Scared!!!
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
I am glad you are feeling better and that you had a good meeting earlier.
I relapsed after 5 years and I was "out" for 6. I have now over 21 months sober.
I am in AA and yes, I am probably a little nutty but I draw the line at chasing after newcomers screaming that they will die while waving a big book ( sorry for the poster to whom it happened but the visual had me laughing my head off).
Seriously, if i can do it, so can you.
Do not give up on yourself and next time your AV tries to use some stupid thing an AA member said as an excuse to drink, tell it to F... off. There are idiots everywhere, in and out of the rooms of AA. If I picked up a drink every time I hear someone saying something stupid, I would probably be lit every day.
I relapsed after 5 years and I was "out" for 6. I have now over 21 months sober.
I am in AA and yes, I am probably a little nutty but I draw the line at chasing after newcomers screaming that they will die while waving a big book ( sorry for the poster to whom it happened but the visual had me laughing my head off).
Seriously, if i can do it, so can you.
Do not give up on yourself and next time your AV tries to use some stupid thing an AA member said as an excuse to drink, tell it to F... off. There are idiots everywhere, in and out of the rooms of AA. If I picked up a drink every time I hear someone saying something stupid, I would probably be lit every day.
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Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
G'day SD
I relapsed at two years... I was running the "step one and third tradition " method and making about 7-10 meetings a week.
That method was highly recommended to me by guys at my first home group.
(meeting makers make it... Some do, I didn't)
I drank for another 4 Years.
This time around its sponsor (a tough one, I need that) and steps and two meetings a week.
I have to report that the steps frightened me for two years first time round but now that I am actually doing them....... It is like kissing a kitten by comparison to "meetings meetings meetings " and hoping it'll somehow "wash over me"
Hope that helps
I relapsed at two years... I was running the "step one and third tradition " method and making about 7-10 meetings a week.
That method was highly recommended to me by guys at my first home group.
(meeting makers make it... Some do, I didn't)
I drank for another 4 Years.
This time around its sponsor (a tough one, I need that) and steps and two meetings a week.
I have to report that the steps frightened me for two years first time round but now that I am actually doing them....... It is like kissing a kitten by comparison to "meetings meetings meetings " and hoping it'll somehow "wash over me"
Hope that helps
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by Hope2014 
Never. Give. Up. That was nasty of that woman to say to you. YOU know that you can do it because you've done it before. Make tomorrow day 1 and keep moving forward.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
I got a bit derailed too by how someone spoke to me. I almost feel like an open wound for people to pour salt into. Like this woman who spoke to you in a less than helpful way. We MUST consider the source and move on, right? We can do this!!
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by DoubleDragons
I have to believe that a long period of sobriety has to be helpful to you, Serenidad. I quit drinking a little over a year ago, after drinking for 27 years starting at the age of 15. I had no idea what sobriety even looked or felt like. I wasn't really sure sobriety was something worth wanting, because I had no adult experience with sobriety. Now I truly know how valuable it is and how much better life is as a sober person. So, if I were to fall off the wagon, I would understand much better what I had given up, losing my sobriety. To me, that knowledge has to be powerful to you and me and me and people like us. It makes the goal a little easier to fathom?!? Further, when I was first getting sober, I thought of people who I knew, such as my great grandmother, who quit drinking without the help of AA, books, off-line support, family support, etc. She dug deep and I knew if she could do it, I could do it. Focus on the positives and the goal. You can do this!! You have already proven it to yourself!
Why did I drink again? I made a conscious decision to have a beer at dinner with my husband one year ago today! 10/24/13. I don't think I every really truly believed I was truly an alcoholic during that 5.5 years. I stopped drinking for everyone but me. So....I tried it again...the "experiment" failed....now I KNOW I am an alcoholic and have accepted it. It is what it is. There is a solution and you're right....I know the happiness that lies ahead in sobriety. Thx for the kind words! :-)
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by SoberBeast
It isn't over for you until you give up on yourself. We are human, and will make mistakes from time to time. Best thing to do is brush off the slip up, and saddle up for tomorrow.
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by Carlotta
I am glad you are feeling better and that you had a good meeting earlier. I relapsed after 5 years and I was "out" for 6. I have now over 21 months sober. I am in AA and yes, I am probably a little nutty but I draw the line at chasing after newcomers screaming that they will die while waving a big book ( sorry for the poster to whom it happened but the visual had me laughing my head off). Seriously, if i can do it, so can you. Do not give up on yourself and next time your AV tries to use some stupid thing an AA member said as an excuse to drink, tell it to F... off. There are idiots everywhere, in and out of the rooms of AA. If I picked up a drink every time I hear someone saying something stupid, I would probably be lit every day.
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by ArtFriend
I got a bit derailed too by how someone spoke to me. I almost feel like an open wound for people to pour salt into. Like this woman who spoke to you in a less than helpful way. We MUST consider the source and move on, right? We can do this!!
One of my biggest pet peeves about some people in AA (and even when I had 5.5 years this bothered me) is some people with a lot of sober time think they are better than other people. Some act like they rule the roost! Hate that! It scares newcomers away. I will NEVER act like that...even if I have 50 years of sobriety someday! People with ALOT of sober time are no better than people with 24 hours! It's a daily reprieve. Heck...last night I heard about a guy that relapsed after 30 years! I pray to always remain humble! Xo
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Dallas, Texas
Posts: 2,459
You make a good point. Sobriety does not equal "nice" or "sane". If they were nasty before they drank, and while drinking, they are gonna be that way in sobriety.
I also think that the reason some AA people act superior to others is that they are not secure with their own sobriety. It is a defense mechanism that allays their own anxiety and fear. Being rigid acts like a buffer for them. It's their circus and their monkeys, not yours. LOL!
I also think that the reason some AA people act superior to others is that they are not secure with their own sobriety. It is a defense mechanism that allays their own anxiety and fear. Being rigid acts like a buffer for them. It's their circus and their monkeys, not yours. LOL!
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by ArtFriend
You make a good point. Sobriety does not equal "nice" or "sane". If they were nasty before they drank, and while drinking, they are gonna be that way in sobriety. I also think that the reason some AA people act superior to others is that they are not secure with their own sobriety. It is a defense mechanism that allays their own anxiety and fear. Being rigid acts like a buffer for them. It's their circus and their monkeys, not yours. LOL!
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Carlotta
I am in AA and yes, I am probably a little nutty......
You_Rock_gladd ya went to a meeting!!!
I recall reading something about them relapses possibly being helpful, but don't recall where I read it.
my past is a very valuable possession I have. it reminds me of what didn't work, what does, what could come back if I drink and listening at meetings reminds me theres more gloom, despair, and misery I haven't experienced.....
yet.
but Im not letting it happen...
today.
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 1,177
If you were told "very few acheive long term sobriety" at the begining of your six year run- would you have chosen not to try?
Regardless of group affiliation we'll all interact with folks who uplift us- and those who don't. Lessons can be found in both groups of people.
Data and statistics do not account for one's heart, spirit, and will. Drinking proves this individual right. Seems to me that's not your intention.
Consider turning the message into positive motivation- and become the guy who several years from now will inspire those who have suffered a relapse after long term sobriety- that another long-term run is possible, probable, and worth it.
Regardless of group affiliation we'll all interact with folks who uplift us- and those who don't. Lessons can be found in both groups of people.
Data and statistics do not account for one's heart, spirit, and will. Drinking proves this individual right. Seems to me that's not your intention.
Consider turning the message into positive motivation- and become the guy who several years from now will inspire those who have suffered a relapse after long term sobriety- that another long-term run is possible, probable, and worth it.
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by Ultramarathoner
If you were told "very few acheive long term sobriety" at the begining of your six year run- would you have chosen not to try? Regardless of group affiliation we'll all interact with folks who uplift us- and those who don't. Lessons can be found in both groups of people. Data and statistics do not account for one's heart, spirit, and will. Drinking proves this individual right. Seems to me that's not your intention. Consider turning the message into positive motivation- and become the guy who several years from now will inspire those who have suffered a relapse after long term sobriety- that another long-term run is possible, probable, and worth it.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Originally Posted by Cecilia44
No, I wasn't really in AA. Not exactly. I have some AA friends and I adhere to many AA principles, but meetings for me consist more of on-line than anything.
It's a real long story as to why I relapsed and to make it short: It was kind of like three strikes and I was out. I had several big events happen one after another and after the third one, I said, "F*ck it!" And drank. I regret that decision.
The three events affected in major ways: Job, Home, Relationship. It was just too much at the time to handle. But alcohol didn't help "fix" any of it easier. I just flat out gave up.
Glad I don't feel like giving up anymore. It is never too late to get sober.
It's a real long story as to why I relapsed and to make it short: It was kind of like three strikes and I was out. I had several big events happen one after another and after the third one, I said, "F*ck it!" And drank. I regret that decision.
The three events affected in major ways: Job, Home, Relationship. It was just too much at the time to handle. But alcohol didn't help "fix" any of it easier. I just flat out gave up.
Glad I don't feel like giving up anymore. It is never too late to get sober.
Action is important for me. My friend and long distance sponsor has over 25 years and he does some real, action-based effort every day. At least a meeting. Often he is sponsoring two or three people. He does 12th step work and not a single day goes by he doesn't give himself reminders on why he chose sobriety and continues to honor that choice.
I think these are the things that provide us armor and sustainable strength against relapse.
I hope you'll give AA an honest shot. I bet you'll find it has much to offer if you are willing.
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Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,637
Also; remember that the principles of AA tell us we are to share OUR experience, strength and hope. Sometimes, a person in AA forgets this... And generalizes their experience as what another should or should do, what someone else's experience will be.
If an old timer says something like 'this time will be a lot harder' I try to respond with 'is that how it was for you? How did you manage to do it? Have you seem others have that challenge? What worked or didn't
Bottom line is we are all different but we share the same struggle and goal, with many similar experiences. Sometimes a person in AA will forget that it's not their job to scare or suggest negative things... The more you experience AA and learn about the principles - the more you realize and recognize when someone is offering opinion versus experience. nd the more you realize that may be THEIR experience but needn't be yours
If an old timer says something like 'this time will be a lot harder' I try to respond with 'is that how it was for you? How did you manage to do it? Have you seem others have that challenge? What worked or didn't
Bottom line is we are all different but we share the same struggle and goal, with many similar experiences. Sometimes a person in AA will forget that it's not their job to scare or suggest negative things... The more you experience AA and learn about the principles - the more you realize and recognize when someone is offering opinion versus experience. nd the more you realize that may be THEIR experience but needn't be yours
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Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: New England
Posts: 1,926
Originally Posted by least
I had twenty years sober and relapsed seven years ago. I am now coming up on five years sober.
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