How far would you go...
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
It sounds like your ex-SO, regardless of her relationship with alcohol, was both setting and testing the boundaries of your relationship with alcohol. Since she was aware that you had a problem...this is an absolute set-up for failure of the relationship IMHO. Absolute control of the situation? Impossible for both of you.
Trust issues as well as control issues. You both may never know the 'why' of her issues...this takes individual effort and willingness to learn on her part. But it is definitely in your best interests to figure out why you may be drawn to such a woman. Perhaps you are drawn to women you can never truly be with (at least that is what my Magic 8-ball says
)?
We all have issues that we bring to a relationship. No question. How we approach them is what varies. Definitely a good opportunity for you to figure out what type of person you truly wish to share your heart, soul and time with...cannot go wrong with that
Trust issues as well as control issues. You both may never know the 'why' of her issues...this takes individual effort and willingness to learn on her part. But it is definitely in your best interests to figure out why you may be drawn to such a woman. Perhaps you are drawn to women you can never truly be with (at least that is what my Magic 8-ball says
)?We all have issues that we bring to a relationship. No question. How we approach them is what varies. Definitely a good opportunity for you to figure out what type of person you truly wish to share your heart, soul and time with...cannot go wrong with that
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: CA
Posts: 176
Originally Posted by GetMeOut 
Oh, and she would frequently crack jokes about drinking or being drunk, or tell stories of drunken stupidity she and her friends engaged in back in college. Even send me emails making light of drinking. I would just shake my head like, "Doesn't she get it yet?! Is she trying to get me to find humor in something that just isn't funny to me anymore, at all?" I even told her my sense of humor about drinking was gone - too many bad and painful memories - but she still didn't seem to grasp what that meant, or simply didn't care.
All in all, I think it's best we're no longer together.
All in all, I think it's best we're no longer together.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 1,022
I think my problems are my problems, and expecting the world to stop rotating on its axis to accommodate my problems would be self-centered and unrealistic. People have all the right in the world to live their lives while I'm living mine. My drinking problem, when I had one, didn't reside in the refrigerator next to a half-case of cold ones, and you couldn't find it curled up next to the Johnny Walker in the cabinet. It was internal -- my head, my problem.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by GetMeOut
When times were good, they were fantastic, but when they were bad, they were devastating! Very hot and cold relationship.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say there was likely a lot more with this relationship than her leaving a box of wine on the counter.
I'm not sure how long you have been broken up...but to steal a quote from my favorite monk tale...
"Why are you still carrying her?".
By that I mean...why does her behaviour have anything to do with your right now? Are you feeling resentment or misplaced blame towards her for your relapse during that time or something?
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