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Old 10-23-2014, 02:00 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I say it isn't over until you give up! You haven't given up so just keep pressing on and don't worry about the stupid woman from AA. I have met a few like that in AA but there's a lot of jerky people everywhere.

"Just keep swimming." --- Dori (from "Finding Nemo")
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Old 10-23-2014, 02:19 PM
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Thanks Elle. I will keep swimming. ;-)

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Old 10-23-2014, 02:47 PM
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I make it a rule not to ask questions I may not like the answer to, Serenidad

Stats means nothing really...honestly.
It's down to us and how much effort we put in.

If you want to stay sober you will - you need to challenge that fear tho - that despair that makes you say eff it, it's too hard.

It is hard but it's not too hard - there's thousands of people here whose stories prove that to you Serenidad

you can do this

D
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Old 10-23-2014, 02:53 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Serenidad, I don't think it's at all helpful to hear that anyone can lose their sobriety at any time. You need to be told the truth, and the helpful truth. That is this: Anyone can get sober at any time! And that means YOU. The question of difficulty doesn't really matter anyway, does it?

You know how to do it. Don't listen to the nattering nabobs of negativity who stand in your way. Make your stand, believe in yourself, and launch!
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Old 10-23-2014, 03:00 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Let this experience make you stronger!

I once went to AA scared to death & not knowing if I would EVER get a day under my belt of spbriety and a lady chased me out of the meeting because I did not want to stay for the third meeting of the night. No dramatization here she chased me out of the AA meeting screaming...."you will die from this disease" waving the BB all the way to my car through my windshield (not even to just the door of the meeting) in a VERY public area.

She scared me out of AA for another couple years. I moved to a different town desperate for sobriety again and went to AA as a last resort. I fell in love with these people. They took me under their wings and helped me learn a new sober way of life. My point is each meeting/group offers something different. Shop around. This is YOUR recovery. You choose who, what, where, when you allow into your recovery world.

I told a couple of my AA friends the story of the AA woman in another town. They were beside themselves.

The only one who lost out on a lot of recovery time in that span between moves was me! I missed out of a lot of growth because of one frankly idiotic woman! Don't let this lady do the same to you. Some people say stuff and have no idea how it'll affect someone. She may have meant nothing by it...or maybe she did. Who knows?! But the most important thing here is; do NOT choose to drink over it!! You will be the one hurting in the end. Just dont call her again. Move on down the list and keep dialing

Hang in there Serenidad You had this for 5 years you are perfectly capable of having this forever
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Old 10-23-2014, 03:01 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by freshstart57 View Post
Serenidad, I don't think it's at all helpful to hear that anyone can lose their sobriety at any time. You need to be told the truth, and the helpful truth. That is this: Anyone can get sober at any time! And that means YOU. The question of difficulty doesn't really matter anyway, does it? You know how to do it. Don't listen to the nattering nabobs of negativity who stand in your way. Make your stand, believe in yourself, and launch!
Thanks Freshstart! I'm gonna make a Fresh start!

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Old 10-23-2014, 03:07 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I make it a rule not to ask questions I may not like the answer to, Serenidad Stats means nothing really...honestly. It's down to us and how much effort we put in. If you want to stay sober you will - you need to challenge that fear tho - that despair that makes you say eff it, it's too hard. It is hard but it's not too hard - there's thousands of people here whose stories prove that to you Serenidad you can do this D
Thanks Dee. I'm ready to go to a meeting tonight and finally humble myself and tell everyone I relapsed. It's gonna suck but I don't want to die! I need help. I am going to go to the meeting tonight and ask for help and try to get lots of phone numbers. We are only as sick as our secrets, right? If people laugh at me or insult me because I'm human and failed....screw them! This is MY life! Thx for the continued support! I WILL do this!

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Old 10-23-2014, 03:17 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by growpath View Post
Let this experience make you stronger! I once went to AA scared to death & not knowing if I would EVER get a day under my belt of spbriety and a lady chased me out of the meeting because I did not want to stay for the third meeting of the night. No dramatization here she chased me out of the AA meeting screaming...."you will die from this disease" waving the BB all the way to my car through my windshield (not even to just the door of the meeting) in a VERY public area. She scared me out of AA for another couple years. I moved to a different town desperate for sobriety again and went to AA as a last resort. I fell in love with these people. They took me under their wings and helped me learn a new sober way of life. My point is each meeting/group offers something different. Shop around. This is YOUR recovery. You choose who, what, where, when you allow into your recovery world. I told a couple of my AA friends the story of the AA woman in another town. They were beside themselves. The only one who lost out on a lot of recovery time in that span between moves was me! I missed out of a lot of growth because of one frankly idiotic woman! Don't let this lady do the same to you. Some people say stuff and have no idea how it'll affect someone. She may have meant nothing by it...or maybe she did. Who knows?! But the most important thing here is; do NOT choose to drink over it!! You will be the one hurting in the end. Just dont call her again. Move on down the list and keep dialing Hang in there Serenidad You had this for 5 years you are perfectly capable of having this forever
Wow cow! That's the craziest story I've ever heard! The people that seem to be the craziest lately are those "old timers" with 25 plus years. All my bad AA experiences lately have come from them. Not sure why??? They need to get off their high horses and remember where they came from! Ugh.

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Old 10-23-2014, 03:25 PM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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I think you need to remember that people are people, even in AA, Serenidad.
If you equate the individual for the organisation, AA is not going to be much use to you.

The message you got - that there are very few who come back - might have motivated someone else, who knows?...it just didn't work for you.

There are good kind wise people around - again, even in AA...look for them
D
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Old 10-23-2014, 03:46 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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I think you're going to have to find your own truth in this, Serenidad. I'm one of those people who has to find her own way through things, sometimes taking advice, sometimes trial and error. There are times in life when you have to go within to find the inner wisdom there. At least, it was true for me.

My "higher power" turned out to be my innermost, wise self. She kind of knew all along that things weren't ok, and that better choices were to be made. So I have to take what others say with a huge grain of salt. Others' experiences are going to color their advice to you, of course. And AA has a "program" and as well as the acceptable program lingo and language. Many times these AA's are parroting what they've heard and have been taught to think and say. And that's not necessarily a bad thing for some The way I see it, is for those who need it, the lingo is a strength. The slogans are good early on especially.

I found that the dramatic predictions and forecasts have some element of truth in them, but weren't always applicable to my situation.

You can get sober today and stay sober. Find what you need in the program, in the fellowship, at SR, and wherever else you get support and run with it. Sometimes we have to piece together a way that works best for us
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Old 10-23-2014, 05:20 PM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I think you need to remember that people are people, even in AA, Serenidad. If you equate the individual for the organisation, AA is not going to be much use to you. The message you got - that there are very few who come back - might have motivated someone else, who knows?...it just didn't work for you. There are good kind wise people around - again, even in AA...look for them D
Thanks Dee! I went to a meeting tonight and humbled myself enough to tell a few people I was back after a year-long relapse. It actually felt good. Lying for a year is really hard and lonely.

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Old 10-23-2014, 05:25 PM
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Originally Posted by SoberJennie View Post
I think you're going to have to find your own truth in this, Serenidad. I'm one of those people who has to find her own way through things, sometimes taking advice, sometimes trial and error. There are times in life when you have to go within to find the inner wisdom there. At least, it was true for me. My "higher power" turned out to be my innermost, wise self. She kind of knew all along that things weren't ok, and that better choices were to be made. So I have to take what others say with a huge grain of salt. Others' experiences are going to color their advice to you, of course. And AA has a "program" and as well as the acceptable program lingo and language. Many times these AA's are parroting what they've heard and have been taught to think and say. And that's not necessarily a bad thing for some The way I see it, is for those who need it, the lingo is a strength. The slogans are good early on especially. I found that the dramatic predictions and forecasts have some element of truth in them, but weren't always applicable to my situation. You can get sober today and stay sober. Find what you need in the program, in the fellowship, at SR, and wherever else you get support and run with it. Sometimes we have to piece together a way that works best for us
Thanks Jennie! Finally got the courage to go to a meeting tonight. I just listened & told a few people about my relapse. It was very comforting to be around other alcoholics. I missed that! It almost feels like your "home" in a weird way because you don't have to hide who or what you are. You're at an AA meeting so it's pretty clear why you're there. Haha

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Old 10-23-2014, 05:32 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Woo hoo!! You are winning...and living proof it ain't over till it's OVER!

Reading your thread reminded me why SR is a daily stop for me...always inspiring to see a fellow alcoholic get a win in their column! Good job! You were so brave to attend the meeting and you should be very proud.

We get by with a little help from our friends
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Old 10-23-2014, 05:47 PM
  # 34 (permalink)  
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I am sooo glad you went back Serindad and found some peace tonight!

Stay true to yourself!

Remember what Dee said, people are people and no matter where ya are; AA, the grocery store, work, class etc ...."there will always be that one" I repeat in my head daily..."it takes all kinds" besides wouldn't it be boring if we were all the same!
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Old 10-23-2014, 06:23 PM
  # 35 (permalink)  
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You're right guys! There will always be weird/crazy people. I can't let that be an excuse to not go to meetings or drink anymore. I am giving them too much power. I just want to stay sober. If I continue to drink bad things are going to happen. I don't want that! Thx for every thing!

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Old 10-23-2014, 06:39 PM
  # 36 (permalink)  
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Hi Serindad,
I like what Fantail and Dee said. And everybody else too actually.

You asked her a question and she answered from her perspective. You asked the same question here and got more perspectives.

I think the real question to ask now is which perspectives will serve you best and help you get you where you want to be? In all truth from my perspective it could be any one of the many to pick from. I could use the few and it's hard to motivate me to say I will be one more and hard is okay..I'll be determined. Or I could grab on to the positive ones and feel motivation from a different view of feeling I'm not alone and anything is possible.

Some days I need one and some days I need the other. Some days I need both.

I'm glad you are feeling better and got more perspectives to think about. Great job doing that. Really. You have a great thread going here of how you worked through this. Very helpful.
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Old 10-23-2014, 07:04 PM
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Originally Posted by 360shoes View Post
Hi Serindad, I like what Fantail and Dee said. And everybody else too actually. You asked her a question and she answered from her perspective. You asked the same question here and got more perspectives. I think the real question to ask now is which perspectives will serve you best and help you get you where you want to be? In all truth from my perspective it could be any one of the many to pick from. I could use the few and it's hard to motivate me to say I will be one more and hard is okay..I'll be determined. Or I could grab on to the positive ones and feel motivation from a different view of feeling I'm not alone and anything is possible. Some days I need one and some days I need the other. Some days I need both. I'm glad you are feeling better and got more perspectives to think about. Great job doing that. Really. You have a great thread going here of how you worked through this. Very helpful.
Thanks 360! I truly want to stay sober and am ready to go to any length to keep it. I feel so bad for some of the people who have posted on here tonight that they have been drinking for days and days. They sound so hopeless. I know if I keep drinking my disease will progress to that and it sounds like hell! I am going to pray very hard for them and all of the people who are suffering with addiction/alcoholism. :-( Hate this disease! It's killed many of my friends and family members (and they were young) and it tried to kill me and is trying to kill many many more.

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Old 10-23-2014, 07:09 PM
  # 38 (permalink)  
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Never. Give. Up.
That was nasty of that woman to say to you. YOU know that you can do it because you've done it before. Make tomorrow day 1 and keep moving forward.
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Old 10-23-2014, 07:22 PM
  # 39 (permalink)  
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I have to believe that a long period of sobriety has to be helpful to you, Serenidad. I quit drinking a little over a year ago, after drinking for 27 years starting at the age of 15. I had no idea what sobriety even looked or felt like. I wasn't really sure sobriety was something worth wanting, because I had no adult experience with sobriety. Now I truly know how valuable it is and how much better life is as a sober person. So, if I were to fall off the wagon, I would understand much better what I had given up, losing my sobriety. To me, that knowledge has to be powerful to you and me and me and people like us. It makes the goal a little easier to fathom?!?

Further, when I was first getting sober, I thought of people who I knew, such as my great grandmother, who quit drinking without the help of AA, books, off-line support, family support, etc. She dug deep and I knew if she could do it, I could do it. Focus on the positives and the goal. You can do this!! You have already proven it to yourself!
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Old 10-23-2014, 07:36 PM
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It isn't over for you until you give up on yourself. We are human, and will make mistakes from time to time. Best thing to do is brush off the slip up, and saddle up for tomorrow.
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