Hey Pam - I agree with your observation. What I'm noticing is that this is the Newcomers Forum section, and that there are many folks who come on here in that place of desperation about their drinking and its impact on their lives, and then sort of try to will themselves into recovery, with a dash of inspiration provided by other posters.
The challenge with this is that willpower alone is almost never sufficient in dealing with alcoholism. This isn't a "self-improvement regime" or a low-carb diet. In my experience, combating alcoholism takes a complete revision of your perspective, behavior, and - significantly - lifestyle. For me, I cannot imagine doing this successfully without using a 12 step model and live meetings. I've done a fair amount of reading on here of AVRT theory, and see that a solid practice there could be a strong sobriety. I'm using that approach with my cigarette smoking, and it is working.
But just counting days and feeling the frantic desire to drink and holding fast through that desire - I don't think that works so well. I had to get to a place in which drinking was NOT AN OPTION. In the 12 step model, this came through working the steps, surrounding myself with an all-sober community, and - frankly - believing fervently that God would assist me in the journey. I reached out for sobriety because of dire medical issues, so have that sense of life and death around abstinence. That is present for all alcoholics, but until you actually have a concrete medical consequence, it is all too easy to think that you'll "stop in time" a little bit further down the road.
In order to successfully get sober this time I had to ask my boyfriend to leave my home, and end the relationship completely. He was a drinker, and having him drink around me provided a daily temptation. I think this level of lifestyle change requires "the willingness to go to any lengths." For many that might mean going to in-patient treatment, leaving a job, leaving a marriage, going to daily meetings, etc.
I don't know if it does people a disservice that here on SR there is so much love and support through multiple "slips" and a sort of implied emotional support that "you can do it" without really defining what "it" is. According to AA and much historical wisdom, an alcoholic CAN'T "do it" without transforming their life and committing to a recovery lifestyle. The big book is full of stories of alcoholics who were jailed and institutionalized, who lost families, who wandered in black-out to distant cities - ALL of them woke up each morning hoping to quit drinking, promising to quit drinking, desperate to quit drinking, and they kept drinking, and that is what alcoholics DO...
So, does reporting that you drank last night, or sharing that you are on day 3 with strangers on the internet, or sharing that you really really want to drink right now going to help you get sober (and hold that sobriety?) I've got to be honest, I don't think so. I don't even think that WANTING it desperately is going to get an alcoholic sober. Just "not drinking" is impossible for an alcoholic - no matter how much you want it.
I've met folks on here who have gotten sober with AVRT or with "just SR." I don't know what other aspects of their life changed, or if they are stronger willed than I, or if their reasons for quitting were so compelling that this was sufficient. I know that an online accountability would not have been enough for me to quit drugs or drinking. Nor could I have stayed in my old lifestyle and made a subtle adjustment and quit.
Sometimes I want to make stronger pleas on people's threads on the newcomer forum, but I refrain. I worry though that messages of hopeful support might not be enough when we are in a battle of this magnitude... and I think that the more honestly and deeply we share our experiences, the more true assistance we can provide...
But, I'm only me, and it might be just right for others. SR has been around with its culture for far longer than I've been here. There are a lot of sections of forums; maybe this gentle message is specific to the newcomers section. I love this community. It is an important and daily part of my life.