MariahGayle

Glad you are here Tushar & made a decision to stop drinking. You are not alone in this & are among friends here. Be kind to yourself as you would a friend who is hurting.

neferkamichael

Tushar, when I quit drinking all the guilt and shamed vanished, it's a good feeling, rootin for ya.

Dee74

Welcome Tushar - you've made a great start

D

ChgoReason

It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is most adaptable to change. - Darwin.

You gotta change your behavior, if you wanna see results (and feel better.) Change what you do, and how you do it, and your mindset will follow. Not the other way around.

Mountainmanbob

Sometimes our sleep is not the best.
A small price to pay for sobriety.

I stayed up many a night
and still don't sleep that well.

But, I have been sober for a long time.
That's what is of the most importance.

MM

Tushar

Day 1 is over. Did not have any drink today. Going forward I want to identify my trigger moments. I know I have the urge when come home from work, or when I am cooking especially on weekends. I need to watch out these times. My drinking is mostly alone and in hiding, so nobody actually knows how much I am drinking. But eventually everyone figures out from my drunken behavior. I think the key is for me to not make the next purchase of alcohol. Social drinking few and far between. Need to stick to soda or water for those occasions. Well now time to try to sleep.

Tushar

I think the shame for my drunken behavior actually kept me motivated to not to have a drink. I hope going forward I can keep it this way and stay motivated. Do not want to go back to the vicious cycles.

AddictGuy

Hey Tushar,

I just work up too d^$%$m early due to my sleep issues but as I have come to do now, I wake up with SR and my tea. And I just happened to be reading along on your thread and here it looks as if you have written here lately. It's 3:30 am here but then that would make it earlier in CA.

Anyway, I just wanted to give you a shout out to encourage you to hang in there with your new sober adventure. Everyone is going to be proud of you but mostly you will be proud of yourself. No more staggering, slurring, stupid b*******t. Great.

And congrats on day one. Nothing like a day one. And it's the only way to get to a day 2 or a day 2000. Day one's are precious stuff.

AddictGuy

. . . just "woke" up. (When am I going to learn to always proofread?)

Tushar

Did not sleep well last night, but I was expecting that. But I still feel better than waking up after a night of drinking. Now Day 2 begins.

ReadyOrNot123

The shame is debilitating (is that how you spell it?) This is my Day 1. It's so not worth it.

Tushar

Yes, that's how you spell it and feel it too.

Tushar

Good luck to you! Hope we both beat this for good.

ReadyOrNot123

I hope so too.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum Tushar!! You can do this!!

Tushar

Day 2 is over. No drink today also. Did not even feel like one. I am still feeling disgusted about my weekend drunken episode to not even wanted touch another one. I hope this resolve will last as time goes on. Last few times I felt like this I stopped for few days but picked up again. This time I really hit a low point. Also, posting here this time around hopefully keep my focus.

Sebastian84

Great work Tushar. It is early evening where I'm at and my second day is approaching an end as well.

The disgust you feel might be used as a good tool as well. One thing I did towards the end of my binge is force myself to open up Microsoft Word when I was at my drunkest and darkest. Though I barely had the strength (my body was that ravaged), I would type out my thoughts and feelings of remorse, self-loathing, and my desires. Over the past two days any time I've felt like walking to the bottle shop to buy booze, I've opened up that document and read through it. It's the saddest thing I've ever read, often leaves me sobbing a bit, and shocks the desire for a drink right out of me.

Maybe writing down some of the behaviours and experiences you feel ashamed of, and referring back to them at any time of weakness, might help?

Anyhow, congratulations!

Seb.

Tushar

Thank you Sebastian for the suggestion. I will write some them down. It will be one more tool use. I need all the help this time around.

Tushar

Today is my Day 3. First day at work after I quit. My guilty feelings are still keeping me away from any thought of drinking. On the other hand, I need to focus and get back to work and get pass the guilt, but afraid that will make me slip. Just read about AVRT last night. Seems like a simple but effective tool. Several time I went through the exercise of saying "I will never drink again ever, and I will never change my mind", I did get mixed emotions both ways. However, the feeling for not drinking is so strong now that the negative feelings does not sways me the other way. I hope this stays this way.

Notmyrealname

It's a lot less worry in the long run. If you stick with it I guarantee you'll have a moment where you look back and say, jeez how did I ever live like that?