At family Holiday Party and everybody's drinking except for me - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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Old 12-28-2014, 02:40 PM   #1 (permalink)
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At family Holiday Party and everybody's drinking except for me


I'm sitting outside my annual family "after" Christmas party and everyone is drinking. My uncle just asked me why I won't drink after I'm off probation for the DUI I got earlier this year. "You were never a big drinker" he said. "You don't want to drink now so you obviously don't have a problem. You just drank and drove too much that night and you learned your lesson."
My AV is kicking in hard core. That is exactly what it has been saying to me all week. I'm sitting here ruminating about how eventually I can drink again!! This is why I cling to the fear and anxiety so much because when I start to feel in control, I begin to have thoughts like these. I don't have any desire to drink right now but I'm so scared I'm going to eventually drink again. I can't imagine going to these family functions for the rest of my life and not have a few drinks. I'm playing the tape through and telling myself that it will just lead to the compulsion and black out binging that becomes normal for me. Ugh! This is awful..
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Old 12-28-2014, 02:47 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Hi Rina. I know it's easy for me to say, but don't heap the pressures of the future on yourself right now. Just notch up today as sober. Maybe later you'll actually like the idea of always being sober at parties, but that's not something you need worry about now. Drinkers often seem to want to get non-drinkers to drink again, but eventually they'll get the message you're serious about it.
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Old 12-28-2014, 02:48 PM   #3 (permalink)
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People are well meaning, but you know the truth Rina.

I never had a DUI, a police record or anything like that - but I lost a heck of a lot of the things I valued in my life - people I loved, careers, self respect.

I hated myself.

Not drinking changed all that

Events like these will not always be an ordeal.

They will get easier as you accept what you are and what you need to do - I prefer being sober now - not drinking is not a deprivation, it's a preference

D
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Old 12-28-2014, 02:48 PM   #4 (permalink)
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The problem with other people who want you to drink telling you that you don't have a problem with alcohol is it's a pretty bias viewpoint, if I went down to my local pub now and pulled up a chair, no one would think I had a problem either and I'd be encouraged to have a pint, so beware those opinions that are on the same side as your addictive mind.

The other thing is I really had to hammer home the acceptance that a period of abstinence wouldn't cure or fix me, if I had a drink right now, in a matter of weeks I'm pretty certain I'd be back to as bad as ever.

I went to my sister's wedding last summer and there were none drinkers at it, it really is great when we realise not everyone in the world drinks, there were some people there that didn't drink for religious reasons, we had older relatives, those that were driving and some that were pregnant, but why does no one give grandma a hard time for having a diet coke?

Hang in there, a new Sober lifestyle can't be created over night, old habits die hard, but in time we can revolutionise our lives to that of a "non drinker"!!

You can do this!!
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Old 12-28-2014, 02:51 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Oh honey...that wouldve have sealed the deal for me. Your uncle means well but OMG. I agree with Michael. When someone makes it known they dont drink there is always someone that challenges the resolve.

Yes you learned your lesson from your DUI. A very expensive one! That is why you dont drink!

Im proud of you for posting and for being so strong!
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Old 12-28-2014, 03:16 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
People are well meaning, but you know the truth Rina.

I never had a DUI, a police record or anything like that - but I lost a heck of a lot of the things I valued in my life - people I loved, careers, self respect.

I hated myself.

Not drinking changed all that

Events like these will not always be an ordeal.

They will get easier as you accept what you are and what you need to do - I prefer being sober now - not drinking is not a deprivation, it's a preference

D
This
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Old 12-28-2014, 04:48 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Thank you for the supportive words! Yes u are right- not drinking is a privilege! Getting through it! Hanging with the young cousins who are underage and don't drink. U guys are awesome!
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Old 12-28-2014, 05:00 PM   #8 (permalink)
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It just shows how insane this disease is! To think that I am mourning not drinking when the consequences of it are currently wreaking such havoc on my life currently.
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"Forgiveness is giving up the belief that the past could have been any different." Anonymous

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Old 12-28-2014, 05:05 PM   #9 (permalink)
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It is insane, isn't it? ^^^^The change in perspective is helpful - revel in sobriety without mourning intoxication
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