JadedGirl

Thanku and well done on 8 days, that's fab!! I kinda drink at home alone most of the time but get the embarrassing bit. Manage to post things online or drunken texts (cringe). I'm so glad I found here and aren't doing it alone! 😊 xx

sugarbear1

If you are drinking nightly, you really should see a doctor for a proper detox.

Alcohol detox can be lethal.

Anewyear

Welcome jade girl! I saw similarities with your story. I was drinking a bottle a day for the last twelve years never taking more than a day or two break and not too often( 11days sober)
Many times feeling embarrassed knowing my kids saw me drinking wine at night and falling asleep on the couch, falling, stumbling, dropping /breaking a glass, spilling wine often, talking about everything and nothing and making no sense, waking up with no idea what I said or who I yelled at or offended. I decided now it's time for me to stop for me, my health, my kids, and my entire family. I always believed be the example for your kids you want them to follow( I always did with relationships, etc) but not drinking. Sadly hard to tell your teenager don't drink when they see you sloppy drunk every night. Kind of hypocritical.
So I hope you decide to take a path for you and your daughter... You both deserved it!
Look forward to talking to you here!

Tilikum

Hi Jaded Girl,
I see a lot of similarities in my drinking patterns to yours. Primarily I am a binge drinker, I go out and never know when to stop and have ended up in all sorts of dangerous situations but I used to drink a lot in the house too - mostly wine - a bottle or 2 every few days - like you I would have an excuse why it was needed or that it was a reward for not drinking for a couple of days. I have a job that I have managed to keep for years however my boss is aware of my issues - I'm grateful I have been treated compassionately. My new year got off to an awful start with drinking - I am now 2 days sober and really want to stop now - my friends are also telling me I have to -it feels unfair that some people can drink in moderation and some have to stop completely but for our own health and for our families we will be doing the right thing by stopping. It is not too late for us. I used to worry that I was too shy and boring hence the drinking but I am starting to finally see that shy and boring is way better than being drunk and wasting weekends worrying about what was said and done in a black out. I am new here too and am finding it really helpful here. I wish you all the best - keep posting and reading!

Kris47

(((Jaded))),

Do it for you and your daughter. We're here for you as well.

Light and Love,
Kris

Pipping

Hi Jadedgirl
I don't have a daughter but the rest of your post could have been written by me 14 months ago. I drank a bottle to two bottles of wine a night for years and could barely manage housework and grocery shopping. I was always tired and had diarrhea with stomach cramps. I never felt well or happy. I had no energy or motivation to socialise and spent all my spare time at home drinking or waiting for an opportunity to drink. I mastered the art of vomiting silently so my husband didn't know I was hung over ( he did, everyone can tell) My life consisted of drinking, sleeping, going to work if I could and fighting off crippling anxiety. I used to say things on line that were terribly embarrassing.
I finally decided I couldn't live like this anymore. Nothing terrible had happened per se but my life was going down the toilet. I knew I was about to be called out at work about sick leave, I was constantly passed over for promotion and excluded from courses. My husband was sick of me and had distanced himself as I had by drinking and our finances were shite.
14 months later and all of these problems are gone. I have bad days like everyone else on the planet but I never wake up wondering what the hell I did, will my husband talk to me today, or what excuse can I give work not to go in because I can't drive/can't stop puking.
I am less moody and stressed, the cramps have gone and while I am no athlete I am certainly a lot fitter.. You can do this too. Read here everyday, go back through old posts and read and look after yourself. If your bored in the evenings because your not drinking then clean the house, go out with your daughter or just anything but drink. You will be really tired at first and you might need more sugar but just go with it. I sincerely wish you all the best, there is a much better life out there for you xxx

PurpleKnight

Welcome to the Forum!!

Sounds similar to my drinking, so don't beat yourself up, I went to work without fail, never lost a job, lost a driving licence, no financial issues, no divorces etc etc, but every evening the party was non my sofa alone with a bottle or two, and slowly I drank myself to the point of realising something had to change.

It's great to have you onboard!!

JadedGirl

Thanku so much for all the replies. I recognise myself so much in what everyone is saying. It's the first time I've really spoken to other people going through similar and although I'm sorry other people are experiencing or have experienced the same it's also such a relief to not be alone with it. I have a few friends I talk to but to talk to people who are actually going through this right now at the same time or who are coming through it feels like maybe (no I WILL) do it this time �� good luck to everyone too and thankyou for all being so fab xx

JadedGirl

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JadedGirl

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chickippo

hey Jadedgirl.

welcome. you clearly love your daughter so please, please make this the bottom for you.

my daughter went to go and live with her father 18 months ago, because she was finally so frightened of my drinking that she couldn't cope any more. she was 13. my drinking had been a problem for years, and i KNEW this. i knew i was out of control. i'd already lost my job the year before, after a breakdown caused by a lethal combination of mental illness and alcoholism.

2 months later, and i was still drinking. i'd been hospitalised for a sucide attempt that i made the day after my daughter left. i was in AA but i couldn't get hold of it. none of it stopped me. the following month i moved out of the 4 bed house i had shared with my husband (my second husband - not my daughter's father) and into a cold, draughty 1 bed flat on my own.

i didn't get sobriety to stick until a few months after that. all that i had lost, and i was STILL drinking when i couldn't bear the loneliness any more.

it took me nearly dying to finally sober up.

i'm nearly 9 months sober now. i see my daughter every weekend and it's fabulous, but god i miss her. her dad had too many drinks at a family party on saturday, and she spent the small hours texting me to say how frightened she was, how it reminded her of what happened with me. knowing i have done that damage to her is the greatest shame you can imagine.

i stay sober each day for a number of reasons. the main one is knowing that if i lose my sobriety. i lose everything. and it will go FAST. i'm not for a second suggesting that your drinking is like mine was, or that these things will happen to you. but they could.

you have so much to look forward to in a sober life. you deserve it. if i can get sober, i believe you can. i couldn't go a day without a drink. at the worst of it i couldn't go an hour.

someone said to me once in an AA meeting that we are the lucky ones. we have the chance to start life anew. who else has that? and life is really, really precious - i have to remember that every day.

i also think you should visit your doctor. mine have been amazing - the support really helps and it's worth getting checked in any case if you've been drinking heavily.

be well.

JadedGirl

Thankyou Hun. I'm so sorry things went so far with you. I really want this to be my bottom I really do. I really admire you for pulling yourself through because I can't even imagine what that must be like for your daughter to not be there. Well done though it sounds like you have come such a long way and are rebuilding that relationship. It's stories like this that make me realise this really is possible :-) hugs xx

Turtle82

Hi JadedGirl. You might want to step over and read some of our stories... Its a board "My Story." Mine is there and you'll see how similar it is to yours. My big fear was winding up a bag lady. That was enough to start me at least dumping out the bottles I bought. I'm sure you've thought of not only your life but that of your daughter's should you go to a bottom that far down... this is a progressive disease and many an alcoholic woman winds up on the streets. I see you're already there dumping the bottles and your analogy was a good one... "in an abusive relationship with a bottle"... that's exactly how it felt. I have a couple of suggestions. #1 you might need supervised detox.. only you can know that by shaking hands, etc. At least talk to a doctor about it and see what he/she thinks... and #2 try not to think further than this one day... just handle not drinking today.. that's enough of a chunk to deal with. This is not the time to think about yesterday nor tomorrow. One day at a time... just for today, don't drink.

JadedGirl

Thanku that's what I needed to see right now, again, one day at a time!! Keep thinking of the future and need to just think of today!
Would like to read yours and other stories. I'll hVe a look for that board now xx

Turtle82

Way to go JadedGirl! Here's a link to that board:

Stories of Recovery - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information