Here I am...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 8
Here I am...
Well, here I am. I’ve been lurking around these boards reading stories and I’ve known for some time that I do have a drinking problem. I consider myself a high-functioning alcoholic. I don’t drink very often any more, but when I do, I binge drink. I’ve never missed any work from drinking and I’ve never messed up my finances, heck I even have a Master’s degree, but I have a drinking problem.
It all started when I was 17, the first time I drank I got drunk. Then every time after I would get drunk. I would drink by myself before going to a party just to get buzzed. I’m a shy person, so alcohol helped me break out of my shell.
I binge drank a lot through college and then when I was of legal age, I would be in the bar every Friday night with my husband. He would have to always be the responsible one as I would get hammered and he would have to drive us home. Well, I always drank way too much and I get nasty hangovers to the point where I am puking my guts out the next day for hours on end.
I really don’t embarrass myself too much when I’m drunk, it is always the next day that I am completely worthless. I’m now 30 years old and the hangovers just keep getting worse. I suppose it is taking a toll on my body…
My son is my reason for recovery. I only go out about 5-10 times a year now, but when I do I get very drunk. I’ve never been around my son while I was drunk. He always stays with my parents or my husband’s parents. But, I have lost a few days due to be hung over and I can’t get out of bed, so my husband has to take care of him. I feel so worthless and like a terrible person.
I used to have an addiction to cigarettes, but I stopped cold turkey about 2 years ago. I know I can stop drinking, the only thing I worry about is what people are going to say to me. My friends own a local bar and I know when my husband and I go out there for supper and to visit they will get upset with my not drinking. I know they also have a drinking problem… When I go out to their bar, shots always end up in front of me that they buy, if I refuse the shot, my friend would get pissed at me. But now I do see that most of my “friends” are huge binge drinkers just like me. We would drink just to get drunk and party. I used to think that if I couldn’t smoke cigarettes in the bar, I would have a good time. I would be jealous because all of my friends could smoke. I obviously know this isn’t true now, but that is how I feel about drinking. I feel like I won’t have a good time.
So here I am, ready to stop drinking. I guess if my friends don’t like the fact that I don’t drink anymore, they aren’t my real friends at all.
It all started when I was 17, the first time I drank I got drunk. Then every time after I would get drunk. I would drink by myself before going to a party just to get buzzed. I’m a shy person, so alcohol helped me break out of my shell.
I binge drank a lot through college and then when I was of legal age, I would be in the bar every Friday night with my husband. He would have to always be the responsible one as I would get hammered and he would have to drive us home. Well, I always drank way too much and I get nasty hangovers to the point where I am puking my guts out the next day for hours on end.
I really don’t embarrass myself too much when I’m drunk, it is always the next day that I am completely worthless. I’m now 30 years old and the hangovers just keep getting worse. I suppose it is taking a toll on my body…
My son is my reason for recovery. I only go out about 5-10 times a year now, but when I do I get very drunk. I’ve never been around my son while I was drunk. He always stays with my parents or my husband’s parents. But, I have lost a few days due to be hung over and I can’t get out of bed, so my husband has to take care of him. I feel so worthless and like a terrible person.
I used to have an addiction to cigarettes, but I stopped cold turkey about 2 years ago. I know I can stop drinking, the only thing I worry about is what people are going to say to me. My friends own a local bar and I know when my husband and I go out there for supper and to visit they will get upset with my not drinking. I know they also have a drinking problem… When I go out to their bar, shots always end up in front of me that they buy, if I refuse the shot, my friend would get pissed at me. But now I do see that most of my “friends” are huge binge drinkers just like me. We would drink just to get drunk and party. I used to think that if I couldn’t smoke cigarettes in the bar, I would have a good time. I would be jealous because all of my friends could smoke. I obviously know this isn’t true now, but that is how I feel about drinking. I feel like I won’t have a good time.
So here I am, ready to stop drinking. I guess if my friends don’t like the fact that I don’t drink anymore, they aren’t my real friends at all.
Marchia in Aeternum
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 11,094
Before you sit down, take them aside and tell them you've quit so you can take better care of your son and husband. If they get mad at that, leave. Don't let others stop you from improving your life.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 52
Poofu, you are right. People get scared of changes like that in their friends, especially because it makes them look at their own behavior. I have had people say the same thing to me and I used to get mad at people for not drinking also. But you have the ability to make the changes you need. Trust me, I know it's hard. You can do it!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 47
Hi there. At least you know where to start and the different proccess that lead you to drink, I guess that's a good thing and a good place to start.
Being shy was also a reason why I started drinking, when I was a teenager alcohol help me to socialize with others. The thing now is that I discovered that people like me a lot more when I'm sober and that I'm actually wasting precious time of my life by being drunk or hangover when I could be doing nice things and sharing time with the people I love.
Being shy was also a reason why I started drinking, when I was a teenager alcohol help me to socialize with others. The thing now is that I discovered that people like me a lot more when I'm sober and that I'm actually wasting precious time of my life by being drunk or hangover when I could be doing nice things and sharing time with the people I love.
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
Welcome to posting on the SR forum, poof!
You can do this and you are off to a good start. Time to come up with a solid plan to stay sober. Keeping my laptop open to SR throughout the day has helped me immensely in getting through the initial things.
You can do this and you are off to a good start. Time to come up with a solid plan to stay sober. Keeping my laptop open to SR throughout the day has helped me immensely in getting through the initial things.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
welcome poofu, some of what you describe are things I did - into my 50's
you are making an excellant choice. as for telling people, except for those in your immediate household, you don't have to explain yourself to anyone. If asked, just say I didn't like how I felt after drinking and want to change. Good luck.
you are making an excellant choice. as for telling people, except for those in your immediate household, you don't have to explain yourself to anyone. If asked, just say I didn't like how I felt after drinking and want to change. Good luck.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 8
Ya I don't plan on really telling anyone that I have a drinking problem. If they ask why I'm not drinking, I will tell them that alcohol makes me sick. I get so sick the next day from it as I over-do it and I can't live this way anymore. My family is way more important to me than partying and keeping my "friends" happy. I haven't been going out much over the last 2 years and I can already see my "friends" slipping away. I have a few close friends that don't party and I'm trying to get back into healthy hobbies such as walking, joining the community choir, and lots of family activities.
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