is it at all possible to moderate drinking?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
My husband is a moderate drinker but he's never been on this website & doesn't need it, has never been to an AA meeting, can drink 1 beer and not think about it again for weeks. Is more interested in what he is ordering to EAT at a restaurant than what he's gonna drink...etc. He pretty much likes to try different beers for the "taste". Haha.
I will never understand moderate drinking. If I was a moderate drinker I wouldn't be on SR. I wouldn't even know what this site was. No one ends up on SoberRecovery.com by accident...
I will never understand moderate drinking. If I was a moderate drinker I wouldn't be on SR. I wouldn't even know what this site was. No one ends up on SoberRecovery.com by accident...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 6,902
For what it's worth, and with a sincere wish to cause no further resentments...
People who are NOT alcoholic can moderate their alcohol consumption.
People who are alcoholic are POWERLESS over alcohol. So, maybe they go 5 days without a drink, but when they pick up again, things are likely to go haywire. The plans we make to only have x number of drinks ; Spends x number of hours drinking; only drink such and such kind of drink end up just futile efforts. My favourite was only taking £x down the pub with me and promising myself I'd come back when I'd spent it - and of course once I'd spent it my resolve was weakened, I had that delicious fizz of the brain going, I felt attractive and funny - I was on fire!! How could I go home NOW??!!) I kidded myself with that s**t for many, many years. I kidded myself about a lot over many, many years. After a year sober I'm starting to properly learn about myself; my resentments; my fears; and how to Live Sober happily.
But I discovered that I am an alcoholic. (I still feel a bit melodramatic using that word). And of course, the kind of people I surrounded myself with drank like me, which went some way to convincing myself that I was 'normal' (Sober, sane people didn't want to spend too much time with me, because I was so unreliable when drinking, and awfully resentful and touchy when sober, could never admit to being wrong, and could hold a grudge like nobodies business - so I didn't really know enough about their mystery existences to hold them as a point of comparison).
Anyway. If you are NOT an alcoholic, then none of this will apply to you. It sounds like you are mostly in a dilemma about whether you are an alcoholic or not.
You've probably already looked at that AA list of what constitutes an alcoholic, but why not have a cuppa and look again? (It might be worth re-reading some of your own posts from over the last year and a half first to remind you of some of what alcohol has put you though, and how it has affected your life and your thinking). No-one can make that decision about whether or not you are an alcoholic apart from you. (Well, they can I suppose, but only for their own opinions - not for you!) Good luck.
PS Hope you're feeling better this morning. You sounded pretty cross last night.
Alcoholics Anonymous : Is A.A. For You? Twelve questions only you can answer
If you don't like the answer you get from that test, there are lots more online tests that do a similar thing...
20 Questions Are You An Alcoholic? - Alcoholics Anonymous in Lanark Leeds Golden Triangle District 66
https://ncadd.org/learn-about-alcoho...buse-self-test
People who are NOT alcoholic can moderate their alcohol consumption.
People who are alcoholic are POWERLESS over alcohol. So, maybe they go 5 days without a drink, but when they pick up again, things are likely to go haywire. The plans we make to only have x number of drinks ; Spends x number of hours drinking; only drink such and such kind of drink end up just futile efforts. My favourite was only taking £x down the pub with me and promising myself I'd come back when I'd spent it - and of course once I'd spent it my resolve was weakened, I had that delicious fizz of the brain going, I felt attractive and funny - I was on fire!! How could I go home NOW??!!) I kidded myself with that s**t for many, many years. I kidded myself about a lot over many, many years. After a year sober I'm starting to properly learn about myself; my resentments; my fears; and how to Live Sober happily.
But I discovered that I am an alcoholic. (I still feel a bit melodramatic using that word). And of course, the kind of people I surrounded myself with drank like me, which went some way to convincing myself that I was 'normal' (Sober, sane people didn't want to spend too much time with me, because I was so unreliable when drinking, and awfully resentful and touchy when sober, could never admit to being wrong, and could hold a grudge like nobodies business - so I didn't really know enough about their mystery existences to hold them as a point of comparison).
Anyway. If you are NOT an alcoholic, then none of this will apply to you. It sounds like you are mostly in a dilemma about whether you are an alcoholic or not.
You've probably already looked at that AA list of what constitutes an alcoholic, but why not have a cuppa and look again? (It might be worth re-reading some of your own posts from over the last year and a half first to remind you of some of what alcohol has put you though, and how it has affected your life and your thinking). No-one can make that decision about whether or not you are an alcoholic apart from you. (Well, they can I suppose, but only for their own opinions - not for you!) Good luck.
PS Hope you're feeling better this morning. You sounded pretty cross last night.
Alcoholics Anonymous : Is A.A. For You? Twelve questions only you can answer
If you don't like the answer you get from that test, there are lots more online tests that do a similar thing...
20 Questions Are You An Alcoholic? - Alcoholics Anonymous in Lanark Leeds Golden Triangle District 66
https://ncadd.org/learn-about-alcoho...buse-self-test
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