alphaomega

My last extended time of continuous sobriety was 8 months long. It was a raging case of PAWS that took me back to the bottle. I admit, in full earnest, that when I took that first drink, my brain finally felt "normal" for the first time in 8 months. I remember deeply sighing and looking at my husband as saying how I couldn't believe how the medicine had become the poison. And visa versa.

It was an AH HA moment.

Some days are bad, most are good, but my brain still feels sick. It might just always be that way as I was born to an addict and alcoholic and my brain is chemically and indelibly altered. My "normal" might be vastly different that most alcoholics. I also drank alcoholically, truthfully, since I was very young. Very. very. Young.

I'm asking those that have extended sobriety to share their experiences as far as timelines go. I know that with every passing month, things seem to straighten out in tiny increments. But I'm seeking knowledge to protect myself on all sides.

In your opinion, was the year mark when the fog REALLY lifted, once and for all ?

cardoon

All I know is the longer I'm clean and sober the better I feel, the more productive I am and the more self confidence I have. I mean it's really been pretty darn terrific. I even wondered to myself this week how many consecutive years that can happen. I can't wait to find out! Good luck Alpha. Don't drink.

FreeOwl

I was really struggling at 6,8,9 even ten months. Lot of emotional churn and sleeplessness and mental fog and confusion hit me. Felt like things were getting worse and harder when I felt they ought to be getting better.

I dug into the steps, focused on healthy living choices, kept going to therapy for emotional processing....

When I hit my year things were feeling a lot better and now at over 14 months I really feel like I am a Sober Person... And it keeps getting better.

doggonecarl

I felt much better at two years than I did at one. And now, with over four years without a drink, I'm not sure I was "normal" or baseline at two years sober.

IOAA2

Hi.

We all have so many backgrounds and experiences with alcohol what I say is strictly about me.

When I finally surrendered and chose the sober path of AA I became very active and went to many meetings where associating with sober people we learn to live a sober life. I was lucky because after the first month or so I’ve never had a desire to drink again. I attribute that to working the program and positive thinking as opposed to thinking about drinking.
Many years later I’m not one bit sorry as to the choice I made.

BE WELL

ScottFromWI

I would say it definitely took me at least a year to really feel like things were getting back into place. If nothing else, the entire first calendar year was filled with "Firsts". First sober birthday...first sober 4th of july...first sober hunting camp...first sober christmas...etc. Each of those events presented different challenges.

Now just a little into my second year I would say that I still have moments where i don't feel "normal"...but quite frankly I don't know that I even know what "normal" is. I literally drank every day for my entire adult life up until 2 years ago, so I"m still learning how things are supposed to work.

Having said all that, my life now is in a whole different plane of "Better" than at any time during my drinking and I never, ever plan on going back.

Andante

Hi AO,

I’ve struggled with numerous and persistent PAWS-type issues as well. If I compare how I feel and function today with how I felt and functioned when I first quit two years ago, and then I imagine how things might be today had I never become a drunk in the first place, I would say I probably have another three years to go before reaching a "baseline."

I’m guessing that's not likely what you wanted to hear, but I recognize that my experience is probably an outlier. Most people get better sooner than I did.

One thing’s for sure: as long as I (or you) stay sober, there’s at least a chance that things will get continue to get better, even if the improvement is by fits and starts and is at times imperceptible. If I drink, there is NO chance.

Pondlady

I too think the first year, is marking many firsts. I found it hard to pass champagne at Christmas, margaritas in the summer etc. I found the second year, less exhilarating , more having to learn to live sober permanently and understand why I drank in the first place.

For me, it gets easier as time goes on and I've faced difficult situations without drinking.

Dee74

Everyones different, but my second year was way better than my first.

Nevertheless I improved steadily in that first year month by month

I look back and weigh 30 years of drugs and booze against 1 year of initial recovery and figure I got off pretty lightly

VikingGF

I'm on my second serious effort at sobriety, my first lasting only 4 months. This time is easier, but who knows what will happen tomorrow. I noticed a couple of things in those 4 months, though. The first month was kind of hellacious. I was moody, tired and couldn't keep a thought in my head. Oh, and so angry. I sure didn't feel normal, but then, I have never felt normal and doubt I ever will. I would be glad to not feel like crap.

Months two and three were relatively easy and filled with those firsts everyone was talking about. They lifted me right up and I sailed along. Month 4 found me filled with doubt and the rage returned. In retrospect, that was the time to reach out and find myself a therapist. But I missed the boat that time around.

I went back to drinking rather easily, like I never really stopped. I lied to myself that it was fine, I was in control, blah, blah, blah. Still, I was sober for Christmas vacation at my parents, and it was no effort to be so. That is when I realized- I drink when I'm lonely. I was surrounded by family and actually happy- no drinks needed, thank you.

Came home, and went right back to it. Stopped again 2 weeks ago, and now I feel pretty strong, but not normal. Never normal. In fact, after 2 weeks of not even thinking of having a drink, I noticed yesterday the thought popped into my head. Also, my concentration for the past three days has been simply terrible. But, I have been here before and I never want to ever be here again, so I will just ride it out.

I wonder if our need to feel "normal" is just another rattle of the AV. "If you aren't normal now, let's just have a drink. Why not? This not drinking isn't making a difference after all."

It's very possible none of this is helpful, AO. But at least you know you aren't alone in the struggle and I am out here, fighting right along with you.

Great thread and thanks to those with a lot of sober time for sharing with those of us who want to be just like you.

AlexEmk

This discussion is right on target for me tonight... soon 6 months sober (in 2 weeks) and I'm struggling more then ever... I go over questions that I thought where settled in my head, obviously they are not! I don't feel to have a drink much, it's not the taste or the social life or anything, it's the relax mood that it puts in my head that I miss so much... it's the little buzz that makes me forget my life and the stress that I'm living...

I feel like I need something else, like I need something... period! aaaawwwwhhh!! Why can't I just drink like everybody else... why am I like that?

I'm not going to have a drink, I'm so proud of myself that I haven't touch the bottle for so long... but when I started to sober-up, I was looking at the 6 months mark like a time where I would be better, like the battle was going to be easier... I guess I was wrong! Thank god I didn't knew that from the beginning...

thanks for listening and sorry, english is not my mother language

MIRecovery

I have heard that it takes 5 years before the effects of alcohol completely clears our systems. This seems to be more or less true for me.

It is rather hard to tell because I had to make so many fundamental and systemic changes that figuring out what is normal is shooting at a moving target.

In reality learning how to live a new life is much more challenging than the not drinking side effects

LBrain

Thanks for posting this AO, and thanks for the responses. I have the same sober date as FeeOwl. But different backgrounds and paths. I'm about where FO and ScottinWI are.

LBrain

I think this sums it up.

thenewguy

I'm at a year and a half, and while a *lot* of things have improved (sleep, less procrastination), there are also a few "sticking points" (anxiety, stress management) that are taking longer to resolve.

I think the issue is that we expect things to move along at a certain timetable, and we get frustrated when they don't. Alcohol was the ultimate in instant gratification for me; it could wipe out stress and anxiety in a flash. So, we expect other things to move along in a similar manner. Sometimes we just have to be patient with the process because our bodies and minds operate on their own timetable.

My avatar is Sir Edmund Hillary; he was the first human to scale Mount Everest...one step at a time.

Eddiebuckle

I don't know that it much matters how long it takes. The undeniable fact is that if I drink today I will go back to where I started and the only way to get better is to not drink today, regardless when my last drink was.

Turn the question around - if common experience indicated that it took ten years for the fog to lift, would it make todays sobriety any less valuable?

retiredusaf

Everyone is different. I have 4 months and feel pretty damn good.

DrunkenDonuts

This sounds like a bit of a fallacy to me designed to make long term sober people feel better. Hear me out for just a little bit:
How do you know what normal feels like? Do you remember what you felt like 5 or 10 or 20 years ago when you started to drink?

Some of you may be thinking.. "Ahhh, but we can get medical tests done to tell us that our bodies are acting at a normal level again!" Which is true. You can.

But - Now think back a bit here fellow booze-hounds - Did you sit down one day and think "You know what? I think I'll become an alcoholic! Better get down to the doctor's and get my baseline liver function tests done, so that if I decide on a career change later on and stop drinking, I can then know when I return to normal!"

I didn't. And unless you have incredible foresight and you're a sucker for punishment and let's face it - a poor decision making process in that you chose alcoholism, then you didn't have that baseline medical check done.

I am being a little bit of a smarty pants here because I have stopped since Jan 28 this year and I'm feeling good. I don't want my achievement belittled by you guys and girls who are better at being sober longer than me

Dee74

Not sure why any of us would lie DD lol.

I rediscovered a me I'd totally forgotten about...I wasn't expecting that at all...but it's great

D

DrunkenDonuts

--Edit #2 -- Also not saying people are lying. Am saying the idea of a baseline is a fallacy.

I think I read another one of your posts in which you said you learned to be a new you. I could be mistaken as you are a prolific poster and I am a lazy bugger.

Nevertheless, I doubt any of us return to being the same as we once were. It's life. No one does. So there is no baseline except that which you accept yourself - And I'm choosing for now to believe that I'm fabulous right now after only a short time