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Drank tonight

Old 01-21-2015, 07:20 PM
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Drank tonight

Hi all, was at 21 days today and then went to a dinner with friends and had close to 3 glasses of wine. Not drunk and was able to drive home without being tempted to get more, but I'm disappointed in myself and the fact I have to start back at day 1...
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Old 01-21-2015, 07:24 PM
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Thought I could just drink water while everyone else was drinking wine but I guess i was wrong.
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Old 01-21-2015, 07:28 PM
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Today was day 4 for me today. I had never gone this long in over 25 years. 21 days seems like an eternity away.
You stumbled, get up dust yourself off and remember your goal!!
You can do it, best of luck!!!
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Old 01-21-2015, 07:28 PM
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Dinner out with friends can be trigging for many people, leharris, most especially in early sobriety. It might be good to avoid those situations until you are further along in your sobriety.

Rooting for you. Don't forget SR is here for you 24/7/365.
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Old 01-21-2015, 07:29 PM
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Yes it's hard not to take that first one. But start again.
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Old 01-21-2015, 07:29 PM
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Thank you! Mad at myself but I did it before so I can do it again....starting day 1 tomorrow
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Old 01-21-2015, 07:30 PM
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It's easy to underestimate the power of addiction - but you're back and ready to try again and thats a good thing leharris

did your friends know you were trying to quit?

D
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Old 01-21-2015, 07:30 PM
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Originally Posted by leharris111 View Post

I'm disappointed in myself and the fact I have to start back at day 1...
been there and done that a few times (many years ago)

keep trying and keep coming back

MM
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Old 01-21-2015, 07:32 PM
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Dee, these friends did not know and I think that's one reason i felt tempted to drink.
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Old 01-21-2015, 07:32 PM
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Originally Posted by leharris111 View Post
Thought I could just drink water while everyone else was drinking wine but I guess i was wrong.
It's ok ! Get restarted again. You did 21 days and you will will do way more. It probably is too soon for you to go out with friends. Did they encourage you ? I know when friends do that it is really hard. Maybe get seltzer with lemon next time and it will look like a drink too. Good job stopping and heading home.😄
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Old 01-21-2015, 07:34 PM
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that is when I ended my previous 10 months of sobriety. I wasn't expecting it, one minute I was okay with my pop.. visiting with my aunt and mom over dinner (in a pub doesn't help much) and then next thing I am ordering a glass of wine... and then another...13 months later here I am starting over again. Its okay though, now is all that matters.
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Old 01-21-2015, 07:43 PM
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"Not drunk and was able to drive home without being tempted to get more..."

WE tend to be alcoholic and don't "feel" drunk.

I did a random search and put in that you had about 12 ounces of wine at 20% alcohol content in 2 hours with a body weight of 150 pounds and the results are this:

"In MOST and probably ALL states you would be considered intoxicated and arrested for DUI or DWI."

Just cause we don't "feel drunk" doesn't mean our reactions are normal. I'm glad you arrived home safely! (and everyone else on the road)

http://www.csgnetwork.com/bloodalcolevelcalc.html
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Old 01-21-2015, 07:53 PM
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I used to not tell friends so I could keep the option to drink socially around them again. Or, drink to blackout around them, whichever.

This time was the first time I told people I don't drink anymore? Why did I tell people? Because this time was different. I knew I was done and wanted to burn that bridge that would have allowed me to drink again without question.

You can do this.
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Old 01-21-2015, 08:09 PM
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Thank you all! You all have great points and wisdom. Yes, I probably was drunk-very stupid! And yes I agree that in the back of your mind, there is something that prevents you from telling people so that you can drink down the road. Also, I'm somewhat ashamed to tell people I can't control my drinking so I have to completely abstain. Well now I know in the future 3 weeks is still too soon! I even thought Bout canceling today so that I wouldn't be tempted but didn't want to be rude...
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Old 01-21-2015, 08:46 PM
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I found that telling people I don't drink anymore was much less dramatic than I expected. There was no standing on a podium and declaring through tears: I am an alcoholic!

It truly was more if a nah, not tonight, I'm not drinking or i'm not drinking anymore. there was of course a bit of a white elephant in the room because they knew I drank way too much and way too often.

This was followed by actions and simply not drinking.

A few months in, I actually told them I do not drink anymore and said it firmly. Looking back, there was no reason not to do this right away.
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Old 01-21-2015, 09:15 PM
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leharris, every setback is an opportunity to learn. To come out stronger the next time around.

Ask yourself how you can take your disappointment and use it to your advantage. Let it drive you onward!

More power to you!
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Old 01-22-2015, 01:10 AM
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Originally Posted by leharris111 View Post
Thank you all! You all have great points and wisdom. Yes, I probably was drunk-very stupid! And yes I agree that in the back of your mind, there is something that prevents you from telling people so that you can drink down the road. Also, I'm somewhat ashamed to tell people I can't control my drinking so I have to completely abstain. Well now I know in the future 3 weeks is still too soon! I even thought Bout canceling today so that I wouldn't be tempted but didn't want to be rude...
Leharris,

AA's first step: "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable."

For a very long time, I was able to convince myself that I did not have a problem drinking. I considered the way I drank a lifestyle choice, probably more than I should but otherwise harmless. Drinking was how I dealt with life's hardships and celebrations, it was how I socialized, how I wound down each day. It was a part of my identity.

Giving up alcohol required that I face and challenge all those stories I made up about myself and alcohol. And it required that I pay attention to the anxious feelings when I was faced with a situation that would put me in harms way. I couldn't go down the bread aisle in the grocery store for months... because that's where they stocked the beer. I stopped playing golf with the same group of guys, because inevitably everyone drank. I even took a break from seeing family for the first 9 months or so - everyone in my family drinks, not as much as I did, but every gathering had alcohol, and I couldn't deal with it.

These are all symptoms of powerlessness. I could acknowledge them to myself, but it was hard to change all those things: what would people think? In retrospect, most people didn't notice or didn't make any fuss at all. But if I didn't change those things, I doubt I would have stayed sober. My sobriety wasn't strong enough to withstand certain situations. Now, there are very few places I cannot go if I have good reason to be there.

I think most people in early sobriety know when they are skating on thin ice - our instincts associated with alcohol and drinking are pretty strong. Recognize the feelings when you have them, and pay attention to them: they are your warning signs. Give yourself permission to be "rude" - and leave when you are uncomfortable. Those people worthy of your time will not mind, those who are offended are not worth worrying about.

This is ultimately a life or death situation for you. Yes, it's "only a glass of wine" but if you are anything like me, I never only had one. And one nights drinking ultimately led to the next. This is how addiction works, inexorably leading us to cross every line we ever told ourselves we would never cross.

It took me a very long time to get to the point of accepting this truth about me and my drinking. The lies that kept me trapped in addiction were primarily the ones I told myself. Sobriety is about facing and owning those lies, and having the courage to be "rude" when necessary. After all, it's not just a glass of wine we are talking about... it's our life.
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Old 01-22-2015, 02:33 AM
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Go at things again!! You can do this, lesson learned so don't beat yourself up!!
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