantisies. To see if we can maybe moderate this time. I know better but I just woke up this morning and decided to drink. I've felt this coming for a week or so. Been getting too comfortable or something idk. I start feeling better and forget where this road leads. I start thinking I've learned from my mistakes it won't get as bad as before but in fact I apparently haven't learned anything.

Serenidad

Sorry you drank Dave. What's your plan going forward? Do you have face to face support? Hang in there!

Mountainmanbob

Hope that tomorrow you will make a firm decision.

Mountainman

brynn

Dave...actually, it sounds like you have learned something and it sounds like tomorrow will be your last day one. Make it happen and you never have to have this regret again! You can so do this! I believe in you, Dave.

Dave36

Wasn't even that pleasurable. It was ok but it wasn't worth all the worry and thought I've been wasting on it the last few days.

Pouncer

Dave, don't beat yourself. I hope to stay sober forever, but I won't do the counting. If I slipped, I felt like I was starting over from the beginning. This is part of your voyage. You know you need to stay abstinent and you will if you keep trying and treating yourself well.

I haven't had that long of an abstinent period in months and months. You're doing better than me. I hate that voice. I spent so many of my years living by it, and I feel I don't have much left. I hope you can start over with the same determination and learn from your experience. Just don't beat yourself up. That will wake the beast more than anything, at least, that was my experience.

Dave36

There is some frustration with sobriety. I know it take more than 2 months to heal from 15 years of daily drinking but I have tons of anxiety and an almost constant feeling of deep unease. PAWS maybe? I became impatient I suppose with the slow progress and just craved a few hours of peace.

alphaomega

I'm in a very similar place mentally. So, did it work ?

Dave36

Well I'll see in the morning because what tends to happen is all those feelings are ten times worse after drinking then I have to drink more to compensate then I'm back on that downward spiral. it was ok but I know enough now about this whole thing that my guilt kinda ruined any fun I was having

thomas11

Hi Dave, I think its good your honest about the whole thing. Picking up the bottle is the easy part, the hard part is...can you put it back down? Slipping up happens to everyone, and if you are able to put it away and get back on track, I think your fine. If you can't, that is where trouble is. Agree?

Soberwolf

Keep trying Dave

KateL

Get back on that horse xxxx

waywardson8260

Good luck Dave. It does take a long time to kick this. Hope you can get right back and make this your last day one.

Crasfd

Good luck Dave.
I'm early into sobriety after 15 years of heavy addiction. I've almost done three weeks now, after stopping a bottle of vodka every evening.
I find your post interesting and I want to learn from it myself if I can. Where you say you'd felt it coming for a week... Was it an urge to drink for a week or did you know you were going to drink?
I don't know if I'm lucky or not, but at the moment I feel great and I don't want to drink one bit. I've lost two friends during the past two weeks due to cirrhosis, they both died very suddenly after going to the doctor with signs of jaundice. - maybe this is playing on my mind?
Did you feel great prior to this last week or have you struggled?

Look forward to hearing back from you.

Best of luck today!

Dave36

In my case the first month or so is pretty easy. I think it's easy to stay focused and sober after a rough detox. All the bad stuff is fresh in your mind. The trouble for me starts once I start to feel a little better. The denial will start to creep back in. Im glad you're feeling good. I was feeling physically great although I've been having lots of anxiety and been feeling very jittery since getting sober which I've been told can happen. I was a daily drinker for 15 years. I'm starting again today and prepared for the fact that it could take up to a year for some of the symptoms to fade. I need to not get frustrated that I'm not feeling like myself yet. I feel foggy and uneasy but I need to stick with sobriety long term to feel better and not give in for just a few hours of peace.

LBrain

it must be my mood this morning.
All I can say is, "Knucklehead!"