Serenidad

YES! My life is unmanageable AND miserable when I drink!!! :-(

Serenidad

My disease is really F-ing with me but NOT NOW!!! After reading every single reply on this thread I no longer question it! That's what I hoped would happen when I started this thread. Now when my AV starts whispering in my ear again, I can just re-read this post. Thank you everyone!

Hawks

I got to the same place and had to let my sponsor manage things for a bit.

Horrible thought right?

But the thing is, by doing that, he helped me get connected to a new manager, through taking the steps.

sponsor and the AA program

AnvilheadII

I concur Hawks....I realized I didn't know zip about how to stay sober, so I let the other members of AA who had at least one more day sober than I did be my guide. I was fortunate to have an AA hall close to my house, with 3 meetings a day, the nooner, the 5 and the 7:30 and I was often at all of them. daily. on the weekends if we'd go to a sober dance, i'd turn over my keys and ride with someone else. I got the hall early to help set up and make coffee, I stayed late, cleaning up, emptying ashtrays (yeah we smoked in meetings back then), i'd bring my 3 year old with a soft pack of activities and she'd keep herself entertained beside me, when I started chairing meetings I let her bang the gavel.....I got a sponsor and worked the steps like a madwoman.....if they had told me to paint myself green, stand on my head and sign the star spangled banner, i'd have done that.

matilda123

Serenidad, popping in here late but, yes, I drank just like that. i drank alone and drank half a bottle of wine a couple nights a week. Sometimes more and more often; sometimes less and less often.

No DUIs, no lost lovers, no lost jobs (although it has only been in my sobriety that I have really started to come to grips with how poorly I was doing my job). People looked at me and thought I was "successful."

But here is the question that I've asked myself (and maybe to ask yourself too)? Why should we wait for those things to happen? SR is filled with people who have graciously shared their painful stories and the horrific canyons of sorrow that alcohol can plunge us down. You know, too, that you feel so much better when you don't drink. Are you an alcoholic? Probably, like many of us, you are. Normal drinkers don't think about moderating, and they don't even binge once a week either. But in the end it doesn't matter. What matters is that what you were doing before isn't working now and you need a plan and a path to move forward.

Sending you warrior woman strength, my friend, to kick that AV where it hurts. xo

matilda123

Ha! Sounds like you already did give it a kick!! Good for you!!

LBrain

Carlotta! That about sums it up right there.

Donna57

When an alcoholic takes a drink, they can't guarantee what will happen next. All attempts at controlled drinking will inevitably fail. So you may not drink every day and sometimes you only have three or four drinks with no problem. But eventually you will overdo it and drink yourself into a blackout. Chapter 3 in the book Alcoholics Anonymous says, "Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly." Can you have just 1 drink per day for a week? I know I couldn't. One drink just kicks in the craving for more.

Alwyshope12

Serenidad, don't be fooled by the voice in your head. It had control of us usually for years, sometimes decades.

drinking, no matter how little, will lead to worse and worse circumstances. I have never met a successful recovered person who can drink, and I have never met a alcoholic who can manage their life and maintain happiness and sanity. It just doesn't work for some of us! That being said, it can be a lot of work to get our lives back, finding new activities and immersing ourselves in them.

I wish for you all the serenity that sobriety brings to us!

Dee74

Re-reading your old posts would be a great way to shut your AV up serenidad

D

Dee74

I kept moving the goalposts on 'manageable'...I paid my bills (late but still), I paid my rent (so, I'll eat noodles this week...), I lost of a lot of friends and lovers (screw 'em, they don't get me) and jobs (oh well he was an a-hole anyway)

drinking me would call that manageable. Sober me sees how painful and sad that really was.

maybe some re-reading of old posts would help you too JimdiGriz?

d

least

I questioned my condition for a long time, too long, and kept on drinking and wondering why. Then I finally stopped asking questions and just acted. I quit drinking and didn't look back or ask questions. I acted instead of thinking. That was over five years ago. If I can do it, so can you. Stop over thinking and just act your way into sobriety.

tate9685

Yes. I drank like you. Maybe one day a week or both Friday and Saturday. Or one weekday. Could I and did I stop after 2,3 or 4 drinks. Sure. Did I want to keep drinking? Most definitely, and 95% of the time I did keep drinking. I didn't always blackout either. I drove drunk. I missed work. I went home with strangers and did other drugs and other dangerous things I would never do in my right mind. I fell down ALOT. I drank all night and slept all the next day. I became a bad mom. I began to hate myself and at times have tried to overdose while drunk. I've been hospitalized and jailed. AND my AV says the same things to me. The longer I go without drinking, the less I hear from the evil trickster. Some days it won't shut up. But it is ALWAYS has one goal. To get me to drink. I'm alcoholic and any recreational drug leads to destruction and death. Hope that helps you.

Carlotta

I hope you are ok and did not listen to that lying AV.
Check base with us when you log back on.

Jsbodhi

I drank exactly the way you did, if you can't put it away and not think about it at all, theres a problem. I know I'm an alcoholic, just at the beginning stages, but alcoholic none the less.
If I keep it up, I'll be a daily drinker, maybe not for years, but I still will end up there

Dee74

How's it going serenidad?

D

Buggirl

I can really relate to this! I felt the same when I first went to AA and felt a bit of a fraud as I am only 35 and was a highly functioning alcoholic who could go without it for weeks at a time. Problem was, I craved it and obsessed about it!

It was when I drank and what I was like and the fact that I couldn't stop once I started that led me to know I had an issue and I guess I have always known. I think it is how you feel and what you do not the amount of time you do it for.

I had more incidents etc in the short time I drank than those who had drank all day every day. Yes I didn't drink a bottle of vodka before I left the house every day, but could down a bottle, of JDs in one night on a weekend and all he'll would break loose!

It's how you are and what you want from life I guess.

Only you know what an issue it was and as I have said all along, it has to be that you want to be you again! Only do it for you and don't compare yourself to my others!