I had a beer
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,552
It really doesn't matter. Never have the one. It didn't taste good. Yeah I only had one, and the chatter stopped for about 24 hours, but it returns with a vengeance. It's now a constant "you had one, you can handle this" and "I shouldn't have done it and ruined the time I was proud of" and "I feel guilty and it wasn't even worth it" and "you did two weeks, drink and do two more" and "next time have two"....I could go on and on and on.
I know some of you could die with a slip up, or whatever you want to call it.
I know some of you could lose everything with one sip.
Those of you that haven't hit that point yet, or the point of endless chatter, it's coming. Continued use progresses this monster to the same destination. And that goes for everyone. It is a highly addictive, socially acceptable poison. You DO NOT need it to survive.
Thanks to my slowly sipped, just one, I have quadrupled the work I have to do to become the person I want to be.
Lesson learned.
I know some of you could die with a slip up, or whatever you want to call it.
I know some of you could lose everything with one sip.
Those of you that haven't hit that point yet, or the point of endless chatter, it's coming. Continued use progresses this monster to the same destination. And that goes for everyone. It is a highly addictive, socially acceptable poison. You DO NOT need it to survive.
Thanks to my slowly sipped, just one, I have quadrupled the work I have to do to become the person I want to be.
Lesson learned.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Grayslake, IL
Posts: 732
Well Miss Country, here's how I see it, and maybe this will shut your AV's yap next time. If I could drink, my AV says one glass of wine, you'll be fine. One glass of wine...when it took half of an adult juice box in the past to buzz (yup, I drank the boxed crap). Now, one glass of anything is just a tease. If I stop at one, I'll just be pissed off bc I can't nurse my buzz. My thing is, why even start drinking at all, then?
Good luck to you
Bunnex
Good luck to you
Bunnex
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 1,552
Originally Posted by bunnezjp 
Well Miss Country, here's how I see it, and maybe this will shut your AV's yap next time. If I could drink, my AV says one glass of wine, you'll be fine. One glass of wine...when it took half of an adult juice box in the past to buzz (yup, I drank the boxed crap). Now, one glass of anything is just a tease. If I stop at one, I'll just be pissed off bc I can't nurse my buzz. My thing is, why even start drinking at all, then? Good luck to you Bunnex
BunnexI was on here in March and only made it three days. I'm back as of two weeks ago and don't know what AV is. I see it all the time and understand what it is but what does it stand for?
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by countrygirl2014
That's how I feel. It's been hushed for sooooo long, it has a lot to say.
When we enter the 24/7 stream of consciousness...oh my, we can be sometimes overwhelmed with active thought since we ain't checking out on a regular basis. You're right...your neglected and hushed mind has a helluva lot to say. I know that sometimes I am downright proud of my own insights into self sometimes. I am proud when I can look back at something I endured and actually glean wisdom from the experience. I can look back and say "oh my..I was totally in fear right there".
I hope you look into the AV stuff as suggested. For me, I find strength in knowing when I am in my "addictive mind" rather than when I am in my good healthy spirit that wants what is right and good and true...
But sometimes, it is hard to discern between the two. That's where the work comes in. Sometimes I just have to get through the crave..by whatever means possible..to be able to come out on the other side and realize what was actually going on with me when a "drink sounded like a good idea for what ailed me".
It's good stuff...hard stuff..but good stuff.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 315
Originally Posted by countrygirl2014
Does it eventually quiet down? Not that that is going to change my sobriety, it would be nice to have something to look forward to.
The weird thing is I always drank to relieve anxiety. But alcohol ended up causing anxiety! Racing thoughts, guilt, night sweats and nightmares, feeling jittery until I could drink again. Without alcohol, a lot more peace is possible.
Good luck!
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 443
Just noticed something. You ask what the AV is... Look at the way you framed this previous conversation in your head:
The "I" in those sentences is countrygirl2014.
The entity that uses "you" in those sentences is the AV.
Originally Posted by countrygirl2014
It's now a constant "you had one, you can handle this" and "I shouldn't have done it and ruined the time I was proud of" and "I feel guilty and it wasn't even worth it" and "you did two weeks, drink and do two more" ....
The entity that uses "you" in those sentences is the AV.
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