ZetaP38

Hi, All ~

I know that I don't fully grasp the 'smorgasbord' style of SR yet, as my experience has been with traditional AA online groups before now. SR is a very interesting recovery site and I'm enjoying the 'inclusiveness' very much.

What I do find particularly unusual are the many threads that are a 'sobriety log' which count the days with very little 'recovery talk'. There is occasionally a mention by the OP of anxiety or difficulty in staying sober and an encouraging short reply, but little else.

It is confusing to me that the OP doesn't state what recovery method they are using, or if going cold turkey. No mention of recovery tools/mind tools being tried or, if so, asking for clarification on their use. And often the threads just stop after a few days.

It *seems* like people are just making a decision to stop drinking without enlisting specific es&h for the terrain of early sobriety. What I'd like to know is if there is something about the sobriety logs I'm not understanding and if it would somehow be inappropriate to ask the OP questions about how they are trying to accomplish the goal of lasting sobriety.

If others here got sober using the 'sobriety day-counter' method, what else was involved?

Thanks for any input,

Pamela
dos 8/98

biminiblue

Just jump in wherever you want. Ask or comment, or just read. You'll figure it out I really do well in the format of open forums like this one.

Welcome to the site.

doggonecarl

Pam,
Your observations are spot on. Many members here on SR keep a running thread going to document their sober journey. And as you've probably figured out, with no specific recovery method or tools, or support to underpin their sobriety, the thread just stops.

For some, SR is a recovery life-line and mainstay of our recovery. For others it doesn't work. We can hope that they move on to find recovery in another manner, or worse, fear that they have continued drinking.

Soberwolf

I came in to SR at over a year sober i see SR as a melting pot of recovery its got pretty much everything

youl see that the more you interact

LBrain

there are different forums and sub-forums that get into topical discussions, an online chat room and online meetings here. there are also fun and games sections.
explore a little

ZetaP38

Thanks, you heard the question I was trying to ask but didn't quite 'get there':

"Are the 'sober logs' part of a particular method (AVRT, RR, etc.) and I'm just not familiar enough with other methods to know if I would be 'interferring in their process' by asking questions or offering suggestions?"

So, it's a version of do-it-myself. I did enough of that long before I reached out to AA. Guess I was having trouble believing it could be a 'cold turkey' attempt *within* a dynamic addictions support group.

Thanks for helping me sort this out...

Pamela

ScottFromWI

There are people here from all around the world that use a multitude of recovery methods ( AA/AVRT included ). Some use multiple, some use none. To my knowledge, there isn't an AA step or an AVRT process that includes online logs specifically. Some may, some may not.

Bottom line, feel free to ask and comment about anything you like if you have something to share.

heartcore

Hey Pam - I agree with your observation. What I'm noticing is that this is the Newcomers Forum section, and that there are many folks who come on here in that place of desperation about their drinking and its impact on their lives, and then sort of try to will themselves into recovery, with a dash of inspiration provided by other posters.

The challenge with this is that willpower alone is almost never sufficient in dealing with alcoholism. This isn't a "self-improvement regime" or a low-carb diet. In my experience, combating alcoholism takes a complete revision of your perspective, behavior, and - significantly - lifestyle. For me, I cannot imagine doing this successfully without using a 12 step model and live meetings. I've done a fair amount of reading on here of AVRT theory, and see that a solid practice there could be a strong sobriety. I'm using that approach with my cigarette smoking, and it is working.

But just counting days and feeling the frantic desire to drink and holding fast through that desire - I don't think that works so well. I had to get to a place in which drinking was NOT AN OPTION. In the 12 step model, this came through working the steps, surrounding myself with an all-sober community, and - frankly - believing fervently that God would assist me in the journey. I reached out for sobriety because of dire medical issues, so have that sense of life and death around abstinence. That is present for all alcoholics, but until you actually have a concrete medical consequence, it is all too easy to think that you'll "stop in time" a little bit further down the road.

In order to successfully get sober this time I had to ask my boyfriend to leave my home, and end the relationship completely. He was a drinker, and having him drink around me provided a daily temptation. I think this level of lifestyle change requires "the willingness to go to any lengths." For many that might mean going to in-patient treatment, leaving a job, leaving a marriage, going to daily meetings, etc.

I don't know if it does people a disservice that here on SR there is so much love and support through multiple "slips" and a sort of implied emotional support that "you can do it" without really defining what "it" is. According to AA and much historical wisdom, an alcoholic CAN'T "do it" without transforming their life and committing to a recovery lifestyle. The big book is full of stories of alcoholics who were jailed and institutionalized, who lost families, who wandered in black-out to distant cities - ALL of them woke up each morning hoping to quit drinking, promising to quit drinking, desperate to quit drinking, and they kept drinking, and that is what alcoholics DO...

So, does reporting that you drank last night, or sharing that you are on day 3 with strangers on the internet, or sharing that you really really want to drink right now going to help you get sober (and hold that sobriety?) I've got to be honest, I don't think so. I don't even think that WANTING it desperately is going to get an alcoholic sober. Just "not drinking" is impossible for an alcoholic - no matter how much you want it.

I've met folks on here who have gotten sober with AVRT or with "just SR." I don't know what other aspects of their life changed, or if they are stronger willed than I, or if their reasons for quitting were so compelling that this was sufficient. I know that an online accountability would not have been enough for me to quit drugs or drinking. Nor could I have stayed in my old lifestyle and made a subtle adjustment and quit.

Sometimes I want to make stronger pleas on people's threads on the newcomer forum, but I refrain. I worry though that messages of hopeful support might not be enough when we are in a battle of this magnitude... and I think that the more honestly and deeply we share our experiences, the more true assistance we can provide...

But, I'm only me, and it might be just right for others. SR has been around with its culture for far longer than I've been here. There are a lot of sections of forums; maybe this gentle message is specific to the newcomers section. I love this community. It is an important and daily part of my life.

Eshgham

I keep a weightlifting log in an active community. Training, writing down my routine, documenting progress and airing thoughts has become a ritual for me. It's just something I do, and I enjoy writing about it.

If I don't train, I have nothing to write. But I like writing about training and want to do it .... So, the log acts as extra motivation. Receiving positive comments also fuel the fire.

I'm hoping to get something similar out of my log here. When I joined this website, the first thing I did was create a thread that I could post updates in. It may be useful to others, it may not be - but that's not really the point. I'd like to think that if someone was to read it they could get something out it, but ultimately it's for me. A place for me to air my thoughts. And it helps. & I watch it grow, and I don't want to see it die by drinking.

anattaboy

I see your points. I came here in late May thinking it seemed a good place to log my detox and ended up logging in most every day since. I rarely do meetings anymore. Lots going on here in the spirit of sobriety. Peruse, post and enjoy.

Dee74

There's a variety of approaches here at SR ZetaP.

I'm in the' more I learn, the more I realize how much I don't know' camp

I see approaches here everyday that would not have worked for me - but work really well for others

go figure

D