Nonsensical

You are projecting that the way you feel today is the way you'll feel in the future. People frequently underestimate their ability to feel better when they are down.

There's an up, and it isn't found in a bottle. It's found when your mind finally lets go of that bottle as an option.

Keep up the press!

Croissant

Right, I'm all in the context now. So, that would be the stage I lovingly recall was when my "bratty" voice came out. My, I deserve this, I deserve that, why does my life suck, everything is boring, doesn't everyone realise the SACRIFICES I'm making, on a daily basissssss! Waaaaa!

I could write you a novel of the days I thought the world was blurk, boring etc etc.

If drinking was so great, you wouldn't have given up the filthy, foul habit that was no doubt stealing your life from you anyway.

Good, I'm glad you are feeling uncomfortable....because that's what makes us go to the next level - if we choose to.

Nothing worth doing is easy...ever. You have loads of support here....and sure, ok, you are having a bad day...as I said, it's natural, it's good to purge it all out.

Feeling uncomfortable makes us figure out how to comfort ourselves and find joy without alcohol. Simple, but true.

ElleDee

Thank you FreeOwl and all of you... I know you're right. I'm just kinda stuck today... exactly what you said. In another post I mentioned that I'm going to try and get out for lunch today and see if I can pick up a new attitude. The weather is really amazing here and if I were in a different state of mind, I'd be grateful. I have a lot to be grateful for. I know I need to just sit with the feelings but eventually stop being a whiny little ungrateful b*tch.

Daretodream

Hi Elle - I find that when the grumpiness sets in and I get to the point where I can't even stand myself exercise does wonders...and lots of it. Endorphins are a wonderful thing.

Hang in there!

ElleDee

I agree. I'm just in a bad way today. I've been struggling since Sunday night... a strong desire to drink and it's really difficult to focus on anything positive right now. I really am trying to be positive and well, I can't drink right now, so that's a good thing. I have a meeting planned for tonight. I know I'll be okay. I'm just not feeling it today.

Croissant

Here, have a hug.


And try and get out for a walk...we all understand the feeling.

FreeOwl

it happens!

GracieLou

I have to give you kudos for your honesty. Most are not honest because they feel they will be judged for their crappy attitude or they are still in denial.

You my friend are not in denial and that is a good thing. As crappy as you feel and as bad as your mood is, it is real. You are living it, feeling it and getting through it. The next time you have a bad day you won’t feel as bad because you will know how to get through it. You get stronger. It happens one day at a time.

It gets better. Hang in there. Ride the rollercoaster but try and not to hang on to the emotions. Let them come and let them go.

PurpleKnight

You need to detach your thinking from what you see at work and realise people at work are not the lifestyles that people are living!!

What do they do with their families, in the evenings, during holidays, they are not being held back by alcohol and are living to their potential, achieving their goals etc, but we don't see all of that at work.

Plus what is the alternative? . . . sitting drinking every evening? . . . we gotta realise why we quit drinking in the first place!!

But sometimes we just have bad days!!

Nuudawn

[QUOTE=ElleDee;4752833] But people who live (boring) lives. /QUOTE]

^^^understandably, you feel this right now. In reality, my life drinking..was pretty boring (with the exception of drunken drama I may have created on a bad night like injuring myself, insulting someone, worrying someone, embarassing myself, shaming myself, waking up in my clothes or worse..no clothes ..not at home, seeing my vehicle in the morning and knowing I drove drunk..could go on and on.)
More nights than not though..were pretty humdrum. I would stop somewhere and get my bottle of wine...putter about doing humdrum things like laundry, cooking, television...drinking. Ya...that was pretty damn exciting! I couldn't drive anywhere..eventually sometimes...I would get lonely enough to start making drunk telephone calls or something.

How was your life more exciting drinking? Unfortunately there is the "mundane" aspect of life. We have to go to work. We have to cook meals. We have to clean and do laundry.
But rebelling against that part of life is just well....childish. That's basically what I did whilst drinking. My life was boring so I drank to combat that.

Wow...way to show 'em Nuudawn! There's a poster here named "Groundhog Day". And for me, that pretty much summed up my drinking life. The same damn day..over and over and over and over.

I was spinning my drunken wheels petulantly...changing nothing.

Coldfusion

"What I used to call boring I now call serenity."

--found here at SoberRecovery

desypete

if you was going to die soon i think you would soon change your tune
how can you be so ungrateful your alive and well ?

how do you get off watching others and thinking your better than them with there lives ?

i find you wishing to die a horrible thing to say with all the kids out there who are dying today and wishing they had a chance to live

AnotherAlkie

Part of the reason I developed a drinking problem was because I just got sick of trying to relate to normal people.

I spent a lot of my life trying to pretend I liked Midwestern suburbia. The things that the people around me did and took pleasure in doing. People who got married at 25 and had kids at 30 and lived in a nice suburban home where they would plant tomato gardens and have long conversations about granite versus marble counters.

I don't consider myself better than these people. I envy them. But I do not and will never give a fig about home improvement and gardening. I'm fine with living in an apartment my entire life. I don't want kids. I don't like being around large groups.

I'm not abnormal. I'm just an introverted nerd, and because I was too scared to make the changes I needed to lead the life I wanted for myself, I got incredibly depressed and tried to force myself to like my life by being drunk basically all the time.

Now that I've made/am making the changes I need....it's still really hard. But it's easier to get through the day without wanting to tell at least one person to STFU. So, if you can manage to find one healthy thing that you really genuinely enjoy....it'll make it easier to ignore the chirpers.

sugarbear1

Working those steps was the key to changing my attitude. I did work them quickly for relief and freedom and I got so much more out of it than just relief and freedom.

I hope you stay stopped and get into action!

hugs and love to you

Janis

I have felt that way about being sober then go back out and it's worse then I wonder why the hell I went back to drinking because there was obviously a reason I quit. That reason is because I was miserable. Alcohol has screwed up my brain so much that sometimes I get out of wack and think that drinking is better because I feel like crap and I feel like crap because I had drank for so long. Eventually things even out but not everything is roses and there are days, much like today, that I'm irritable. During that time I have to tell myself to not buy into my own BS. I must remember that sometimes being sober sucks BUT being drunk sucks MORE. Drinking never did me any favors and feeling good a couple times isn't worth where I end up.
Best of luck to you and I really hope you stay the path. I understand if you don't because I have veered a couple times myself but I know I can't do that because it's just not worth it.

ElleDee

Havin' a bad day... simple as that. Guess you don't have those, huh?

ElleDee

That's what I'm hoping for! Yay! I am just very impatient.

Thanks EVERYONE!

Chance2

I find this lacks empathy- it is how elledee feels and good for her for being so honest! Attack the argument .... When you are down you are down and no matter how many starving children/ adults etc will change it- the nature of the beast...

Nonsensical

We open our presents on Christmas morning, not Christmas Eve around here.

jason2

Maybe a change of career would help.