Dee74

The being bored thing s pretty easily fixed. If you find you're still doing the same kinds of things you did drinking- lying around, watching TV etc... chances are youll be bored without alcohol to numb you out.

Use your imagination. Think of fun healthy non alcohol thing to do

The mnd chattering thing - yeah. Nothing to do but get used to your mind going a million miles an hour. I got used to it. I use it to my advantage now. You'll learn that too

If it's chattering about alcohol, try urge surfing. I'm on a different computer right now but I'll add the link later

D

Hawks

Meditation is good.

Takes practice, like learning to juggle four balls, that isn't going to be learnt in an hour.

So the first time you try, you might think, this doesn't work.

But try every day, try twice a day.

Each time you get better, until you can sit for twenty or thirty minutes with no voices.

No voices is spooky & serene at the same time.

Good luck with it.

fini

CG,
if you keep going and don't drink, there's stuff to look forward to.

if you know that your chattering brain is an issue, then you need to find or build tools to deal with that, so that drinking again isn't the only thing you know to go to.
for some, exercise calms. meditating does it for others. deep breathing, too. focusing on a specific task. going to a meeting. listening to music. yoga. gardening.
all kinds of things can work.

esinger

A slip is just a slip. Don't let it discourage you from your goal. It get's better slowly. I'm a few weeks from two years and I rarely think of drinking. Sometimes I think it would be nice to enjoy a good bear or some expensive bourbon but that would probably lead to a handle of 9 dollar vodka and a divorce and a lost job and liver failure and......... When I think of how much better my life is sober I laugh at these thoughts

Be good to yourself, breath!!

VikingGF

It quiets down.

Mountainmanbob

are you still what you would call sober ?

MM

countrygirl2014

Yes I am sober. I feel regret for what I did and my chatter insisted I have another. I fought it and didn't. I don't want to take back what I did, I want to learn from it. I know more of what I'm in for now.

Mountainmanbob

My sponsor taught me that sometimes my worse experiences were my best experiences -- why -- because they were so convincing.

I wish you well in your continued sobriety.

Mountainmanbob

roguedreams

Along the lines of worst experiences being the best ones ...

My therapist used to say that relapse is a part of recovery.

That has to be taken in the right light though - not as an excuse to relapse, but as a constructive tool to be used in the continuance of recovery.

Hang tough, chica!

LeeJane

It did for me. I brought in new interests and the 'chatter' eventually went. Eating well, good hydration, exercising, good self care, etc really helped me.

Wishing you well.

gratitude28

Yes, Country. Life gets better and better and there will be stretches when you don't think about it at all. You have to get through this beginning, but I can tell you I have had years when I have not even considered drinking. For years, I couldn't have told you if there was alcohol in my house. My husband even drank beer and it didn't matter one bit.
Beth

IOAA2

In my experience, being sober for a lot of years, I totally disagree with relapses being part of recovery because over the years far too many don’t/can’t make it back for the long term. It may be a good REMEMBER WHEN, if we recover.
I’m grateful that I did and it required a lot of work and changes beyond just not drinking today as I became more interested in the long term.

BE WELL

Inchworm

So often we try to do everything with the mind when we want it to calm down. Use your body, too. Keep both in balance to help with the chatter. Be well, Country Girl!

Hobbers

See, and I know I am new/maybe too new to weigh in here, but comments like this bug me- "working on recovery again" in particular strikes me as terribly harsh. Like you are implying that she ever stopped/that a beer equals she failed/'blew it'.


This 'one and done' thing troubles me deeply as hyper judge-y. I am sure many will disagree, but from what I read, I saw this-

"I made it 14 days and didn't drink."
"I slipped a tad, had one drink, nursed it slowly, and DIDN'T keep going."
"I'm here now, continuing to work on my struggles, and I am not/have not drank since."
"I want to, and I am still getting better/learning more about myself."

fini

My therapist used to say that relapse is a part of recovery.

i don't know your therapist, so don't know what he/she means when saying this. i suppose his/her intention is along the lines of saying that relapse is not unusual in recovery. and that is so indeed. it seems that often people relapse. it happens.

but it is NOT PART of recovery in the way wheels are part of a bicycle.
it is not a given, it is not necessary, it is not to be expected for oneself.

it would be much more accurate to say that relapse is part of addiction.

fini

"working on recovery again" in particular strikes me as terribly harsh. Like you are implying that she ever stopped/that a beer equals she failed/'blew it'.


Hobbers,
you're not "too new" to weigh in anywhere...you're speaking from where you're at.

this will possibly bug you, too, but when someone sets out to not drink and then drinks again, they did indeed fail at what they had set out to do, which was not drink. whether it's one drink, or ten, or sipped slowly or guzzled...no matter as far as THAT is concerned: they drank.

something went 'wrong', so to speak, in the plan for how to stay sober, for what to do when you really want to drink, for how to deal with things that came up.

is it great there was only one drink and not 13 or days/months/years more? yes. absolutely. from where i'm sitting...i couldn't do it. or, more accurately, i wouldn't want to do it, i wouldn't be interested in just one.

and others here have spoken eloquently to how "the voice" can use the one slow drink to continue insisting that there's control, instead of looking at the lack of "control" which preceded having a drink at all.

Hobbers, sorry for the long post, and/but i hope you'll look at just why this upsets you so. that it does speaks about you. fears, maybe?

you can't read my tone, so just to say i'm being sincere.

AncientMariner

Have you ever read 'Feel the fear...and do it anyway' by Susan Jeffers?

She talks about the 'chatterbox' and ways to combat it in one of the chapters. Extremly positive and life changing book.

ghostdad

My mind is also very active. I think its from all of those years of being numbed and now it has been freed. You did two weeks which is awesome. I don't think one beer counts as a relapse but its a slippery slope and definitely a slip but you posted and you can do this.

countrygirl2014

That's how I feel. It's been hushed for sooooo long, it has a lot to say.

Dee74

Here's the thing tho...

I spent years rationalising that one beer really wasn't much of a difference from no beers...or 2 beers.

It's classic alcoholic bait and switch...if 2 beers isn't that much different... then 3 beers isn't either...

See where I'm going with this Hobbers?
I did that for years.

One of the greatest *O*M*G* epiphanies I ever had was when I finally realised it's the first drink, not the last, that causes all the trouble.

I can understand that it may seem like sometimes I or others are beating people up over what seems a small slip..

I'm really not...honest

I'm just trying to help folks see they're being lied to...by themselves...just like I was

D