smadams11

starting on the sunday 22nd february:
i didn't drink for 5 full days and nights with no withdrawal symptoms.
i then drank 6 beers on friday night and 6 beers on saturday night.
sunday 1st march:
i didn't drink for 5 full days and nights with no withdrawal symptoms.
i then drank 6 beers on friday night and 6 beers on saturday night.
sunday 9th march:
i haven't drank for 3 days and nights and don't plan to for the next 2 nights.
i plan to drink on the weekend.
is this okay? i am aware that practically no one has managed to moderate their drinking, and in the end had to be total abstinent. but is it at all possible to moderate? i think i am doing well, but at the weekend i want that time to let go of my responsibilities and actually sleep at a decent time.
i have been drunk a total of 4 nights out of 18, i think. that seems like a pretty good ratio to me.

calikidd

I believe by doing that you control and power over alcohol, and isn't that what we are all really after

ArtFriend

I think if you can drink in moderation, then you really don't have a problem right? Most alcoholics cannot drink moderately.

least

I never could moderate my drinking. It was easier for me to quit totally than to try to moderate.

Jupiters

trying to moderate was exhausting at best.
and futile.
Life became much easier to navigate once alcohol was just completely removed.

doggonecarl

If you are struggling to stay sober, and want to drink, you'll convince yourself that it is okay. And you'll do so without getting affirmation from a forum whose members are seeking sobriety.

ScottFromWI

For many years I could "moderate" my drinking for short periods of time, but inevitably I would always return to drinking every day, and drinking a lot. Towards the end I was physically addicted and could not stop drinking even for one day.

The questions I would suggest you ask yourself
1. Does the drinking you do cause problems in your life, even if it isn't every day?
2. Why did you need to come to a sobriety/recovery website to find out if your drinking is "OK"? If you have to even think about moderating your alcohol intake, that might be a telltale sign in itself.

DoubleFelix

When I first came to SR I was shocked to learn that most people - normal drinkers - don't think of moderating their drinking, they simply do it. That was when I realized that if I was having to try to moderate, which I was, then I was a poor candidate for drinking normally. It just isn't something I can do, and pretending that I could was exhausting.

I don't mean this as a criticism, but this is what I see going on with your list. I use to write lists like these too. Really it was a way to see my drinking as in control, but the fact that I had to write a list in the first place shows how much influence alcohol had over me. Again, normal drinkers don't do such things, but you can better almost every member of this forum has.

It really is way easier to abstain all together than try and moderate. I encourage you to give it a try, smadams11.

Soberwolf

For me i dont believe moderation works

gettingsmarter

Using withdraw symptoms as an indicator of if you are drinking too much is pretty dangerous.

PurpleKnight

Alcohol has done you no favours, check this post out from June:

10 years is a long time to try to moderate, honestly it sounds like your mind is trying to convince you to keep drinking, and justifying it in terms of I can now moderate is what it has come up with!!

It might be worthwhile going back and reading many of your previous threads to get some perspective on things!!

ReadyAtLast

Normal people who drink normally/moderately don't actually think about it. they certainly don't plan drinks, count nights, count different types of drink etc.

Have you tried to moderate before? Did it work? I think for many of us arriving here follows years of attempts at moderation which have failed, even if it lasted a few days/weeks initially.

If you want us to say it's ok to drink on the weekend that's not going to happen. Something brought you to a sobriety site. If it was to get sober then drinking isn't a good option no matter how much it's dressed up as moderation/control/being responsible etc

For me, getting sober meant I could eventually stop the incessant thinking about how many drinks I was going to have,what time I would start, what nights I would drink on, how I could try and control something that really totally controlled me. Acceptance of that brought peace of mind

Dave36

Yeah. That's a little crazy in my opinion. Saying you can drink all you want as long as you don't have withdrawl isn't the smartest thing I've ever heard. That's one way to ensure by this time next year you will have withdrawl. Once you cross that line there's no going back.

AddictGuy

You may get away with moderation for a while, or controlling it. But as I look into my crystal ball, I see that you are starting down a road that is going to look more and more like trouble and addiction as miles and time goes by. You may have to find that out for yourself, but I can "see" you finding it out one day. I hope it is not too expensive of a lesson for you when you learn it -- for you or for anyone else.

Ruby2

You may not drink every day but your drinking isn't moderate. Something to consider. Six beers on Friday and six beers on Saturday? Not moderate. You've only been DRUNK four days out of 18? Normal, moderate drinkers don't typically drink to get drunk.

Read what PurpleKnight posted. Be kind to yourself. Work on giving up the idea of moderating. It's so exhausting. It's so time consuming and ultimately unsuccessful. You can stop. You can lead a full and happy life without the alcohol. It may be hard to accept that but it's true.

Fly N Buy

Alcoholics don't moderate anything well.........We are sort of all or nothing folks.

If you have judged yourself to be one, there is little hope of moderation. I would imagine that normal people don't post their drinking habits on a sober recovery website with questions about moderation, but maybe some do....

Either way, welcome - glad you're here!
Read around........you'll find some words that resonate I am sure

lunar

No moderation here.
I ultimately wound up running at full throttle.
I killed the ignition before I spun a bearing.

SDH73

I was talking to a guy at work a few months ago and the topic was how many days since our last drink.

He said, "haven't had a drink in X days."

I replied, "I haven't had a drink in Y days."

Then a confused looking third guy chimed in with, "Hm, I've never counted how many days I've gone without a drink."

Can you spot the one who probably does NOT have a drinking problem in that story?

Hawkeye13

Doesn't work for long and is too much work.

People with alcohol problems drink to get drunk.
One or two just doesn't cut it for us.

Only you can look in your heart and know the truth for you--
Is it OK?

totfit

Moderation absolutely works for "some" people. In fact the overwhelming majority of the population can easily moderate. If you are part of that small minority that can't moderate, then well you can't moderate. I have followed closely some moderation boards and it was way too much effort for some. Much easier to stay abstinent for most in the "minority" including myself.