New member, 18 years dry but still having trouble
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Welcome to SR Michael,
I got to AA and there are lots of people with double digits sobriety at my meeting.
A good way to make sober friends is also to do volunteer work in the community whether it is volunteering at a food bank (which I do), a community garden, a shelter >animal or human< etc....
It's a good way to get out of yourself and also to build your self esteem as well as to make new friends who obviously have interests other than drinking and drugging.
I got to AA and there are lots of people with double digits sobriety at my meeting.
A good way to make sober friends is also to do volunteer work in the community whether it is volunteering at a food bank (which I do), a community garden, a shelter >animal or human< etc....
It's a good way to get out of yourself and also to build your self esteem as well as to make new friends who obviously have interests other than drinking and drugging.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Mid-Atlantic USA
Posts: 2,441
Originally Posted by IOAA2 
At a far greater cost and no guarantee of positive results. AA is also a place where people understand people with drinking problems face to face. It’s not a social club but many close friends are possible if we allow it.
BE WELL
BE WELL
Of course, my comments assume that Ekym has some emotional issues that may be keeping him from enjoying a life without alcohol. I don't know that to be true; rather, I'm basing my opinions on the comments he made in his original post. That's all I can really do.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by Carlotta
Welcome to SR Michael,
I got to AA and there are lots of people with double digits sobriety at my meeting.
I got to AA and there are lots of people with double digits sobriety at my meeting.
I will think about the AA meetings in the future, I am thinking I might like to first try a therapist, to talk about this issue but really just finding this forum and reading through all of the wonderful threads for the day seams to have helped me more then one might believe. There really is allot to read and I seam to gaining quite an education just browsing around.
Thinking this through as I read, 18 years ago when I quit I told myself it was to set a good example for my newborn child (now 19) and not admitting to myself that I was an alcoholic I think is really where the problem stems. Now as she comes of age and I am no longer feeling obligated for some reason, to stay dry, funny that my brain is putting me through this now, ( I told myself for years that when or if she started to drink I would be "released" ) and now it's haunting me as I sort this out in my own head.
Although it worked well in my case to help me quit, I don't think I would recommend it because of this problem I now face. Coming to grips with the fact that she is becoming a young woman and that basically my "plan" failed somewhat ?? Other then the fact that during her childhood while she was growing up, she had a father to be there rather then the drunk I would have been otherwise.
I talked with her about it today, and that helped also. I don't want to pressure her to change her position or lifestyle, she is one of the few very good kids around and stays out of trouble and will be able to make her own choices about alcohol and drugs. I need to let go.
The problem is mine and not hers to bare.
ekym
Left the bottle behind 4/16/2015
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: NC
Posts: 1,416
Originally Posted by ekym
I don't believe it's necessarily the "not" drinking that promotes the anti-social issue's, although I sometimes feel if I were drunk then It might help bring out that witty and entertaining part of me that family members are constantly reminding me is missing from "their" lives, I just find that I don't know what I am supposed to say or do to keep up with the group. When your sober, how do you respond to the statement, "holy cow did we get sh*t faced last night" and "you should really try this x-brand drink, it's very good"
Oh, I defiantly need to stay vigilant, there is no doubt.
Thank you for the response
Oh, I defiantly need to stay vigilant, there is no doubt.
Thank you for the response
Do you really want to "keep up with the group?" Keep up with what, conversation you find meaningless? Do you want to be like them? Really? You don't have to feel superior just because you're taking care of yourself and looking out for your best interest. I can't say how I'd respond to the kind of conversation you mentioned because I'm not around that environment. Most of the people I've associated with now know of my problems with alcohol and have the respect not to make such comments to me. Is that maybe what this comes down to? Maybe your family doesn't respect you and your choice to not drink? It's all about what they want?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 20
Originally Posted by GetMeOut
Would you really want to sacrifice all you have gained from 18 years of sobriety to humor a bunch of drunks?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Canada
Posts: 93
Originally Posted by ekym
I know it sounds so un-real to someone who is only days dry or weeks to hear someone who has been away from it for so long still having trouble with parts of it. But I am surrounded by drinkers in my family and friends and I am still finding that I have the urges to try to be more like the rest of the group, to blend in and be more socially included. When if fact, I find people who drink have very little intelligent conversation's. I joined in the chat room here on the board and spoke with a few very nice people, thank you.
It was suggested that perhaps what I am lacking is sober people in my life? I don't want to be the anti-social person in the family, but it's really difficult to listen to the same stupid drink stories sometimes 3 or 4 times per night from the same person. We talk about what we drank last night, and the night before, how drunk we got last weekend, that we are looking foreword to getting drunk tonight, ect...
Anyone else think that it might help to seek out sober people? Should I try an AA meeting, church maybe or should I just open a bottle and join the rest? Where do I find sober people?
ekym
AKA Michael
It was suggested that perhaps what I am lacking is sober people in my life? I don't want to be the anti-social person in the family, but it's really difficult to listen to the same stupid drink stories sometimes 3 or 4 times per night from the same person. We talk about what we drank last night, and the night before, how drunk we got last weekend, that we are looking foreword to getting drunk tonight, ect...
Anyone else think that it might help to seek out sober people? Should I try an AA meeting, church maybe or should I just open a bottle and join the rest? Where do I find sober people?
ekym
AKA Michael
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