Class of July 2014
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 16
Day 11 sober! After work I went to one of my favorite restaurants, and I really just wanted a glass of wine to go with my food - just one. I didn't, but wouldn't it be nice to unwind like a normal person? Going to restaurants may need to be avoided for awhile. 
SoberOutlook
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 3,089
I hear you, Dmay. I'm on Day 9, and came home to some teen and mom drama and angst. A real trigger for me. I told the teen to leave for a while, and then I just wanted a glass of white wine...I even told the wife I was gonna have one. Luckily, she said we were out. Oddly, I didn't have a taste for anything else, so I skipped it. Glad the stars were aligned to formidably conquer my weakness.
Then, when the craving was gone, I got a few tasks done that would have never happened if I had indulged in that first drink. Following that, I was able to speak with my teen son about what happened and why it was inappropriate for him to speak to us in the manner he did. I made sense, and held strong ground, which wouldn't have happened even if I had actually been able to stop at one glass of wine.
As Dee often says, just play the reel all the way through in those moments.
Then, when the craving was gone, I got a few tasks done that would have never happened if I had indulged in that first drink. Following that, I was able to speak with my teen son about what happened and why it was inappropriate for him to speak to us in the manner he did. I made sense, and held strong ground, which wouldn't have happened even if I had actually been able to stop at one glass of wine.
As Dee often says, just play the reel all the way through in those moments.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Minnetonka, MN
Posts: 155
I was just at a barbecue put on by my condo association (just bottled water for me!). I met this group of retired women who all talked about how wonderful their life is now that they're done working and can just do whatever they want all day. No husbands, no kids to take care of, none of that nonsense, just total freedom. They told me to make sure I live long enough so that I can retire and be like them.
This really kind of moved me because my drinking has really stopped me from looking that far into the future. At times, when I have been drinking regularly, my silly thought is that I'd rather be here for a GOOD time rather than a LONG one, so who cares if my drinking is shortening my life expectancy. Though the sad reality is that the drinking has actually made these times worse than they would be otherwise. I worry that my continued drinking will kill me at an early age. I almost completely forget about the idea of living long enough to retire and then continue living long enough to really enjoy that retirement.
Ultimately it's just a good reminder that if I can stop drinking and get my life straight, my life can be better now and can be better yet far into the future. I'm only 29, so yeah, retirement is a LOOOONG ways out still, lol. But someday it will happen.
This really kind of moved me because my drinking has really stopped me from looking that far into the future. At times, when I have been drinking regularly, my silly thought is that I'd rather be here for a GOOD time rather than a LONG one, so who cares if my drinking is shortening my life expectancy. Though the sad reality is that the drinking has actually made these times worse than they would be otherwise. I worry that my continued drinking will kill me at an early age. I almost completely forget about the idea of living long enough to retire and then continue living long enough to really enjoy that retirement.
Ultimately it's just a good reminder that if I can stop drinking and get my life straight, my life can be better now and can be better yet far into the future. I'm only 29, so yeah, retirement is a LOOOONG ways out still, lol. But someday it will happen.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: TX
Posts: 126
Evening.
Good to hear that everyone seems to be making it through their challenges today. I'm through day 2 and feeling well. Withdrawals have seemed to pass and I'm feeling more positive.
I'm motivated by the same things you mentioned Illuminate. I am pretty high functioning but want to be around long enough to actually enjoy life. Maybe actually live long enough to see some grand kids. That toxic thought of "I'd rather enjoy this now (which, oh by the way I don't enjoy and actually hate) than have a long life" is just that. Toxic.
On to day 3 tomorrow. A Friday. Ugh. Not gonna be easy around 5pm.
Good to hear that everyone seems to be making it through their challenges today. I'm through day 2 and feeling well. Withdrawals have seemed to pass and I'm feeling more positive.
I'm motivated by the same things you mentioned Illuminate. I am pretty high functioning but want to be around long enough to actually enjoy life. Maybe actually live long enough to see some grand kids. That toxic thought of "I'd rather enjoy this now (which, oh by the way I don't enjoy and actually hate) than have a long life" is just that. Toxic.
On to day 3 tomorrow. A Friday. Ugh. Not gonna be easy around 5pm.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 69
ANewDay - I can so relate. When my father was diagnosed with cancer I ended up giving up this good fight, and I wish I hadn't. I really would have handled it a lot better without the booze.
I'm atheist/agnostic too and I remember also thinking how lucky believers are to escape into the comfort of religion at times like those, when us nonbelievers are just left with our thoughts. That's part of what keeps me away from AA and other 12-step programs, too. I believe the strength has to come from me rather than a higher power, but I also think that we do have the strength within us if we choose to tap into it.
I'm atheist/agnostic too and I remember also thinking how lucky believers are to escape into the comfort of religion at times like those, when us nonbelievers are just left with our thoughts. That's part of what keeps me away from AA and other 12-step programs, too. I believe the strength has to come from me rather than a higher power, but I also think that we do have the strength within us if we choose to tap into it.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 28
Yes. We are far more capable than we give ourselves credit! I wake up every day sober and it's a gift. When I lost my mum 10 years ago I spiralled out of control and never got past it for a long time. Now I'm living each day and learning to cope with my problems without getting roaring drunk. It's ironic really, I crave the thing that makes me ill! Alcohol only makes things worse because it adds additional problems like all day hangovers and worsens the money situation. That's how I know alcohol is no different to me than the other drugs people get addicted to. The hardest part is refusing the urge to have that first one, then the rest is easy!
Illuminate - I can relate to what you're saying. In the depths of alcohol binges I'd be on the point of passing out and wonder if I'd actually wake up the next day, or if the poison would be too great to handle, and the worst part is I didn't care. I'd be thinking about it but I wasn't scared to die.
Illuminate - I can relate to what you're saying. In the depths of alcohol binges I'd be on the point of passing out and wonder if I'd actually wake up the next day, or if the poison would be too great to handle, and the worst part is I didn't care. I'd be thinking about it but I wasn't scared to die.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 943
Morning class, day 11 here and now feeling physically almost back to normal, the withdrawal symptoms seem to have past now, thank goodness, I'm not planning on forgetting them in a hurry though. My Av had started chattering away, it had seen people drinking at bars outside in the sun and went onto yeah holiday mode, luckily I saw a link to a video by Amber Valetta about her own addictions and struggles and for some reason that video has had quite big impact on me, think it's because not only does she come across as honest truthful and emotional she also takes full responsibility for her actions and doesn't blame anyone or anything else and she is funny!
I started a thread on the newcomers section about it, well worth having a wee look. It's a gorgeous sunny day here so going out to do some more exercise and gardening in the son. Have a good day everyone. Peace X
I started a thread on the newcomers section about it, well worth having a wee look. It's a gorgeous sunny day here so going out to do some more exercise and gardening in the son. Have a good day everyone. Peace X
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: TX
Posts: 1
Today is day 4 for me. I quit on 7/7. Have pretty much isolated myself and detoxing at home. Feeling great. Going to get back out and start facing the world as soon as the sleep patterns normalize...hopefully in the next couple of days.
Prior to quitting I was seeking out a date that would be easy to remember and perhaps have some deeper significance. So I began to google the date (7/7).
I'm not the most deeply religious person...but found this- Mathew 7:7- "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you".
I hope to use that as some inspiration.
ASK- I'll be asking for strength and support from friends, loved ones, and myself.
SEEK- Seeking a life without drunkenness, irresponsibility, and anger.
KNOCK- Use my sobriety to find opportunities that I would have simply blown off because of my alcoholism. Opportunities to be a better, kinder, more productive person.
feel free to expand and good luck to all.
Prior to quitting I was seeking out a date that would be easy to remember and perhaps have some deeper significance. So I began to google the date (7/7).
I'm not the most deeply religious person...but found this- Mathew 7:7- "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you".
I hope to use that as some inspiration.
ASK- I'll be asking for strength and support from friends, loved ones, and myself.
SEEK- Seeking a life without drunkenness, irresponsibility, and anger.
KNOCK- Use my sobriety to find opportunities that I would have simply blown off because of my alcoholism. Opportunities to be a better, kinder, more productive person.
feel free to expand and good luck to all.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 72
Morning everyone
Day 12 and thank crunchie it's Friday. I think this has been the longest week EVER.
Feeling a bit rough today but I don't think it's anything withdrawal related. There's a horrible cold doing the rounds of my office and I've been battling it all week. Feeling very tired and headachey and as though someone has stuffed my head with cotton wool. I'm supposed to be going to the theatre this evening but I might just go home and sleep instead.
Day 12 and thank crunchie it's Friday. I think this has been the longest week EVER.
Feeling a bit rough today but I don't think it's anything withdrawal related. There's a horrible cold doing the rounds of my office and I've been battling it all week. Feeling very tired and headachey and as though someone has stuffed my head with cotton wool. I'm supposed to be going to the theatre this evening but I might just go home and sleep instead.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 49
Day 11 today and feeling pretty good even though I'm going to a funeral. I've been feeling a bit lethargic and unable to get out of bed in the morning but I guess there's some changes in my lifestyle and it will pass. I have found that any kind of exercise helps me a lot and will be out for a long walk tonight instead of my Friday night bottle of wine in front of the TV.
Keep going Class of July, we can do this.
Keep going Class of July, we can do this.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Illinois
Posts: 230
Day 3 and having a bit of a hard time.
Lot of stress and mistakes at work for me turns into anger...my biggest trigger. I am working with my therapist to teach myself that I cannot control others behavior, mistakes, comments, or decisions. But I am the one that can control the fact that I don't pick up a drink, thinking that will help. Just hard.
My son also is not speaking to me, and I don't blame him. Just miss him. He called last weekend and knew I had slipped and was drinking...again. Haven't heard from him since.
A tough day ahead and a Friday. Gotta continue to fight everyone!
Lot of stress and mistakes at work for me turns into anger...my biggest trigger. I am working with my therapist to teach myself that I cannot control others behavior, mistakes, comments, or decisions. But I am the one that can control the fact that I don't pick up a drink, thinking that will help. Just hard.
My son also is not speaking to me, and I don't blame him. Just miss him. He called last weekend and knew I had slipped and was drinking...again. Haven't heard from him since.
A tough day ahead and a Friday. Gotta continue to fight everyone!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Michigan
Posts: 102
Good morning, day 5 here. Sorry to hear about the struggles everyone is facing. I would be dreading the weekend but for the camping trip I have planned. Just me and the kids and a 50% chance of scattered thunderstorms. No hiding out in the tent drinking for me this weekend though, we packed our raincoats. Looking forward to hikes and bikerides. Maybe some fishing. Planning on trying something new. I've never even bought a fishing license before. I'll be offline for a few days, but stay strong everyone (myself included) and welcome to those who have just joined.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 164
Hi everyone, day 6 here and I've been doing really well overall.
I've been feeling really great about my decision to go sober. I love being freed of the agonizing attempts to drink in moderation, followed by a binge, wake up with the guilt and/or the search for another drink, caught in the cycle yet again......
I woke up today feeling like I should be hung over, expecting to be, but then remembered I wasn't. Weird!
I feel like a lot more of my personality is coming out too. I've been laughing and joking around a lot more, being my silly playful self.
Had a great sober night last night. A dinner date where I actually remembered eating the delicious food!!!
So, today I'm moving into a new house. It's my first time moving into a house of my own. I've been excited for this day for MONTHS. It's a really, REALLY BIG DEAL. Like a HUGE life milestone. Up until this week, I could not imagine celebrating tonight without a bottle of champagne and/or a bottle of nice white wine.
Am I even strong enough so early on to confront this huge life milestone without alcohol?
Ohhh no. Here comes the AV. "Why not, right? I mean that's what people do. They celebrate big events with champagne and wine and stuff. You deserve to celebrate this occasion. It's worth it. You deserve it."
But I can simplify it and respond with this: Do I want to black out or do I want to enjoy this night? It's pretty much that simple.
So I'm trying to be proactive and plan in advance, how to deal with that moment when it comes. I'm open to any ideas or advice.
I've been feeling really great about my decision to go sober. I love being freed of the agonizing attempts to drink in moderation, followed by a binge, wake up with the guilt and/or the search for another drink, caught in the cycle yet again......
I woke up today feeling like I should be hung over, expecting to be, but then remembered I wasn't. Weird!
I feel like a lot more of my personality is coming out too. I've been laughing and joking around a lot more, being my silly playful self.
Had a great sober night last night. A dinner date where I actually remembered eating the delicious food!!!
So, today I'm moving into a new house. It's my first time moving into a house of my own. I've been excited for this day for MONTHS. It's a really, REALLY BIG DEAL. Like a HUGE life milestone. Up until this week, I could not imagine celebrating tonight without a bottle of champagne and/or a bottle of nice white wine.
Am I even strong enough so early on to confront this huge life milestone without alcohol?
Ohhh no. Here comes the AV. "Why not, right? I mean that's what people do. They celebrate big events with champagne and wine and stuff. You deserve to celebrate this occasion. It's worth it. You deserve it."
But I can simplify it and respond with this: Do I want to black out or do I want to enjoy this night? It's pretty much that simple.
So I'm trying to be proactive and plan in advance, how to deal with that moment when it comes. I'm open to any ideas or advice.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 69
Hey Clementina, how about this? Wouldn't it be awesome to never, ever drink in that new house? That it is pure and totally unsullied by alcohol? I think that would be awesome! No drunk memories there at all. Just think about that!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Posts: 2,107
Good morning July I hope everyone's doing good with their personal battles..
Day five for me the hardest time for me is when I get back into town tomorrow it's going to be driving by the liquor store without stopping I make you all week but then saturday on the way to the house I think I have to stop by a much beer as I can and vodka not this week though I think I need a babysitter
Day five for me the hardest time for me is when I get back into town tomorrow it's going to be driving by the liquor store without stopping I make you all week but then saturday on the way to the house I think I have to stop by a much beer as I can and vodka not this week though I think I need a babysitter
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Earth
Posts: 164
Originally Posted by HopingForZen 
Hey Clementina, how about this? Wouldn't it be awesome to never, ever drink in that new house? That it is pure and totally unsullied by alcohol? I think that would be awesome! No drunk memories there at all. Just think about that!
You're so right!!!
Other people who help me move might have some drinks at the end of the day and that's fine, but that doesn't need to mess with MY clean experience of MY NEW HOUSE!
Also, I was just thinking about how "normal" people don't obsess over what drinks to buy to "celebrate" a new home.... how it wouldn't even be an issue whether or not to drink in one's new house on the first night there, because drinking is not the heart of celebrating. Celebrations and major life events are at the heart of celebrating.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: TX
Posts: 126
Morning everyone. Day 3 here
Good to see so many folks having a good sober morning, but sorry to hear that you are struggling LaFoi. Hang in there, I'm on day 3 and starting to feel almost normal again.
Friday would normally be very rough for me but I have sober plans tonight so that should help stave off the AV too much, or at least render giving in impossible.
Hope everyone's day goes well.
Good to see so many folks having a good sober morning, but sorry to hear that you are struggling LaFoi. Hang in there, I'm on day 3 and starting to feel almost normal again.
Friday would normally be very rough for me but I have sober plans tonight so that should help stave off the AV too much, or at least render giving in impossible.
Hope everyone's day goes well.
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