justsomeone

Thanks everyone!

She also referenced my brother too, who apparently has also quit drinking (I had no idea...he also lives far away). I think she hasn't clued in that maybe we're in recovery and that just maybe she might have a problem too. Still not a cool thing to say to anyone, and if it keeps happening, I will have to put my foot down. I actually worry about her a lot. She seems more judgemental and stressed out than usual.

The interesting thing that has come out of it has been my mom's support. I honestly thought it would have been the other way around and I would have had back up from my sister from my mom. But when I told her I quit, she thought it was great, and she was getting upset that I was having trouble with friends about the issue. When my sis said the boring comment, she said, "don't you pressure her."
Very interesting how it's all working out.

DoubleDragons

I had a dawning moment about 6-7 months into my sobriety that really helped me with the whole "non-drinkers are boring" thing. Because honestly, that is what I thought when I was a drinker. (mostly because the other drinkers justified my drinking) Anyway, my moment was realizing that nobody I knew was very different than who they usually are when they were drinking, unless they got drunk and then they were just terribly obnoxious. I was on a girls' weekend with friends I have known for over a decade and me and one other friend who is pregnant were the only ones not drinking. Nobody acted very different from how they always act. It is the same thing I noticed with family at family functions. So, my conclusion is that drinking does not make anyone more "fun". They are the same people you know and love until the drunk line is crossed and then they are terrible bores!!

Mirage74

Ouch, those darn sisters, I've got one too. They seem to know right where it hurts. I deal with it too, it's a struggle, I've got some resentments too. Just remember what you're getting sober for, sounds like she doesn't know.

soberlicious

Someone once said to me , "I don't trust anyone who doesn't drink" haha! That's at the top of the stupidest-sh*t-that's-been-uttered list.

If someone told me I was boring because I don't drink I would look at them and smile and sincerely say, "You're just so dumb."

So, I don't have a mature answer for you. People who say ridiculous things to me get ridiculous responses. Sometimes you just have to speak someone's language for them to understand.

neferkamichael

Justsomeone, quitting drinking is FANTASTIC, congratulations. Ya just never know who's gonna be jealous when ya give up the booze, rootin for ya.

HealthyK

Justsomeone, congrats on sobriety. I had a friend once tell me that I was more fun when I drank the hard stuff. Also I've had people tell me I don't have an issue. They are people who drink more than I do. I've been told that people are scared of their friends changing and so they sometimes sabotage. Stay the course!

MythOfSisyphus

I'm sure she just doesn't know any better, so try not to take it personally. Honestly, if someone said that to me I'd take it as a huge compliment!

Verte

Is your sister the oldest sibling? Perhaps there is some rivalry or inner turmoil going on which prompted a funny response to you knowing yourself well enough to know that you need to be sober. Maybe she wanted to be the very first to be comfortable in her own skin or 'grow up'? I can understand how any words other than the supportive kind would sting a bit.

Total conjecture. The most important thing is that you have made a great decision for your well-being and life. Well done!

Tang

I've heard this from multiple people. Said as if non-drinkers have a conspiracy to control and undermine drinkers. I had a friend who belittled and verbally abused people he met who wouldn't drink. Yes, why was he my friend. I think I thought I was going to save him.

Rence

When I'm at a concert surrounded by people drinking heavily, I am so grateful that I am not drinking. You don't realize you obnoxious, aggravating and disruptive drunks are until you are sober. I'd take "boring" and be happy about it if I were you

FreeOwl

I'll take "boring" over "addicted to poison" any day.

Nursing terrible hangovers wasn't actually, BORING, per se... but it sure sucked.

I suppose I never really got BORED while struggling through the consequences of my DUIs... but it sure as hell wasn't fun.

When I find myself in social environments these days where there are people who are drinking heavily.... I observe their "exciting, fun, awesome" behavior with a new set of eyes. Man, if I was that kind of 'fun' thank god I'm boring!!

Sounds like your sister doesn't get it.

I'm sorry to hear that, but I hope you'll recognize the mindset it's coming from. People who associate anything 'fun' with the need to have alcohol are either alcoholics themselves, or lack the life awareness to experience true joy. Either way, I'm glad that I'm no longer one of them.

MrBen

Some people want a drinking buddy and have little care for others well being. Sad but true.

justsomeone

It's true; I'd take boring over addicted to poison! I guess because I used alcohol to mask my social anxiety, being called boring triggered that part of me that doesn't feel like I'm enough on my own. But that's just something I need to deal with now.

LeTheVerte, she's not the oldest, but is older than me. She does tend to have that jealousy if I do something first. I had a child first and for a while, she acted strange about it!

And thank everyone for the encouragement!

coming_clean

the longer im in recovery, the less I care about what other people think.
Especially opinions about intoxication.

amp123

I'm just 5 days in to recovery and I'm also worried about being perceived as "boring". I've been drinking most nights since I was 17 or 18 and I'm in my forties now. I guess I'm a bit apprehensive about who I'm going to turn out to be if and when I get this sober thing a bit further off the ground. I may well turn out to be boring, but I could just as well be anything else too. I haven't had the chance to spend any time with my sober self since I was a kid.

Either way I'll take my chances because I've had it with the old me.

I think I'd tell my sister to give me a break if it was me but it really depends on the kind of relationship you have with her...

Good luck with it all!

LBrain

amp- you're going to turn out to be yourself when sober - not someone you wish to pretend to be when drinking

well done justsomeone - just be who you are.

I was told I was more fun when I wasn't drinking, of course my whole attitude on life changed as well

MrBen

The whole "sober people are boring" thing is basically, crap. Some sober people are boring, all drunk people are boring. Being sober forces you to develop hobbies, interests, a personality.

You know what's boring? Sitting on the sofa for 8 hours watching TV getting bombed. I had nothing to say for years, of course I didn't, I hadn't done anything remotely interesting in years.

Drunk people claim others are boring to convince themselves and others that it's fine to keep drinking.

I know, because that used to be me.

walkbeformakrun

Maybe you drank with her in the past? Now she does not know how to relate to you sober? She, while drinking, can't relate to you sober in the same way she is used to doing? Bottom line though I bet she doesn't want to lose her relationship with you. Sick that she wants you to drink to bring that back but ultimately, I think she wants a relationship with you or she would not care that she feels it slipping away. If she really wants a relationship with you, you can cultivate it sober. She will adapt. Good kin are like that. Best wishes on building a sober family relationship.