foryoumyson

Well I relapsed over this weekend. When on a binge that ended last night. Now I'm at work hung over and beating myself up. I'm not sure why I do this to myself and put myself through misery. I guess I enjoy it I don't know. My girlfriend said to me I'm a failure as a boyfriend and worse of all as a father. That really hurt but it's the truth. Life hasn't always been easy I'm 23 years old and grew up around alcohol . That's the life that I've ever known . I thought it was normal to drink and relax. But it's not it's all a gimmick living this life sucks. I want to stop so bad but so far I can't I'm just holding myself back. I'm not sure what life's about anymore I need to change and I need it now.

ScottFromWI

Many of us have been there foryoumyson. You realize you need to change, that is good. You are reaching out for help as well here, that is also a positive step. Now you need to make the committment to stop and find a program or a plan that works for you. Have you considered AA or NA? Sometimes it takes local support. Check your local drug/addiction center too and see what resources they offer. Outpatient rehab or counseling might be a good choice too.

Bottom line, you need to make the choice to quit and accept that you cannot drink - help is there for along the way, but at the end of the day you are in charge of what happens.

foryoumyson

I was thinking about AA but I'm nervous about it idk. But I do need something else because I can't do this on my own. Once I get drinking in my mind I have to do it . I was doing good had about 5 days then the weekend came up and I lost control.

ScottFromWI

You will need to do things that you are not comfortable with to get sober, It's not just going to magically happen unfortunately. Realizing you cannot do this on your own is a big step - don't downplay that at all. It's certainly normal to feel nervous about AA because it's something different - and who knows if it will actuallly be what you end up doing long term, but you'll never know if you don't take action and try it. That's the key - taking action against your addiction rather than just waiting for it to come back and get you drinking again.

Wastinglife

At 23, you have have your whole life ahead of you. I was just finishing university at that age and had no real clue who I was. If you address your drinking now, you can avoid ruining a career, finances, and relationships like I did. I am 37 now, sober, but struggling to put back the pieces that alcohol shattered my life into. Have you reached out for help? AA, a therapist, rehab?

gettingsmarter

foryoumyson you are 23. Man I wish I had started to wake up then. You have time that a lot of us here on SR can never get back. Stay strong.

foryoumyson

I have not reached out for help I feel ashamed and embarrassed to reach out but I'm gonna have to put my pride aside well what evers left and get help

gettingsmarter

Speaking of pride.. I used to go home everyday, get wasted and end up quietly crying to myself thinking about what a looser I was. Now I go home and not get wasted and think of how else I can improve my life.
You said you grew up around alcohol. Stop the cycle for you and your kid.

Sasha4

I apologise if this sounds harsh, but your son is growing up around alcohol now too. You say thats the life you have only ever known. Is this all he is going to know too?

You are 23 years old.
Act now and get help and learn to live without alcohol.

Swallow your pride and go to AA, your doctor, SMART meetings, read up on AVRT. Do whatever it takes.
You say your ashamed, but how will you feel when your son is ashamed of the fact he has a dad who drinks too much and is sloppy and unreliable?

Think on, it does happen. There is a section here that especially deals with this.

I really wish you the best

hopeful4

It's going to hurt a lot more to deal with the ramifications of your drinking in dealing with your son. When you have to take him to counseling to get past all the hurt he will suffer from your drinking. And by your being an alcoholic, it makes the chances of him being an alcoholic much greater. I know you don't want that, break the chain.

Thepatman

The sooner the address this the more years you will have to build a healthy lifestyle and new memories.

I quit at 39 so I spent my adult life drunk.

You can do this!

Soberpotamus

That's an awesome realization. That's what it's all about. It's ok not to know exactly what life is about. Some people believe we find our own meaning in this life. I believe that.

Reach out for help, find what works for you whether it's a specific program, SR, counseling... and stick with it. You can live a sober life. You aren't too young to get sober... you are at an ideal age to get sober!

PurpleKnight

We gotta change up the plan to produce different results, something, anything, try something different and keep going at it!!

You can do this!!

Fly N Buy

Purple Knight always has very simple, eloquent posts. Change something!

I am not going to beat you up here formyson(well maybe a little) - I have no moral high ground. My only interest is to try and wake you up pal.

Here's your oldest post from December 2013
Well I've decided to clean up my act. I've been searching the web and came across this site . For the past 3 days I've been sober I've been coming here and reading posts a few times a day . Ive been drinking very heavy for the past 5 years every other day I recently had a son and I want to better my self and be his role model and I can't do that unless I'm sober. I want to lead him in the right directions and not make the wrong choices I did. I grew up with 2 drunks for parents and I thought it was normal to be drunk all the time . but its not normal and I'm on the verge of losing my family . so here I am and I need help . I'm 3 long days sober and that voice in my head is already going off . telling me I'm fine and I don't have a problem . but I'm tired of waking up in the morning with a hang over and telling my self I'll never drink again and hating my self . I need tips on how to keep my sobriety . I'm at work right now and I'm already thinking about drinking. I was scared to quit thinking to my self what am I going to do without my booze but these past 3 days I haven't felt better since I don't know how long ago . all of lies and broken promises and a lot of things I feel so guilty about .



You need two things - that's all. Willingness and desire - if and when you find these sobriety is highly likely. Until you do it's impossible. Hate to say that but it fact. Sobriety is not something you merely stumble over and catch like the flu. Of course unless your liver goes bad, you turn yellow and a doctor tells you death is imminent. Even then, many don't have the willingness and desire.

Each time you choose to drink again sobriety get further away as it kills your spirit.

Finally, you cannot quit drinking for someone else - this can get you in the door of AA or whatever you choose, but you must decide to quit for YOU.

There is a lot of good sobriety on these posts I have found. I am only approaching 60 days and it's taken me a long, long time.

I have picked up 4 24 hr chips in my life from AA. Three of which were over 20 years ago.I would go to a couple meetings, fool myself and then quit going. The last chip I picked up was 6/9/2014. I am now on track for 90 meetings in 90 days. I always tried to quit for my family. Here's the fallacy - Real Alkeyholics(me) are VERY SELFISH AND WILL NOT / CANNOT QUIT FOR OTHERS. Even though they(me) are not lying when they say this time for sure!

Most people like myself simply cannot do it on will power alone. PK is saying the same brain that tells you to drink can't tell you to stop! Something needs to be different.


Digest what I have posted please. If you are ready, you can do it -
You are among friends who give a S..T!

ElleDee

amen!!!

Fly N Buy

Yea - what ElleDee said! Brevity is not my strong suit!

Dee74

It's never too late to make a change foryoumyson - but just thinking about those changes isn't making them, y'know?

Bluntly, whatever you're doing now - it's simply not enough, man.

what else can you do?

D