2dayzmuse

Great job all!!! That's what I call team work. Helping a fellow alcoholic, at it's best. Good night.

suze

Good moring everyone:
It is very early here and I wanted to stop in before work and my day begins. Dan, you were right, sleep was hard and lots of weird dreams, but I made it. This morning I am tired, but happy that I am NOT hungover yet again. Tired is definitely better. Also, I am glad yesterday is behind me. I know today is going to be rough, I will battle that voice after work today that tells me that since I quit one day, I'm fine and can drink today. Unfortunatly I am very forgiving when it comes to alcohol and I easily forget the hangovers and the misery. But i will try to keep that, as well as how it feels to have my head on straight in front of me.
I read how I started this yesterday morning by saying I can't even go one day. But I did, much to my surprise, so I guess I can go two, I pray I can go two.
Your support is what got me through yesterday. I willl be back after work looking for more of the same, I am sure. Thank you all again for being there. TEnzin: let me know how it goes at the doctor.
Suze

kckman

Good luck suze. a day at a time you can do that. keep us posted.

3legacy

(((((((((((Suze ))))))))))
You posted- You did it yesterday, you can do it again today. Support is still here. We can do together that which we could not do alone.

Thanks for helping to keep US sober!



((((((((Suze :35: )))))))))),
Kiss Heart of Spirit

Three Legs

Tenzin

Good morning Suze. Yesterday was a difficult day, fantastic composure that you got through it without drinking. One moment at a time these sober days will be built.

(((HUGS)))

Tenzin

I truly like the doctor I saw this morning. This is a rare thing as I'm typically a difficult patient who avoids doctors/hospitals at all costs. We spoke at length. He told me moderation would not be an option for me, which I pretty much knew (since moderation has failed for me time after time). He started me on 3 medications for the detox:

50mg Naltrexone, 100mg Amantadine, and 25 mg Chlordiazepoxide.

I wish I'd had some weed left so I could take the edge off my hangover. Then again, the weed is but one part in this viscious cycle. I caved last night and dove into a bottle of Jack Daniels. Haven't eaten since 11 am yesterday, still can't bring myself to eat much.

The doc had me do some other tests as well, his initial assessment (pending further evaluation tomorrow and in the days to come) is that I'm Manic Depressive and/or have Bipolar Disorder. It is his belief that my pattern of addiction is related to one or both of these aforementioned illnesses.

The next few days are gonig to be tough.

2dayzmuse

(((Tenzin)))

Welcome back, I know it must have been difficult to come back an admit you caved last night. I admire your honesty. Today is a new day and let's take it from there. I'm glad the Doc visit went well and your medical health is being addressed. That is a big step in achieving recovery. :35: The Naltrexone should help reduce the alcohol cravings. Good luck with day one and I'm glad you got to see the support in action in helping Suze through day one. The same can work for you. Grab on to the support offered and check out some other support groups, such as AA. I know for me, it has helped me immensly. Without it may not be here today. Good luck and stay strong, you can get through this. You have taken the first step, and tommorrow another step and so on. Then we must talk about your spooky avatar. Eeek...maybe you would consider making an avatar of your own image. The link is floating around here somewhere. It's kinda fun and let's others have a peek of the person on the otherside of the computer. Another suggestion, model your avatar of yourself, when your having a better day. :joke: All joking aside, I'm glad your here, you inspire me and your story will keep me sober today. With that I thank you. Peace be with you...

Take care,

Talia

Tenzin

((Talia))

That avatar is a picture of me. It was taken this morning when I woke up at 4 am.

The medication has been in my system for about an hour now. My appetite returned and I was able to eat a sandwich with no seemingly ill effects. The hangover is just about gone (very unexpected bonus there). I feel very calm and serene. I'm not shaking as I usually would be right about now, but I'll attribute that to the meds (one of them is labeled as a Parkinson's med). I'm still feeling a little foggy, and I'm having some minor dexterity issues (can't seem to type), but I feel very calm nonetheless. Despite not feeling ill, I have absolutely zero desire to have a drink . In fact, I'm so calm that I could close my eyes and go to sleep at this very moment (a little creepy since I'm sitting at my desk at work).

Thank you for your indiscriminate support and compassion. ((HUGS))

How are you doing today Suze?
((HUGS 4 SUZE))

elvisbabygirl

hey i am only 34 days sober and i totally understand the shakey,long sweaty, crappy nights of detox.that added with a broken heart and wondering what "he" was doing really sent me spinning....i knew what he was doing, he was getting drunk, while i was trying to stay sober.

just to make myself presentable to get to work was hard enough (still hard). i still have many sleepeless nights wondering "what happened, i am smart, educated, a professional,a good loving woman,faithful ,kind,etc...." i am still absolutely dumbfounded at how alcohol grabbed a hold of me.

i am going five minutes at a time. i go to a.a. and i have a sponsor. this really helps.....and suze you can take your kid to the meetings. no one is going to bother you. go to the womens meetings, many of them have children.
you do not have to ell them what you do for a living. believe me. i rarely tell anyone what i do for a living. i could lose my job if they knew i had this issue.

hang in there both of you....tenzin, tell jack daniels to go to hell(he spent many nights at my place also "jack and cubes" goes down smooth until the body starts to reject it ), and suze run to an a.a. meeting after work instead of the liquor store. they start around 6pm where i live. that hour between 5pm and 6pm is the longest hour ever...you can do it.

i was going to four meetings a day the first week. i had no where else to go, except back to me "pals" at the local pub. i miss them very much. i miss my boyfriend very much. all the laughter...all the shared moments. i made a decision to regain "my life" so i won't lose my job, my life.

fridays are my freak out day. facing the weekends without a cocktail and a hot(but drunk) boyfriend(who i adore still) sends me rocking and reeling!!!!

we can do this .......tenzin and suze. i will keep checking this thread to keep up with you two. i am hanging on by my toenails and five minutes at a time.

give me an update....this stuff helps me very much.

2dayzmuse

(((Suze Tenzin Elvisbabygirl))) hang in there guys you can do this, I know you can. Others have and so can you.

Suze where are you girl? Hmmmmm...I'm getting a little concerned. I hope you remembered to take a different route home from work this evening. No matter what happens today we're here to support you. Take care of yourself and stay safe.

Hurry back,

Talia

caligirl

Tenzin

Hi all. Still here. I've been in a daze since I started taking the meds this morning. It was difficult to stay focused at work, but once at home I've been in and out of consciousness (sleep). I'm nauseous, and I hurt. The medicine helps me sleep for now, so I think I'll return to doing just that.

((Suze Elvisbabygirl))

Hope you are both doing well. Stay strong and remain courageous.

(((HUGS)))

2dayzmuse

Could be from drinking, or could be from your body adjusting to the new meds. Hard to say at this point. For now rest, tylenol (?) and some pink stuff for the nausea. Sleep well :sleeping:

Tenzin

I got plenty of sleep, which is a good thing. I did not drink yesterday, which is a great thing.

kckman

Suze, , how are you doing? why not check in?

Tenzin glad to hear you got needed sleep. great job on the 24 hours. Good luck today. You did it yesterday you can do it again today.

elvisbabygirl

tenzin and suze....

tenzin congrats on one more night...

5 minutes at a time.

suze?? where are you???

we can all hang in there together.....



i am praying for you suze....

2dayzmuse

Tenzin

The end of day 2 approaches and I prepare to retire for the night. Last night's dreams were, ehm, well, not fun. :bigeyes: However, I did manage to sleep fairly well and look forward to doing some more of that, hopefully without the bad dreams. :bigeyes:

Today is my second dry day. My follow-up appointment was good. It was good to see the doc, I just get the feeling he has my best interest in mind (I'm learning to trust doctors slowly but surely). He's indicated he believes I have bipolar disorder and I've been self-medicating for years. I wouldn't be surprised (I have always felt a distinct duality within me, just figured it was a Gemini thing) but I'm too hazy to contemplate that right now. Only 3 more days of the groggy-pills. I look forward to reclaiming some of my lucidity (and dexterity). Until then, I am very grateful that I'm sedated enough to be able to bypass much of the physical pain of the withdrawal.

Peace, love, and big hugs everyone.

Where are you Suze? We miss you.

(((HUGS)))

Tenzin

Dry day 3 is starting. Wish I felt great but I don't. I'm getting a cold, eew. Two full days without a drink.

How are you Suze?

2dayzmuse