KDP123

As long as when you're not acting out/blacking out when you get drunk it seems like you have control over it.

sva777

If we really had control moderating we would not be here.

ReadyAtLast

Most young people who are normal drinkers don't sign up to recovery sites. Something brought you here. It appears that you are trying to convince yourself you don't have a problem. Of course, we don't know if you do or not and it's not for us to tell you anyway- only you know that but something brought you here. If you are happy that's great but normal drinkers don't sign up to recovery sites. I am not being contentious, please don't think that. your post appears to be trying to convince yourself you don't have a problem. Maybe read your old posts?

tomsteve

Please keep us informed in the weeks, months, years ahead of how it's working for you.
And know if it doesn't SR will be here still.

SixStringZen

With all due respect, did you really expect people to say, "Sure, whatev, go for it!" ?

sva777

Look back the the OP posts over the past few years. I am no expert but there seems to be one thing that is causing much unneeded stress in this persons life and it is alcohol. We are only alive for a short time why become a slave to the bottle.

anattaboy

There is a site dedicated to this (HAMS). When you get enough of that, there is always Here, AA, Jail, Prison or the morgue. Truth bites.

PinkGstring

If you are an alcoholic like me you know deep down in your heart that moderating your drinking is just a cheap excuse for not having to quit all together cos it freaks you out, the thought to never drink again. Well it freaked me out.
7 years long living with my ex I kept saying I'm not an alcoholic I just have some drinking problems, so I wanted to prove I could moderate.
I had been addicted for tgree years before I met my ex in 2006.
I was not ready to admit I am an alcoholic and that I had to give up all together.
Sounds like you are in deniel like I was years ago.
You know in your heart that moderation will not work forever. And soon you will be back in your old pattern of getting blind every night again, well that was in my case.
Good luck moderating your drinking I hope for you it will work out.

Ps when I was a smoker I moderated smoking saying I don't want to quit I like the taste of smokes I enjoy smoking.
******** really smoking is disgusting everyone knows it.
I wanted to quit but I didn't want to cos I was scared for the unknown. Being clean.

smadams11

i was wondering whether it was possible to moderate and i was explaining how i was planning to do that. thats all.
i was obviously expecting to be told 'no' but thought i would ask anyway and see if moderation has worked for anyone else.

Tang

The fact that you have to count your drinks indicates to me you minimally have a psychological fixation on your alcohol intake. Normal drinkers don't do this. I fear this will lead to a slippery slope. And I'm not giving medical advice, but 6 beers is considered binge drinking by most standards.

Pouncer

Okay, here's your answer: no, not if you're an alcoholic.

Seriously, we have all chimed in. No, no, no it is not possible. I am a newbie and I am trying my damnedest to stay abstinent forever. This is a little frustrating to me, because my LIFE, and everyone else's lives here, depend on permanent abstinence. I came here so I could be away from moderation-management thinking. It almost killed me and orphaned my children.

I am sorry if I am short-tempered at this point. My life depends on being surrounded by abstinent recoverers. I am still going through detox and besides being grumpy, I can't imagine why you would want to detox every week. It is not logical.

I do wish you the best. Hang in there...

Pouncer

Read this from the Straight Dope:

The Straight Dope: Why can?t alcoholics learn to drink in moderation?

smadams11

i don't think you are taking seriously the fact that i am actually genuinely upset here. i feel belittled and made fun of for asking the opinions of others, many of whom have attempted themselves to moderate, in regards to my plans (or rather, what my drinking pattern had been for a few weeks-which i may add, i was extremely proud of. that ratio is still looking good to me, and considering that 3 nights is the most i have ever gotten to without alcohol, before returning to drinking every single night, 5 days & nights with no beer every week for 3 weeks is nothing to be sneered at. i am still very proud of this achievement; some may not call it that but i consider it so as anything is an improvement and therefore an achievement over my drinking habits before).
i am not trying to control or make excuses for my drinking. i am trying to live a happy life, whilst also enjoying it (yes, i know-ridiculous. 'it will all end in tears') and i am actually at that place now, so lets hope it stays that way. if not, then i will be no different than many others on this site who have tried and failed (but were amazingly actually allowed to do this-praised during their successes and supported during their lapses!)

in my previous posts i have clearly been troubled and wanted to stop drinking. i tried to explain that maybe i am an alcoholic..., or maybe i just loved drinking so much that i wanted to do it every night (as i have stated, i am this extreme with many of the things i like/enjoy) and obviously regretted it when i was actually drunk.

i don't know what to say as i don't know if i'm addicted or not. can you know from the beginning? am i in denial? am i just confused as its still early days in my seeking help (only 2 years or something, which is not long compared to many)? or am i a 'problem drinker' rather than an alcoholic?

all i know is i was looking for support and opinions (thank you to those who did-it helped a lot) - not a 'hooray', not a 'sure, whatev, go for it', just opinions and support from people who know. instead (from some people, certainly not all) i got patronised and made to feel like a ridiculously self-absorbed teenager looking for permission to drink (i was asking if the plan, the concept in my mind was worth pursuing, not just asking if its okay for me to drink).
i was also made to feel that i was being untactful and selfish for saying what i did. of course i WAS to a certain extent-i realised that before i posted-but i have seen other similar posts before and so thought it would be okay to ASK A FEW QUESTIONS. my god, what is so wrong with having a plan and asking opinions on it?!

so i am upset and offended and ashamed of asking opinions and sharing my feelings (feelings that i haven't had for many years that are now finally emerging-i guess i will learn that i should keep them locked up). and, yes, for also sharing my journey; i understand that you wouldn't want to do that, but i am not you. i never tried to say that my life/habits/whatever were any different from anyone else's, or that i was unique-of course you are right that we are all exactly the same right down to the tiny details, therefore i couldn't possibly have an opinion regarding my own recovery-i should just follow what you say.

i am so upset in fact, that i am actually using these stupid 'smilie' things-something i have never done before, but i am finding that they are a great way to further express how i am feeling. (won't be using them again though, stupid modern era with its surplus of useless crap)

regarding the 'drinking is not a journey' thing (how insightful), i was not referring to drinking as a journey, but rather the journey from being a drunk to being sober/drinking safely-if its not a journey, then what exactly is the f*****g point?! the journey is rediscovering yourself, uncovering your old passions and loves, becoming whole again, restoring broken family ties etc. this is how i see it anyway, and i would class it as not just a journey, but perhaps one of the most important journeys of your life. being sober is not a journey in any way- its better; its the beginning of a new life. but you need to take a journey to get there. i hope someone can at least manage to say a 'thanks' for that if nothing else i have said, because the fact that people 'thanked' the 'drinking is not a journey' quote just says to me that you know absolutely nothing or are fairly dense. (just stating my opinion-others have done it, not so kindly, to me also).

i can see that i am seeming obtuse and strange in my views so i will be leaving to, hopefully, find somewhere that accepts and understands what a journey is, and appreciates that when people are recovering they don't always have the best ideas but its okay for them to ask anyway-there may even be a chance they won't get bashed around the head for it. if not, i still have my own strength and God to get me through.

i am not angry, although it is certainly coming off that way, and i'm sure someone will be kind enough to point out that 'maybe there's a reason for that'-are you all closet psychologists or something?! and i am not purposely being over-dramatic, again its just the way its coming out while i express my feelings/thoughts.

i cant find a way to deactivate my account so can someone (an administrator?) do that for me please? thanks again to all.

KateL

I tried to moderate on and off for years but, for me, it never worked. xxxx

ccam1973

smadams, i hope you dont leave. most everyone here is just trying to help in their own capacity. i think the moderation question always touches a nerve with some because most of us to some extent wish we could moderate. i know i have tried in the past. it always led to me drinking more and more. if weekend drinking is achievable and works in your life then thats your decision, not a right or wrong decision, but your decision.

i drank heavily for years and had a fun time doing it for the first few. not a right or wrong decision, it was just part of my decision making at that time. my drinking was always a problem but i was never ready to quit.

you are your own person and need to find your own path. you can read all of the opinions of me and others here, but they are just that... opinions. you are your reality, what works for you might not work for others.

the last time i tried moderation i started making a calendar of the days i drank versus non drinking days. its funny to look back at those early days now. i lasted about a month sticking to drinking only fri and sat... then it turned into fri -sun... then drank on tuesday, then thursday... you get the picture. i have a problem and i personally cant moderate. it doesnt fit into my addictive personality. that doesn't mean it wont work for you.

i think many here are just trying to save you the pain they experienced themselves when they tried to moderate.

you will ultimately have to determine what works for you, no one else can do that for you... only you. i know plenty of people who only drink on the weekends and enjoy it, that just fine...they dont have a problem, they dont obsess on the off days about drinking.

even after 8 months sober i still obsess about drinking on some days... i still look back at my moderation days and thank god for giving me the strength to turn those into non-drinking days.

stay strong and stick to the plan you are setting for today until that plan needs to be adjusted. it might not ever need to, but be open to adjustment if it does.

stay strong and i hope you return!!!

Crasfd

I could moderate in only one way. - I didn't drink at work.
I tried cutting down, missing days and going for beer instead of vodka. I would end up drinking 24 cans of Stella, then going to buy vodka. I had to stop totally.

In my opinion, if you are thinking about your consumption and trying to moderate, you have a problem. This problem will slowly spiral until it's a huge problem.

Do non alcoholics create a drinking schedule like yours? Do they plan what to drink and record it for analysis? Or do they just go out, have a few drinks and a bit of fun then not think about drinking again until the next time they go out? It could be the following month. For them drinking is not an issue so there is no need.

I'd stop drinking totally now, whilst you still can.

Good luck!

Crasfd

Nobody here can belittle you. We are all alcoholics.
I'm in the early stages of sobriety and have asked loads of questions. Sometimes people try and be smart and cocky, but I ignore it and keep asking. I'm new and have a head full of questions!
Most people here are brilliant and I jump on here whenever I can during the day. It's a great help and the support is brilliant.

Please stick at it!

Carlotta

No real need to de activate if you feel you are not an alcoholic. We have many non alcoholic members on SR on the Friends and Family section who come here to share all the heartache and drama caused by their drunken loved ones and to seek support.
If you are successful and not an alcoholic then it's not like you lost anything: SR membership is free. If you find out you cannot moderate, you will already have an account set up here.

Wishing you the best.

JadedGirl

Haven't read the rest of the answers and a bit sensitive tonight so sorry if this comes across wrong but if u have a few drinks fri and sat night, go all week without a drink with no effects and then have a few drinks again next weekend doesn't sound like u have a problem in which case yea u can drink moderately.

jezza

What Scott said!!

Why did you need to come to a sobriety/recovery website to find out if your drinking is "OK"? If you have to even think about moderating your alcohol intake, that might be a telltale sign in itself.