Notices

Slipped Again

Old 11-10-2014, 03:34 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
aloneatlast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Manchester
Posts: 104
Slipped Again

Yesterday, I had my first AA meeting near where I live. I was looking for additional support. I had been nearly two weeks sober and was feeling great and then at the meeting, a complete ******* started on me for no reason. It looked like he wanted to get physical, so I just left in a huff.

It really upset me and I lost control of myself. I went into a bar and had a drink. After 2 pints, I went home and really shaken by my experiences.

2 weeks, I cant believe it. 2 Weeks in and I was doing fine, no real temptations and then some idiot takes out his insecurities on me and I throw it away.

He starts telling me, how I cant make it in AA or stay sober if I dont believe in God. I said you mean a Higher Power, he said; No God.

Anyway, I have even had a drink tonight, but tomorrow I am starting day 1 again and this time no more AA.
aloneatlast is offline  
Old 11-10-2014, 03:45 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: South Florida
Posts: 149
You need to learn how to deal with your stress without going right for the drink. One stranger's unsolicitated opinion should not have driven you to give up. Who cares what he thinks?

What are you going to do next time? Are you drinking now? Snowball effect is the worst.
lighteningbug is offline  
Old 11-10-2014, 03:50 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
newhope01's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,122
Time to find a new meeting.

IMO it takes a while to find a good meeting but once you do you will be glad you did.

Sorry about your experiences. As lighteningbug says, may this help you learn better ways to cope when someone makes you angry in the future. Perhaps call someone next time?
newhope01 is offline  
Old 11-10-2014, 03:51 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,416
I'm sorry that happened Alone. We're very fragile in the early days - that was shameful behavior on his part when you were seeking help. Bug is right though - learning to deal with stress without falling back on our old 'buffer' is essential. You will do it! Glad you are back with new determination, hopefully.
Hevyn is offline  
Old 11-10-2014, 03:54 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
LBrain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
pick up where you left off. Sort of reminds me of boot camp. After 49 pushups you falter on 50 - the DI yells ONE! Don't let them get to you.
Have you considered AVRT, rational recovery or some other type of recovery method?
LBrain is offline  
Old 11-10-2014, 03:58 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
aloneatlast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Manchester
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by lighteningbug View Post
You need to learn how to deal with your stress without going right for the drink. One stranger's unsolicitated opinion should not have driven you to give up. Who cares what he thinks?

What are you going to do next time? Are you drinking now? Snowball effect is the worst.
I was angry by how he made me feel. I have problems and I am dealing with them in the best way I can, head on and sober. So when a person I don't know and doesn't know me, says I am going to fail, because I don't believe in God, I took exception to this.

I mean I don't believe in the tooth fairy either, does that mean I cannot get sober unless I change my beliefs and start believing in fictious authority figures ?

I was angry to be in his company, I look back over my life, both Sober and Drunk and I have always chosen the people whom I mix with. I could smell urine on some people and here them talking about getting wasted in the mornings and I thought, this isn't me.

I got angry not just at him, but the situation and of course proving I was "normal" had 2 drinks to prove I wasn't an alcoholic.

The fact is, I am not falling around drunk at all hours of the day, but I do have a drinking problem and I have chosen to refrain from drinking so that problem doesn't get worse.

Maybe I was trying to over compensate for support, instead of getting quality support I so desperately need.

Am I drinking now, I wont lie anymore, Yes, but I am not drunk.
aloneatlast is offline  
Old 11-10-2014, 03:59 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
aloneatlast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Manchester
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by LBrain View Post
pick up where you left off. Sort of reminds me of boot camp. After 49 pushups you falter on 50 - the DI yells ONE! Don't let them get to you.
Have you considered AVRT, rational recovery or some other type of recovery method?
I havent considered it, but Sir, I will now. Thank you.
aloneatlast is offline  
Old 11-10-2014, 04:00 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
SoberLeigh's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,775
I am sorry that you had that experience, aloneatlast.

LBrain mentioned Rational Recovery and AVRT; have you looked into those techniques/methods. While AA has been great for many people, it is not the only game in town.
SoberLeigh is offline  
Old 11-10-2014, 04:03 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
bona fido dog-lover
 
least's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,673
I had a guy in AA tell me the same sort of stuff once. I told him I was a Buddhist and left him with his mouth hanging open as I walked away.
least is offline  
Old 11-10-2014, 04:04 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
aloneatlast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Manchester
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by SoberLeigh View Post
I am sorry that you had that experience, aloneatlast.

LBrain mentioned Rational Recovery and AVRT; have you looked into those techniques/methods. While AA has been great for many people, it is not the only game in town.
I have just been looking at The Crash Course On AVRT it seems very promising and I think it time to shake up the destiny tree and try again.

Can I just say a big thanks to everyone for not judging me, it may seem small but I really do appreciate it. TY
aloneatlast is offline  
Old 11-10-2014, 04:05 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
aloneatlast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Manchester
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by least View Post
I had a guy in AA tell me the same sort of stuff once. I told him I was a Buddhist and left him with his mouth hanging open as I walked away.
I wish I had a comeback like that.
aloneatlast is offline  
Old 11-10-2014, 04:05 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Guest
 
luvmygirls's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 1,305
I would suggest that some of the things you mentioned (not drinking at all hours of the day, not falling down), as "yets." I've done some things while drinking that I never would have predicted before they actually happened.
luvmygirls is offline  
Old 11-10-2014, 04:07 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
newhope01's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,122
Originally Posted by aloneatlast View Post
I was angry by how he made me feel. I have problems and I am dealing with them in the best way I can, head on and sober. So when a person I don't know and doesn't know me, says I am going to fail, because I don't believe in God, I took exception to this.

I mean I don't believe in the tooth fairy either, does that mean I cannot get sober unless I change my beliefs and start believing in fictious authority figures ?

I was angry to be in his company, I look back over my life, both Sober and Drunk and I have always chosen the people whom I mix with. I could smell urine on some people and here them talking about getting wasted in the mornings and I thought, this isn't me.

I got angry not just at him, but the situation and of course proving I was "normal" had 2 drinks to prove I wasn't an alcoholic.

The fact is, I am not falling around drunk at all hours of the day, but I do have a drinking problem and I have chosen to refrain from drinking so that problem doesn't get worse.

Maybe I was trying to over compensate for support, instead of getting quality support I so desperately need.

Am I drinking now, I wont lie anymore, Yes, but I am not drunk.
I am sorry that this experience you had with this person made you got back on your resolve to not drink anymore.

However, I feel I do need to point out that I don't think its fair that you judged some of the other AA members present at that meeting.

We are all lucky not to be at that point where we are drinking in the morning and don't bother to take care of ourselves.

Careful, not trying to come off as rude but if you keep drinking you may find yourself in similar predicament.
newhope01 is offline  
Old 11-10-2014, 04:09 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
aloneatlast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Manchester
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by josharon View Post
I would suggest that some of the things you mentioned (not drinking at all hours of the day, not falling down), as "yets." I've done some things while drinking that I never would have predicted before they actually happened.
josharon, I was doing so well. I cant tell you how happy I have been sober and I went along to AA with an open mind, just seeking extra support. I have a genuine heartfelt desire to stop drinking alcohol. My life is so much better sober. I do not want to keep going down the path of drinking my life away.
aloneatlast is offline  
Old 11-10-2014, 04:11 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
aloneatlast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Manchester
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by newhope01 View Post
I am sorry that this experience you had with this person made you got back on your resolve to not drink anymore.

However, I feel I do need to point out that I don't think its fair that you judged some of the other AA members present at that meeting.

We are all lucky not to be at that point where we are drinking in the morning and don't bother to take care of ourselves.

Careful, not trying to come off as rude but if you keep drinking you may find yourself in similar predicament.
Forgive me, I did not want to sound like I was judging them.

I only felt I was being sorted, picked and packed in a pre-made box, which I felt I did not belong to. I was not judging anyone or trying to be aloof.
aloneatlast is offline  
Old 11-10-2014, 04:11 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,058
I'm sorry you had that experience, but I think it would be a real shame if you let one guy put you off AA or make you fall back into old ways.

I was always very affected by what people said to me too, but in time, I learned to trust my own judgement again

Not everyone you meant in recovery will be a saint. Stick with those people who have the qualities you aspire to

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 11-10-2014, 04:13 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
newhope01's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 1,122
Originally Posted by least View Post
I had a guy in AA tell me the same sort of stuff once. I told him I was a Buddhist and left him with his mouth hanging open as I walked away.
I am so lucky that I didn't have to put up with any of that nonsense. An oldtimer saw me not saying the serenity pray (because I don't know it that well) and asked me if I had issues with the higher power concept. I said no, but I am an athiest. He said, "don't let the higher power stuff scare you off."

Some meetings are just better than others.
newhope01 is offline  
Old 11-10-2014, 04:18 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
aloneatlast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Manchester
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I'm sorry you had that experience, but I think it would be a real shame if you let one guy put you off AA or make you fall back into old ways.

I was always very affected by what people said to me too, but in time, I learned to trust my own judgement again

Not everyone you meant in recovery will be a saint. Stick with those people who have the qualities you aspire to

D
Dee74, for two weeks I had made a commitment to myself to stay sober and not drink again. Almost everyday I tried to post something positive to look back on and reflect upon to help myself and if possible others too.

I do not know anyone on this forum, but I can relate to little of everyone and I have drawn so much strength from SR, that I could have gone on sober indefinitely.

My family are supportive, my friends are understanding (true friends anyhow) and my sobriety was really helping me be better at work.

I went to AA, for extra support, not because I really needed to because I may drink again, but only to add a different perception on being sober. I found the message of some group members incompatible (shall we say), with where I found myself. I know people have said "Yet", but the disappointing thing for me was I feel I could of maintained my sobriety if I had not been in that situation.

I wont make that mistake again.
aloneatlast is offline  
Old 11-10-2014, 04:25 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,058
I've had some pretty vicious aggressive and insulting things said to me over the years too alone - keep moving forward in your recovery and you will learn to take those on the chin and disregard them - because you'll have a superb sense of who you are

Nothing anyone says or does to me can make me drink anymore

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 11-10-2014, 04:26 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
aloneatlast's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Manchester
Posts: 104
Originally Posted by newhope01 View Post
I am so lucky that I didn't have to put up with any of that nonsense. An oldtimer saw me not saying the serenity pray (because I don't know it that well) and asked me if I had issues with the higher power concept. I said no, but I am an athiest. He said, "don't let the higher power stuff scare you off."

Some meetings are just better than others.
I wish I had met someone like you at the meeting, I mean it, you talk a lot sense. Thanks
aloneatlast is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:02 AM.