DrunkTx

I must admit, when I read the original post, I thought it made complete sense at least to me, and I was astounded that so many people took issue with the phrasing. I must admit though that aborkie, when I read your last post, while I still agree with the original statement, I fear that you might be setting yourself up into believing that you don't really have a problem - hope not.

For me, it was a decision I had to make - I won't drink, and don't drink. It was a simple decision, acting on alcohol is bad, not acting is good. But not for one second do I doubt that if I can even smell alcohol, I run the risk of destroying my life. So yes - simple inaction saved my life.

NoJimmy

I try not to over think my sobriety. But my take is in early sobriety not drinking was all I had to do, simple, but not easy. Once I got a grip on that, I had to make major life changes and start dealing with the inner turmoil that I was medicating. Not drinking is only one piece of the puzzle IMO.

PurpleKnight

The first drink is my choice, after that alcohol does the choosing for me!! . . . therein lies my problem and solution . . . cut out that 1st drink!!

EndGameNYC

Taken together, the title you assigned to this thread and your comments that follow suggest that getting sober is a simple matter of deciding to put down the drink; doing "nothing," as you cryptically wrote. I don't see anything "tongue-in-cheek" about it. If it were true that sobriety only requires a simple decision to stop, I'm left to wonder how it is that it took you so long to do so?

You've also commented that you've tried to stop several times, and that you now have sixty days. As others have suggested, building a sober life is much more challenging and difficult than putting down the drink, and that the results of your early postmortem may be overly and prematurely optimistic.

If you've done much reading here or continue to do so, you'll likely discover that there's much more to sobriety than meets the eye.

aborkie

The point was to compare drinking to other life problems. There are many things to overcome in order to solve big problems in life that can arise, and sometimes there is no answer. Many people are trapped in poverty with no education, or have a disability. The list can go on forever. With drinking there is an easy answer to the problem. Why didn't I quit before? Obviously I didn't want to quit before.

aborkie

Yes, I appreciate the comment. I do and always will have a problem. It runs in my family also. Thanks.

EndGameNYC

Interesting. We always have options in life, regardless of the breadth of our deprivation and suffering. Even if I were to be permanently disabled, this does not remove my choice in terms of how I decide to deal with it.

Earlier you comment that "...my body does not want any part of alcohol. I just forced it down my throat for years." If you didn't want to quit, why the need to force it down your throat "for years?"

As I commented previously, your forecast for remaining sober, based on your "easy answer" and your other comments, may be prematurely optimistic.

aborkie

Yes I never enjoyed the guzzling of wine or vodka much. There were times I would get pains in my stomach from drinking too fast. I've always believed that my body does not need or want alcohol.

EndGameNYC

Yeah, me too. Until, as you've commented, I take the first drink.

It may not always be so simple, but it does get better.

grubby

It's SIMPLE......... but it is not easy. There is a difference between the two.

That's how i look at it anyway.

In a lot of ways it's similar to any other bad habit, minus the physical dependence part. Another example is quitting fast food and eating clean/green/healthy......... once again, SIMPLE - but not easy.

ru12

Well I can see the OP's point. Once I made the decision that I would never drink again and that I would never revisit that decision my drinking problem was finished. As stated all I had to do was not do something... and that was to not drink. But getting me to the point where I was willing to take that step was through enormous amounts of suffering. There was nothing easy about my path.

GracieLou

And I hope you understand that just as easily you can change your mind and decide not to quit. I have done this so many times I have lost count.

I can rationalize and justify my way right back into the bottle.

afloatsober

Morning (here)
I agree that stopping may just take a decision and not a positive action.
However staying stopped requires me to take action daily in order to sustain and strengthen my recovery.
If i stop doing this, then my next action will be to drink again.
IME
G

ESD907

This is my take on what aborkie said.. When you think of say building a home, you have plans, permits, it takes much work, much planning, etc. stopping drinking is just that, don't drink. yet its soooo hard. I get it. and WELCOME aborkie.

afloatsober

Yep
But sit in that home and do nothing to maintain it and pretty soon you are sitting in ruins....

jdooner

I actually see this post as yet another illusion just like drinking. I can just stop...maybe but is this the goal? For me this post seems to have lots of projections outward and very little reflection inward. Rationalizing our struggles with poverty stricken or the homeless, or even broken bones.

I agree that not drinking is as simple as not picking up a drink. Rarely, however, I have I seen an addict (including those with alcohol addiction here) that solve life's challenges by simply removing the substance. In fact, my life got much worse when I simply did not pick up the drink as the OP states.

What happens when alcohol or drugs or behaviors that are unhealthy are removed and life becomes worse, harder to manage? What then? How does one stay sober is a sober life is worse than an active life? Is this not one of the major reasons relapses happen?

If you then relapse is it really as easy at just not picking up the drink? Do you see the flaws in this simplicity if you are addicted to the substance? Its actually much more complicated than picking up a drink.

aborkie

How did life get much worse sober? Even when I quit for a few days my circumstances seemed to always improve.

GracieLou

For me they got worse because my escape was gone.

When I was stressed the first thing that came to mind was to have a drink. I know now that much of that stress was my own making because I was trying to control something. I was not living life I was trying to make it bend to suit me not me to suit it.

I had to change, life was not going to.

So it got worse because I was trying to still bend life without the escape from it.

Even in good times I still had to fight with my past anger and resentments. At about two months sober I was so angry I wanted to punch walls. I used to drink the anger away. You can't do that when you have decided to stop drinking.

I said I was going to not drink today many times but I always found something to drink over. Good and bad, didn't matter. By the evening I was at a bar or at home with a drink in my hand.

I did stop for 5 1/2 month once going to AA but I did not work the program. I was still angry. I was still resentful. I still wanted life to bend for me. I could not cope so I drank again. It took ten years to get back to the I want to quit stage and to be honest it was not I want to, it was I have to.

I am sure as I am sitting her typing this that I know I have another drunk in me but I do not have another recovery. It took a decade to get back, I won't come back again. I just don't feel it. This is it.

So I went to AA again and I am 16 months sober. I am happy. I have rid myself of the anger, the resentments and the pain. I no longer have the desire to drink. Even in bad times it does not cross my mind. I live life on life's terms.