breezeblock

For 27 years, alcohol has controlled my life. I was 14 when I had my first drink, and sometime this morning, I had my last. Jesus, just typing that is scary.

For many years in my 20's, I drank every day. I knew I was an alcoholic, planned on an early death, and was OK with that. I couldn't imagine life without alcohol. I was a miserable, selfish person. I took what I wanted, said what I wanted, did whatever I wanted - all because of booze. I was the life of every party, bought booze and drugs for many people, all to make me feel better about myself. If I wasn't under the influence of something, I was not comfortable.

Every day of my life I think about alcohol, when I drink, I don't know how to stop. I can't dump out any booze, even finishing other peoples drinks for them. I don't keep any in my house, because when I do have some around, it constantly calls to me.

My wife was pregnant with our youngest child 14 years ago when I stopped drinking - so much. I resigned myself to only drinking on the weekends - once or twice a month. That progressed to getting to every weekend, and gradually more. Alcohol is a staple of so many parts of my extended family, that when we get together, we drink like crazy. I tied a pretty good one early this morning, with them. This was only the 3rd time I drank since May 1st, but it was enough.

Today, my wife told me she is ready to leave me. I need to be sober.

Soberwolf

This is what changed it for me my gf moved out and said I'm not watching you do this to yourself no more

She stayed gone and thought I was never coming back

Thank god I did !!!

Stay sober it might seem bad at first but trust me I'm 13 months sober getting close to being top of my game

Stay sober and you will see life in a new light your going to be OK

Really glad I read that post and I want to thank you for writing that

It took balls to do that and if you just want your life back without the alcohol just give it a lil time read some posts in the forum and make a couple more posts it may help you

Wishing you all the strength you need to help yourself

Brothers in arms

least

Welcome to the family. You sound ready to get sober for good, and I hope the support here can help you do that.

Learning to live sober takes some effort, but is very much worth it.

NorMar

Boy breezeblock, have you found the right place. I am fairly new here, been sober about 4 years, but the temptation is never too far away. I find strength to stay the sober course here, and there are lots of people here to help you get where you want to be. Post often, let everyone know how you are doing. People here DO care. Support is always here. Be strong.

Stiv

Keep posting, this site has people who understand.

Resolv

Breezeblock,

Scared is good, assuming you choose fight, not flight. Recognize the feeling in your gut for what it is. It's adrenaline to empower you to fight better. Fight the good fight & take no enemies. God speed.

breezeblock

Thanks for the support! I find it very inspiring to see such a community of help! I haven't been tempted to drink, but have thought about it a lot. I have 2 major work events coming up and both will have alcohol as a part of them. It's going to be hard and weird to abstain, but part of me is looking forward to the challenge. The bigger part is going to want to join in.... I know I'll be successful in these challenges!

Tonymblue

Your story, my story. You can do it. Stay on, post and read. Like minded people here. Everyday i gleen good info from peoples experiences that truly help me in overcoming this disease.

alphaomega

There's some really great AA medtings in that neck of the woods. Is they an option for you ?

PurpleKnight

Like any part of Sober life, plan it to the nth degree, execute the plan, and you'll remain Sober, don't wing the plan on the day, have it well thought out beforehand!!

But all costs protect your Sobriety, your work colleagues are not more important than looking after YOU!!

Dee74

Welcome to SR breezeblock

There's a lot of support here - read around and post as much as you like - join the Class of September support thread if you like

D

Nuudawn

An honest, forthright post. Reads like a great start to me. I think a little fear in the mix is healthy. We all understand and I do believe we all find strength in that : )