Nuudawn

You're in pain Pam...and you need to express it. That's actually why you are posting here. When pain hits like a tsunami we need to know how to move around with it and keep our head about water.

People here care about you. Last weekend in this community there was a grieving workshop put on in local restaurant and this weekend I noticed signed for a special church service for folks having to deal with grief over the holidays. There are resources out there to help you deal with this pain...move through it...so you don't feel so much like you're drowning.

I really, really hope you reach out for some real live hugs from people also dealing with similar losses.

What you are dealing with IS painful. We understand and only want you to seek out more effective comfort and understanding in the real world.

Hawkeye13

We love you bunches too--

CNY46ER

I lost my grandmother and grandfather both in October within 10days of each other. It was very very hard to not drink during the time and even to today. I am very glad I was able to muster enough strength to do it though. Stay focused and know we are all here.

ScottFromWI

That's not true Raider. We all have a responsibility to ourselves and those around us to take care of ourselves and deal with life. It's pretty common for our addiction to tell us that though...that we are somehow different from everyone else, and in turn using it as an excuse to drink.

You are a veteran of SR, and you do know the intentions and motivations of those reaching out are straight from the heart. I hope you can find the strengh to take some of the steps that have been suggested. You can't do this yourself.

Raider

Today was hard. I wanted to call her. I miss and love her so much. I'm sick about it. I called my Mom. instead. Not the same. She is sick and didn't got to Church. She is so depressed. I feel her broken heart and it breaks mine.

Lenina

Raider, I'm sorry youre hurting and your mom is hurting too. I'm glad you called her. I hope your family can cling together and get through this.

tomorrow, see about finding a bereavement counselor, it really does help find a way through the pain.

Love from Lenina

ScottFromWI

What do you think she would have told you if you could have called Raider? What would she want you to do?

MIRecovery

Unfortunately life happens. There will always be an excuse to drink but none of them will be good ones.

I have the best excuse in the world but here I sit very sad but very sober. I will be talking to a grief counselor on Monday because I'm failing apart. Still drinking is not an option

Raider

MIR I know you understand how I feel.

She would have told me to get my **** together.

Dee74

I've been scared of grieving - really grieving - before Pam

scared of the pain I anticpated, scared of what I might find in that pain...

scared of finding I might never get through it, but most of all, scared about getting through it, and then wondering what will I feel once I do get through it

I wondered if I'd lose my loved one. Would I be letting them down by not feeling so raw? would that make me guilty?

I didn't lose anything. The memories are all there, even the space is still there, but the pain is manageable, that's all.

I gained the will and strength to carry on and use the life God gave me.

Noone deserves to live in pain Pam.

D

Thepatman

Bumping this one back at the top.

Our friend Pam needs us. Let's skip the plans, this and that worked for me, or any smart lessons. Only positive messages.

Pam, you made some solid friendships on SR. Let us help you carry the burden of your terrible lost.

Today, may the lord shine his light upon you, may his wisdom and love help you trough today.

lunar

Pam,
Thank you for being my friend.
I'll always remember and appreciate
your kind words and witty humour.
You've helped me more than you realize.
I'm sure most of our SR brothers and sisters
would agree with me, as well. We all love you.
We are here for you, my dear sister.

Dee74

I hope you log on again soon Pam.

If you're going through a tough time I think it makes sense to reach out for support, not shrink away from it?

D

anattaboy

Ok Raider, my turn. You posted on my tapering thread back in May when I joined and I remember. I read almost all your posts just because. I also notice your absences and worry. I think you need to let alcohol go first or at least realize both losses have become intertwined. Grieve them both sober. It may be hard but you only have to do it once. Alcohol will never let you get through this but only if you let it.. We, and those dear to you need YOU back.

Hawkeye13

Missing you Pam

Please come back soon

SoberLeigh

So am I, Raider.

happyandfree

How are you, Raider? Hugs to you -

JT0626

(((hugs))))

We are here for you....

CodeJob

Morning Pam,

Just thinking about you today.

Nuudawn

Nice bump Patman.

How are you doing Pam?