Labels and ignorance
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
Labels are just that, labels. We've all given them to other people as shorthand or to understand or explain something we don't understand ourselves. They can hurt.
Mothers in law are also another one of those things we abide by, sometimes painfully, sometimes not. My own mother in law is a pain in the neck as well so I understand. I keep distance from her. Most mothers in law (not mine, however) are trying to protect their children from hurt so perhaps this is where her sting is coming from. Concentrate on keeping the course. 73 days is great.
I was very thin skinned early in sobriety. Everything and anything had the capacity to wound or anger me. It's part of the process. As you continue onwards it becomes easier.
Mothers in law are also another one of those things we abide by, sometimes painfully, sometimes not. My own mother in law is a pain in the neck as well so I understand. I keep distance from her. Most mothers in law (not mine, however) are trying to protect their children from hurt so perhaps this is where her sting is coming from. Concentrate on keeping the course. 73 days is great.
I was very thin skinned early in sobriety. Everything and anything had the capacity to wound or anger me. It's part of the process. As you continue onwards it becomes easier.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
LOL. Steve Miller Band - The Joker 2015 extended version?
^This
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I've been a muso, an academic, a partner, a brother, a teacher, a moderator...I've also been a cripple a stutterer, an alcoholic, an addict, a screw up, a figure of ridicule, an idiot, a no-hoper and someone to be pitied.
I prefer the labels I gave myself - the others are simply not a true reflection of who I am
D
I prefer the labels I gave myself - the others are simply not a true reflection of who I am
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: nj
Posts: 146
Originally Posted by upminer
Why do people insist on labeling others when they have zero clue what they are going through? My mother in law has been back to calling me an "alcoholic", "drunk", and "recovering alcoholic" yet the woman is clueless to what alcoholism entails. She doesn't understand why I don't just "go to AA and get fixed" (her words) so, when I asked her what she knew about AA (fishing to see if she even knew about the 12 steps or the spirituality of it) she just said it's the only way you're going to quit.....I walked away. I don't care about whether I'm an alcoholic or not all I care about is not drinking and changing my habits. I hold nothing against AA it just wasn't for me when I attended a couple of meetings early on. I haven't ruled it out but I'm not looking back into it either. I've got 73 days. I'm even cutting back on the crutch now. Things are looking great but you get knocked down quick when you hear people who know nothing try to apply a one size fits all label on you....
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Imagine being 'gay' in the 60s and 70s - and 80s, 90s... Or black in the 40,50,60...
What a big difference from then to now - still not fully accepted by many. And the labels that went/go along with it.
The thing with "alcoholics" is that "we" are still a closet group of people. There is shame that goes along with it. We are afraid to tell employers we have a drink problem - see the many threads on advice about what to tell employers. Most popular answer: Keep it to yourself.
Many go to 'anonymous' groups to work out their problem. Out of sight out of mind.
There are no advocacy groups for alcoholics. We have no "rights" generally speaking.
There is still debating in the medical research field about whether or not it is a disease.
It is a social problem that is buried because the powers that be don't want to deal with it - it's not glamorous and it doesn't get votes.
There is a movie out there somewhere: The Anonymous People
If more folks got in line with this way of thinking, something might be done. But I'm afraid we are a few generations too early for any real strides in that direction.
So the best you can do is to be proud of yourself that you are overcoming one of the most difficult problems to overcome. And don't worry about what others think - it's unhealthy.
Dee summed it up briefly. It's in ourselves and our own attitude. We don't have a champion like a Dr. Martin Luther King to take up our cause. So until that person arrives, we must make the best of it - sometimes alone.
A cliche' often heard is "I can't worry about what other people think about me." Something along that line. And that is the truth.
What a big difference from then to now - still not fully accepted by many. And the labels that went/go along with it.
The thing with "alcoholics" is that "we" are still a closet group of people. There is shame that goes along with it. We are afraid to tell employers we have a drink problem - see the many threads on advice about what to tell employers. Most popular answer: Keep it to yourself.
Many go to 'anonymous' groups to work out their problem. Out of sight out of mind.
There are no advocacy groups for alcoholics. We have no "rights" generally speaking.
There is still debating in the medical research field about whether or not it is a disease.
It is a social problem that is buried because the powers that be don't want to deal with it - it's not glamorous and it doesn't get votes.
There is a movie out there somewhere: The Anonymous People
If more folks got in line with this way of thinking, something might be done. But I'm afraid we are a few generations too early for any real strides in that direction.
So the best you can do is to be proud of yourself that you are overcoming one of the most difficult problems to overcome. And don't worry about what others think - it's unhealthy.
Dee summed it up briefly. It's in ourselves and our own attitude. We don't have a champion like a Dr. Martin Luther King to take up our cause. So until that person arrives, we must make the best of it - sometimes alone.
A cliche' often heard is "I can't worry about what other people think about me." Something along that line. And that is the truth.
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