Newpathway

I think what your going through is not unusual and is temporary if you can ride it through. Hang tight.

Anna...loved your link...

Jupiters

Hey M - sorry if you mentioned this before and I forgot...have you been in *any* counselling? I mean, GOOD therapy? (I say that b/c I now know the difference between a good counsellor and a bad one)
AA is great (I don't do meetings, but get that it works for people)....but one on one counselling with someone who is UNbiased (sorry, but AA is biased to an extent) and has some experience with addictions, may be able to help clear some of those cobwebs.
just a thought. You need to break this cycle, somehow. And I think you need to deplete every resource available to you.
When I complained to my BF and parents "but I can't AFFORD that"....their answer was "well, you always had money to get drunk, so you can afford it"
LOL

Mrrryah1

Day ten in an hour. Still not feelin great but I know the only way to feel better is to get through this somehow. Thanks guys for all the awesome feedback and comments. Much love. <3

Wastinglife

Mrryah, I am ten months now. I have been on 'radio silence' the whole time from all my old friends. New cell phone number that no one but my family and close friends know. No one but these people know where I live.

I didn't like the first chapter of my life. I am going to build my second chapter now. A new me.

Think about how you want to be from here on in. I am a little miserable but I know that there is something out there. I still haven't found what I'm looking for (U2 actually stole that line from me, not the other way round haha)

pupkin

Excellent, Myrrah--well done indeed. You're going to get there. If you made mistakes in the past, you're in good company here.

Jupiters

This is what I love. We get a chance to make a new start. a FRESH start. Without the chains and shackles of booze, a whole new world opens up where we get to actively choose what we want and need around us.
M - you can do this. You had a good chunk of sober days and just remember how incredible you felt. It's there. Waiting for you again.