"Accidentally" saw news about an ex....

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09-09-2014, 08:08 AM

# 41 (permalink)

Lola23

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Join Date: Jan 2014

Location: Somewhere on the East Coast

Posts: 579

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jupiters

Hi Lola - I'm glad to see you didn't drink and seem to be in better spirits today. I was just talking to my counsellor last night about "comparing"...as this is a HUGE HUGE obstacle for me as well. (I suspect it is for many of us as I read)
I don't know where or why I feel like I am not enough but I do. FB is a huge trigger for feelings of unworthiness and I am considering deleting or at least deactivating my account for awhile. Having to read/see pics of friends all living these lives with homes and kids and travel...it really messes with my mind. Like WHY not me? What did I do? Why I am almost 38, living in a small apt with no kids, struggling to make ends meet and deal with this addiction...and the record goes on and on and on....I don't resent anybody or wish them unhappiness - but I do feel, irked I guess.
So, now I try to find the things in my life I need to be grateful for instead of ruminating on all the things I DON'T have. It's hard

*HUGS*
we can do this!!

and yes, Dee nailed it.

Yep on all of those...so much similarity...down to the age. Give or take a couple of years, but who's counting

And I know, I need to focus on what I do have...b/c I do. But yea its hard. We need to be reminded to do it from time to time though.

09-09-2014, 09:09 AM

# 42 (permalink)

Jupiters

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Join Date: May 2014

Location: Canada

Posts: 2,449

it is hard, it's way harder than I ever imagine. Re-wiring the brain is not an easy feat!

09-09-2014, 09:18 AM

# 43 (permalink)

Soberjoy1

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Join Date: Aug 2014

Location: Down South

Posts: 709

I deactivated my FB two months ago. I think it breeds narcissism and comparison. I don't miss it at all! I think anyone struggling with feeling inferior due to drinking, past mistakes, regrets, etc. might be better off without it. I know I am.

09-09-2014, 09:20 AM

# 44 (permalink)

Jupiters

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Join Date: May 2014

Location: Canada

Posts: 2,449

Before I do that, I have to spend a good afternoon copying pics off there. LOL. I lived in Switzerland for 4 years and most of my pics are just uploaded on there. I think the next rainy weekend when I'm stuck indoors, I will do that. I think at least de activating for a bit will help. I try to NOT log on there, but it too is like a drug.
thanks salgal

09-09-2014, 11:14 AM

# 45 (permalink)

NoJimmy

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Join Date: Nov 2013

Posts: 370

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lola23

Funny, my mother has always told me this too. Not related to this particular instance specifically, but when someone does something that hurts you (whether they intended to or not isn't relevant)...you pray that good things will come their way and they find happiness in their life. I'm not all that religious but I do believe in spirit and karma and healing through some sort of higher power...so I actually tried that this morning and I'll be honest, even holding that thought in my head felt excruciating. But this is a good idea, and I'm going to try it.

Learning how to forgive has been one of the best gifts from this experience. I was a very angry dude, it's taken some time for me to learn to let go of the anger and resentment I had toward people who hurt or offended me. There was no one I was angrier with than myself, don't forget to forgive yourself.