Feel alone and desperate
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: The Northland
Posts: 600
Welcome to SR JadedGirl, you will find a lot of good people and support here.it is scary to give up something that has become our main coping mechanism, best friend and worst enemy. The main thing is not drinking. One day at a time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Wales
Posts: 497
Originally Posted by JanieJ 
Welcome Jadedgirl 
You can change your life, it 's tough at first but that soon passes.
You can stop drinking today and never drink again, and regain your self esteem as well. It takes work on your part, but I know it's possible. I also did not think I could ever stop drinking, but I've been sober for over three months now.
You will not regret being sober, and you already know that your daughter needs you to be there for as well.
I am so glad you reached out.
You can do this.
You can change your life, it 's tough at first but that soon passes.
You can stop drinking today and never drink again, and regain your self esteem as well. It takes work on your part, but I know it's possible. I also did not think I could ever stop drinking, but I've been sober for over three months now.
You will not regret being sober, and you already know that your daughter needs you to be there for as well.
I am so glad you reached out.
You can do this.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Wales
Posts: 497
Originally Posted by brighterlife
I have tried to cut down for 2 years and finally came to the conclusion that I simply can't. It only takes that one fri night where I think to **** with it and 'I deserve this' then I'm back to at least a bottle of wine a night.
It's my treat
it's my reward
I'm bored
I'm stressed
Everyone else does it
etc etc etc..
I've been a v lucky functioning alcoholic. If I hadn't stopped who knows what I would have done last night.
All the best to you, you can do this
It's my treat
it's my reward
I'm bored
I'm stressed
Everyone else does it
etc etc etc..
I've been a v lucky functioning alcoholic. If I hadn't stopped who knows what I would have done last night.
All the best to you, you can do this
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Wales
Posts: 497
Originally Posted by BernieE
Welcome to SR JadedGirl, you will find a lot of good people and support here.it is scary to give up something that has become our main coping mechanism, best friend and worst enemy. The main thing is not drinking. One day at a time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Wales
Posts: 497
Thankyou so much for everyone taking the time to reply. I felt stupid posting and hate whinging but it's helped so much hearing other people's stories and knowing it's possible. First day today and petrified for tomorrow because know the cravings are going to kick in but feel better knowing I've found here x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Wales
Posts: 497
Originally Posted by soberwolf
Keep checking in with us JadedGirl
If you get cravings its best to share it here and remain sober
You can do this well day for day 1
spk soon
If you get cravings its best to share it here and remain sober
You can do this well day for day 1
spk soon
Really do appreciate support so much. So scared but so glad I found here x
Sober Soldier
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 1,911
JadedGirl I see myself in so much of your post. The blacking out, waking up the next day thinking, "What the hell did I do/say last night?!", trying to get rid of all the bottles without anyone knowing. It was a nightmare. And believe me, when, not if, WHEN you get through this you are going to look back and wonder how you ever could stand to live like that.
I can't help but feel like you are looking everywhere for something to give you a sense of self-worth when really the answer is already inside you. Think of your daughter. You are worth more to her than anyone else in this world. It's clear that you want to be the best mother that you can be. And you believe that being sober will allow you to be that person.
Don't dwell on the past or worry about tomorrow, or two days from now, or a week from now. Educate yourself, come on here as much as possible, and just take it one day at a time. Constantly remind yourself of WHY you want to change and don't let the voice of alcohol take your focus off of that for one second.
Stay focused and know that you can pull through this. We are all behind you!
I can't help but feel like you are looking everywhere for something to give you a sense of self-worth when really the answer is already inside you. Think of your daughter. You are worth more to her than anyone else in this world. It's clear that you want to be the best mother that you can be. And you believe that being sober will allow you to be that person.
Don't dwell on the past or worry about tomorrow, or two days from now, or a week from now. Educate yourself, come on here as much as possible, and just take it one day at a time. Constantly remind yourself of WHY you want to change and don't let the voice of alcohol take your focus off of that for one second.
Stay focused and know that you can pull through this. We are all behind you!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Wales
Posts: 497
Originally Posted by mns1
JadedGirl I see myself in so much of your post. The blacking out, waking up the next day thinking, "What the hell did I do/say last night?!", trying to get rid of all the bottles without anyone knowing. It was a nightmare. And believe me, when, not if, WHEN you get through this you are going to look back and wonder how you ever could stand to live like that.
I can't help but feel like you are looking everywhere for something to give you a sense of self-worth when really the answer is already inside you. Think of your daughter. You are worth more to her than anyone else in this world. It's clear that you want to be the best mother that you can be. And you believe that being sober will allow you to be that person.
Don't dwell on the past or worry about tomorrow, or two days from now, or a week from now. Educate yourself, come on here as much as possible, and just take it one day at a time. Constantly remind yourself of WHY you want to change and don't let the voice of alcohol take your focus off of that for one second.
Stay focused and know that you can pull through this. We are all behind you!
I can't help but feel like you are looking everywhere for something to give you a sense of self-worth when really the answer is already inside you. Think of your daughter. You are worth more to her than anyone else in this world. It's clear that you want to be the best mother that you can be. And you believe that being sober will allow you to be that person.
Don't dwell on the past or worry about tomorrow, or two days from now, or a week from now. Educate yourself, come on here as much as possible, and just take it one day at a time. Constantly remind yourself of WHY you want to change and don't let the voice of alcohol take your focus off of that for one second.
Stay focused and know that you can pull through this. We are all behind you!
I know my daughter needs me so much and I hate the fact I haven't been the best mum I could have been and that has to change. She always gets lots of cwtches and I tell her I love her all the time but that isn't enough. I have to start putting her first not a stupid bottle!!
I've been determined before but I know ur right and it has to be when...not if..otherwise don't know where it's all going to end up.
I know I keep saying it but thankyou so much!! Xx
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,614
Hi Jaded, there's a women's group here too I wonder, as a thought- I am agnostic however, if you are not and maybe a support/ church based group where they have a place for kids out hang out also? I went to a Zen temple years ago and there was a meditation for kids so the parents would do theirs while the kids did theirs separately. I think with a little creativity there must be a way to get your needs met somehow. The thing I did wasn't AA based or anything but the meditation/ Zen thing worked for me for 4 months which was amazing at the time!
I wonder, as a thought- I am agnostic however, if you are not and maybe a support/ church based group where they have a place for kids out hang out also? I went to a Zen temple years ago and there was a meditation for kids so the parents would do theirs while the kids did theirs separately. I think with a little creativity there must be a way to get your needs met somehow. The thing I did wasn't AA based or anything but the meditation/ Zen thing worked for me for 4 months which was amazing at the time!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Wales
Posts: 497
Originally Posted by sleepie
Hi Jaded, there's a women's group here too I wonder, as a thought- I am agnostic however, if you are not and maybe a support/ church based group where they have a place for kids out hang out also? I went to a Zen temple years ago and there was a meditation for kids so the parents would do theirs while the kids did theirs separately. I think with a little creativity there must be a way to get your needs met somehow. The thing I did wasn't AA based or anything but the meditation/ Zen thing worked for me for 4 months which was amazing at the time!
I wonder, as a thought- I am agnostic however, if you are not and maybe a support/ church based group where they have a place for kids out hang out also? I went to a Zen temple years ago and there was a meditation for kids so the parents would do theirs while the kids did theirs separately. I think with a little creativity there must be a way to get your needs met somehow. The thing I did wasn't AA based or anything but the meditation/ Zen thing worked for me for 4 months which was amazing at the time!Sober Soldier
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 1,911
Those two quotes are very important to me JadedGirl.
I like to think of them in combination. We can wish, want and hope all we want but change does not happen until we take action. And sometimes we have to do this in the face of what seem like impossible circumstances, in which case we simply have to trust that if we continue to take action, things are eventually going to begin working in our favor. And chances are, as long as you keep trying, you will start to see positive results. Just don't give up!
Thinking like this has gotten me through some rough stretches in my life. Perhaps it can help you as well!
More power to you JadedGirl!
I like to think of them in combination. We can wish, want and hope all we want but change does not happen until we take action. And sometimes we have to do this in the face of what seem like impossible circumstances, in which case we simply have to trust that if we continue to take action, things are eventually going to begin working in our favor. And chances are, as long as you keep trying, you will start to see positive results. Just don't give up!
Thinking like this has gotten me through some rough stretches in my life. Perhaps it can help you as well!
More power to you JadedGirl!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Wales
Posts: 497
Originally Posted by mns1
Those two quotes are very important to me JadedGirl.
I like to think of them in combination. We can wish, want and hope all we want but change does not happen until we take action. And sometimes we have to do this in the face of what seem like impossible circumstances, in which case we simply have to trust that if we continue to take action, things are eventually going to begin working in our favor. And chances are, as long as you keep trying, you will start to see positive results. Just don't give up!
Thinking like this has gotten me through some rough stretches in my life. Perhaps it can help you as well!
More power to you JadedGirl!
I like to think of them in combination. We can wish, want and hope all we want but change does not happen until we take action. And sometimes we have to do this in the face of what seem like impossible circumstances, in which case we simply have to trust that if we continue to take action, things are eventually going to begin working in our favor. And chances are, as long as you keep trying, you will start to see positive results. Just don't give up!
Thinking like this has gotten me through some rough stretches in my life. Perhaps it can help you as well!
More power to you JadedGirl!
I've actually just put the first one as my screensaver on my phone to look at every day! Xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Wales
Posts: 497
Sorry for the millions of posts but just to get it all out there feels kinda cathartic if that makes sense? Need to make sure I don't replace this with something else unhealthy and that's a fear. I've always had obsessions (maybe sorta addictions) from a young age. Self harm became addictive, I've had eating disorders, kinda got pretty obsessive with the whole chat room / cam thing, often alongside the drinking. This is the worst and the hardest so far to manage. Have a long history of mental health problems mainly around depression and anxiety (tho been diagnosed with a number of things over the years). Time to take control back!!!! X
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,576
Jaded - it's great to meet you. As you've seen, this is a friendly & encouraging place to be. I felt so much better when I came here and knew I wasn't alone.
You're right to be seeking help and making this big change in your life. I relied on alcohol to help me cope with stress, to relax and feel less anxious. It did just the opposite. When I finally found SR I was drinking all day and my life was in ruins. I'm so glad to be free of it. You can do it JadedGirl.
You're right to be seeking help and making this big change in your life. I relied on alcohol to help me cope with stress, to relax and feel less anxious. It did just the opposite. When I finally found SR I was drinking all day and my life was in ruins. I'm so glad to be free of it. You can do it JadedGirl.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern Michigan
Posts: 28,801
You really need to find help with this. SR is a great tool but it sounds like you need more. Isn't there anyone you can confide in and who could watch your daughter for an hour or so? Alcoholism is progressive and things could get much worse. I applaud you for wanting to stop. The only thing as important as your sobriety is your daughter. Remember, if nothing changes, nothing changes. Give yourself a chance.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Wales
Posts: 497
Originally Posted by Hevyn
Jaded - it's great to meet you. As you've seen, this is a friendly & encouraging place to be. I felt so much better when I came here and knew I wasn't alone.
You're right to be seeking help and making this big change in your life. I relied on alcohol to help me cope with stress, to relax and feel less anxious. It did just the opposite. When I finally found SR I was drinking all day and my life was in ruins. I'm so glad to be free of it. You can do it JadedGirl.
You're right to be seeking help and making this big change in your life. I relied on alcohol to help me cope with stress, to relax and feel less anxious. It did just the opposite. When I finally found SR I was drinking all day and my life was in ruins. I'm so glad to be free of it. You can do it JadedGirl.
it's so encouraging to hear from ppl who have done it and well done!! Can't wait to be the person saying that I'm free of it too 😄 x
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 114
Hi there
I think you have taken a huge step forward because you are being honest and facing up to the truth.
I've been told that no matter how much you drink or when, you have a problem if alcohol causes you fear or regret after you have been drinking. I am 8 days today and I loved alcohol because it made me lose my inhibitions and feel more confident and outgoing. However when you live in a small town and meet up with people who you have been drunk with it can be very embarrassing. I have found amazing support and friendship on this site and just being able to write about your fears and feelings is a wonderful release. Good Luck, Stay strong, Together we can do this
I think you have taken a huge step forward because you are being honest and facing up to the truth.
I've been told that no matter how much you drink or when, you have a problem if alcohol causes you fear or regret after you have been drinking. I am 8 days today and I loved alcohol because it made me lose my inhibitions and feel more confident and outgoing. However when you live in a small town and meet up with people who you have been drunk with it can be very embarrassing. I have found amazing support and friendship on this site and just being able to write about your fears and feelings is a wonderful release. Good Luck, Stay strong, Together we can do this
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Wales
Posts: 497
Originally Posted by Kris47
You really need to find help with this. SR is a great tool but it sounds like you need more. Isn't there anyone you can confide in and who could watch your daughter for an hour or so? Alcoholism is progressive and things could get much worse. I applaud you for wanting to stop. The only thing as important as your sobriety is your daughter. Remember, if nothing changes, nothing changes. Give yourself a chance.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
