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Scared!!! Just need some hope..... Yesterday I had a bad craving and called a woman from AA with over 30 years of sobriety. I told her I had almost 6 years of sobriety and relapsed exactly one year ago. I went on to tell her I have really been struggling to get sober again and I asked her if she has seen many people relapse after 5 + years of sobriety and get sober again? Her answer was: "VERY FEW and it's gonna be REALLY HARD!" What is wrong with these AA people??????? So...some friends were going out for drinks and invited me I said "F" it! I'll go drink too since it sounds like I'll never get sober again anyway. I don't want to die! I'm so scared! I'm crying and can't stop. God help me. Please pray for me. Is this true? Is it over for me? Has anyone ever gotten sober again after a relapse (after 5 + years)? I'm really starting to hate AA! Thx in advance. :-( Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery |
Anyone of us can relapse at any time. Don't give up for a mistake. You had 5 years. That's incredible. |
Nope, it isn't over for you. I had 13 years clean and sober and relapsed. It took me 8 years to realize sobriety worked much better for me and everyone else in my life. In mid November of this year I will be sober for 2 years. I don't remember this round of recovery being harder than the first. It's always a challenge but it certainly isn't impossible. Don't give up....I didn't :) |
Of course it is not over for you. Please distract yourself, do something, go out, call someone, talk to us here. Your thinking is making you hopeless and negative. Try to get these negative ideas off your mind. Just one example I can thing out of my head is a man in my AA group, he was 11 years sober, relapsed and then he JUST celebrated his 6 years of sobriety back this month and he could not be happier or stronger. You can do it, just believe in yourself :) |
Whether we have 5 minutes or 5 years...The message i've been hearing is pretty clear. Your job is to NOT drink TODAY. That's it. That's all. You did an amazing job of that for 5 years! That's way beyond any amount of time I've been able to gain. I've got 3 weeks today. But the message is the same. Your job is to not drink today. Are you up to it? |
Silliness. I was sober for 7 years and relapsed and am now getting sober again (albeit, it is a struggle, but it was a struggle back then too so???) It can be done, of course. Is it hard? Sure. It was hard then, hard now, what's the difference? It isn't over until it's really over. Which isn't now. ;) |
When I was newly sober, I misinterpreted things that people who were trying to help me had to say. Many people are anxious about our getting sober, and so speak in extremes as a defense against their own anxiety. The truth is that they were often right, though perhaps overly dramatic, in what they had to say. When someone said that alcoholism is a potentially fatal condition, what I heard was that I was going to die were I to pick up another drink. But I can tell you from my own experience, after a three-year relapse following twenty five years of at first sobriety and then abstinence, that getting sober again was the most difficult challenge I've faced in my life. Why would I expect that it would be easier? I didn't, and being right about that didn't make things any easier for me. There is no good, nothing to look forward to, and many things to regret for those of us who are drinking and, due in part to powerful denial, many of us only grasp this intellectually. Try not to get involved in the drama that many people's words convey and instead search for the truths that may apply to you. They're only trying to save your life. Had I not gotten sober again when I did, I surely would have died from this affliction. |
Originally Posted by soberclover
(Post 4971187)
Nope, it isn't over for you. I had 13 years clean and sober and relapsed. It took me 8 years to realize sobriety worked much better for me and everyone else in my life. In mid November of this year I will be sober for 2 years. I don't remember this round of recovery being harder than the first. It's always a challenge but it certainly isn't impossible. Don't give up....I didn't :) Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery |
Originally Posted by Cecilia44
(Post 4971197)
Silliness. I was sober for 7 years and relapsed and am now getting sober again (albeit, it is a struggle, but it was a struggle back then too so???) It can be done, of course. Is it hard? Sure. It was hard then, hard now, what's the difference? It isn't over until it's really over. Which isn't now. ;) Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery |
People like to generalise. It makes them feel better, putting people into boxes, it's easier to understand the world that way. But there's only one you. So the question is, are you going to drink today? Whatever anybody else does, only you answers that question. I think you'll make the right choice. Tom. |
No, I wasn't really in AA. Not exactly. I have some AA friends and I adhere to many AA principles, but meetings for me consist more of on-line than anything. It's a real long story as to why I relapsed and to make it short: It was kind of like three strikes and I was out. I had several big events happen one after another and after the third one, I said, "F*ck it!" And drank. I regret that decision. The three events affected in major ways: Job, Home, Relationship. It was just too much at the time to handle. But alcohol didn't help "fix" any of it easier. I just flat out gave up. Glad I don't feel like giving up anymore. It is never too late to get sober. |
Originally Posted by Thomasthetank
(Post 4971271)
People like to generalise. It makes them feel better, putting people into boxes, it's easier to understand the world that way. But there's only one you. So the question is, are you going to drink today? Whatever anybody else does, only you answers that question. I think you'll make the right choice. Tom. Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery |
Originally Posted by Cecilia44
(Post 4971278)
No, I wasn't really in AA. Not exactly. I have some AA friends and I adhere to many AA principles, but meetings for me consist more of on-line than anything. It's a real long story as to why I relapsed and to make it short: It was kind of like three strikes and I was out. I had several big events happen one after another and after the third one, I said, "F*ck it!" And drank. I regret that decision. The three events affected in major ways: Job, Home, Relationship. It was just too much at the time to handle. But alcohol didn't help "fix" any of it easier. I just flat out gave up. Glad I don't feel like giving up anymore. It is never too late to get sober. Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery |
Get the right plan and support in place Serenidad, and you can make it happen. There is no inevitability in any of this, you hold the key to writing the outcome, the next chapter to your life. You can do this!! :) |
I realy don't think its any harder for someone that drank again after years of sobriety than someone doin it for the first time. either way getting sober can be a fight. no, its not over for you. it would help to get some humility and get to a meeting, get a sponsor and work the steps. im reading this statement: I'll go drink too since it sounds like I'll never get sober again anyway. and im wonderin if this is an excuse? maybe just another thing to blame for drinking? |
This reminds me of a time when I tagged along with a religious friend to his bible study group. We read a passage and then the leader of the group interpreted it. His interpretation was really intense: he basically said that if you have a friend who calls themselves a Christian but is doing something outside of what a Christian's supposed to do, you need to cut them out of your lives. A girl was sobbing because her boyfriend had a drug problem and she wanted to help him and the leader kept telling her she couldn't associate with him anymore. The thing is this group leader was a music professor, not a priest or even a biblical historian or whatnot. I read the passage over and over again and I could NOT at all see where he was getting this interpretation. Anyway your story just reminds me of that. Sometimes people with good intentions who lack the right training can accidentally do more harm than good. This woman wants to help you but she's not a doctor or a researcher. Maybe she knew one or two people who had trouble getting back on the wagon. That doesn't mean much at all! Maybe people who fell off the wagon got sober outside of AA and she never heard about it. Or maybe she never met the success stories in the first place. So I hope that girl helped her boyfriend get into rehab, and I hope that you brush off this woman's opinion and don't let it shake your confidence. :) If anything I'd think that having such a long sober stretch before sets you up for success, because you know the good things that will come to you if you stick it out. |
Originally Posted by tomsteve
(Post 4971437)
I realy don't think its any harder for someone that drank again after years of sobriety than someone doin it for the first time. either way getting sober can be a fight. no, its not over for you. it would help to get some humility and get to a meeting, get a sponsor and work the steps. im reading this statement: I'll go drink too since it sounds like I'll never get sober again anyway. and im wonderin if this is an excuse? maybe just another thing to blame for drinking? Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery |
Originally Posted by fantail
(Post 4971455)
This reminds me of a time when I tagged along with a religious friend to his bible study group. We read a passage and then the leader of the group interpreted it. His interpretation was really intense: he basically said that if you have a friend who calls themselves a Christian but is doing something outside of what a Christian's supposed to do, you need to cut them out of your lives. A girl was sobbing because her boyfriend had a drug problem and she wanted to help him and the leader kept telling her she couldn't associate with him anymore. The thing is this group leader was a music professor, not a priest or even a biblical historian or whatnot. I read the passage over and over again and I could NOT at all see where he was getting this interpretation. Anyway your story just reminds me of that. Sometimes people with good intentions who lack the right training can accidentally do more harm than good. This woman wants to help you but she's not a doctor or a researcher. Maybe she knew one or two people who had trouble getting back on the wagon. That doesn't mean much at all! Maybe people who fell off the wagon got sober outside of AA and she never heard about it. Or maybe she never met the success stories in the first place. So I hope that girl helped her boyfriend get into rehab, and I hope that you brush off this woman's opinion and don't let it shake your confidence. :) If anything I'd think that having such a long sober stretch before sets you up for success, because you know the good things that will come to you if you stick it out. Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery |
Well intentioned people can say really stupid things... Back in 2006, I attended my first AA meeting (after a meeting or two in my early 20's that didn't gel at all). I was terrified and shaking and well..just ya...lost. I only spoke to one woman at that meeting. She was sitting in the chair beside the place I snuck into trying to fade into the wall unnoticed. When I told her it was my first meeting she said. "well, it's going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better". Um...really??? Did she really think she needed to say this to a terrified, anxious person at their first meeting? Obviously she thought it was helpful. And it wasn't. Not for me. Despite her dire warning..I did got to another meeting..a few months worth actually. I digress. Nevertheless...I myself would NEVER say that to anyone attempting to enter recovery. The woman you spoke with was perhaps in a negative headspace that day. Or maybe she's always that way. Who knows. She is just ONE person. Talk to someone else. |
Originally Posted by Nuudawn
(Post 4971642)
Well intentioned people can say really stupid things... Back in 2006, I attended my first AA meeting (after a meeting or two in my early 20's that didn't gel at all). I was terrified and shaking and well..just ya...lost. I only spoke to one woman at that meeting. She was sitting in the chair beside the place I snuck into trying to fade into the wall unnoticed. When I told her it was my first meeting she said. "well, it's going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better". Um...really??? Did she really think she needed to say this to a terrified, anxious person at their first meeting? Obviously she thought it was helpful. And it wasn't. Not for me. Despite her dire warning..I did got to another meeting..a few months worth actually. I digress. Nevertheless...I myself would NEVER say that to anyone attempting to enter recovery. The woman you spoke with was perhaps in a negative headspace that day. Or maybe she's always that way. Who knows. She is just ONE person. Talk to someone else. Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery |
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