bigsombrero

I went to a bar my first day out of rehab - so I know the feeling. I didn't drink either...but it was the wrong move.

As for your "test":

You don't need to practice for a physics exam if you're a majoring in anthropology. Catch my drift?

Boudicca

Fantastic! So glad to hear of this.

hj003

Thanks everyone. I appreciate the concern. But I can now confidently say that I can be around alcohol and be fine. I don't know how to explain it, it's just different.

Good thing, because Sunday I have another party where more interesting people are likely to show up.

It's just like when I quit smoking. When I quit, I quit. It was gone. There were withdrawals and then I was fine with not smoking. I never avoided situations where I would be tempted and it's been 10 years or so and I've never smoked a single cigarette since.

pupkin

Great job sticking to your plan, HJ. I'm with you about not wanting to live a life of fear and avoidance. I'm also with a lot of others here in worrying for you a bit.

Very glad you're hanging tough so far. My only advice is to be careful not to get overconfident by your success at this party. A phrase I've heard a lot here is "don't confuse abstinence with control." That really resonates with me. At a week you're still very close to the hell you just came through and still motivated by that memory. A few weeks, a couple months from now, that memory will seem a lot more distant.

My experience--for me personally--is sort of inverse to what I expected: that the longer I've stayed sober, the slippier my footing became, because I was able to convince myself I had a handle on things. How COULDN'T I, with all that abstinence as evidence?

Admire your resolve HJ. But please keep your head on a swivel.

Spinach

Fantastic. You may just be the exception that proves the rule.
Good luck but to others alcoholism or drinking problems isn't normally seen as a binary problem, though of course the solution is.
John.

hj003

Thanks. You know, I have the experience of quitting smoking which is a heavier addiction, at least it was for me. And I'm applying the same formula to not drinking.

I never smoke and it's never a problem, no matter what the situation. I don't see drinking being any different. I just don't do it.

hj003

I'm not sure what the rule is since I haven't looked into it. And would this really be an exception? I'm asking, because that would surprise me. For me it's simple: decide to quit, quit, never do it again no matter what.

ScottFromWI

If it were that simple there would be no need for recovery programs. You are definitely the exception to the rule that most people need support of some type.

Answer yourself this question...if quitting were as simple for you as you suggest, what prompted you to come here and ask our thoughts about going to the party?

hj003

Simple does not mean easy. It took a lot of mental rehearsal on my part to get through it. And what I practiced paid off.

Btw, I didn't ask for your thoughts about going to the party. I posted about it as something I was going to do. There was no question on my part regarding that.

Why am I getting the feeling that the underlying vibe of responses to my easy recovery is kind of negative from some people? I don't like it.

hokey

People are simply sharing their experiences with you hj. When you open a thread, that is what happens ... people post their own experiences in an attempt to help others remain sober. That is the objective of this forum.
I applaud your ability to just quit and remain quit ... and I wish you continuing success.

hj003

Thanks hokey. I was reading some resistance behind it. Like there was this push of people trying to convince me that what I was doing wasn't possible. It feels uncomfortable. I'm having my process and experiences and want to share those freely.

ScottFromWI

People are simply sharing their experiences. Your experience is very atypical in that you are 7 days sober and claim to have no cravings, issues or repercussions from your drinking past. You can interpret that feedback however you choose, by the fact is that you are among a community of those that largely could never do what you have just done.

PurpleKnight

View it more as balancing up things with some posts of caution to give a full spectrum of perspectives.

The last thing we need is someone without your strength of resolve, which was fantastic btw, to read this thread and think they can do the exact same thing and then end up not coming back from a relapse.

So for all the newcomers potentially reading this thread, they'll have a range of views and opinions to read, so that they can make a decision on whether it is something they themselves could do.

At the end of the day everyone on SR wants everyone to be safe!!

hj003

Ok, so the question that comes to mind then is: why can't they do it? I made a decision and as a regular adult, I stuck to that decision. Cravings aren't like someone is threatening your life or something. They are just feelings to be ignored. Anyone can do that. That's why I wondered why people kept relapsing. I guess it's weakness. Taking action based on a feeling, not based on someone threatening to shoot you.

I mean, what is it really? Some discomfort during the withdrawals? And some feelings? My guess is that people who are not able to handle that are weak. Sorry, but that's how I see it. When I quit benzodiazepines, it was heavier than alcohol and smoking combined. I was sick. I felt cravings. But I just thought: "Nope, not gonna do it". And got over it.

PurpleKnight

That question basically asks why does alcohol addiction even exist?? . . . are you seriously asking why alcoholism exists? . . . why people die of liver failure each year? why people will get up tomorrow and drag themselves to a meeting tomorrow morning? why recovery forums exist?

Plus you need to factor in humans are living organisms, there are many variables in us all when we come into contact with alcohol, how long we have been drinking, our physical makeup, genetics.

Simplifying things to the terminology of "weakness" doesn't do such a complex situation any justice. People need support, some more than others, some people don't even have a problem with alcohol, we're all different.

SR, AA and all the other support groups wouldn't exist if it was that easy for the majority of Alcoholics!!

Gottalife

I just think its cool that you still get invited to parties.

hj003

"That question basically asks why does alcohol addiction even exist??"

No, absolutely not. It asks why people can't get over addiction easily.

For me it's simple. Quit. If it gets difficult, toughen up. If you can't, you're weak. And because some people are, those groups exist.

Please not that I don't want to use weak in a insulting way. I see it as a problem in humans. I'm neutral about it. And I see it as the basis of many human problems.

Hawkeye13

Great--since you've figured all that out now how about you move on to world peace

ScottFromWI

Looking at your original post I now understand it even more clearly. Is there something you would like advice or help with?

hj003

Thanks exactly what I meant by this underlying negativity being there to my ease of recovery. I am simply sharing not only my experiences but my beliefs and how I do it. I find the negativity childish, which means it's based on weakness and exactly proving my point.

Grow a pair to the point of being a normal adult and addictions are not a problem anymore.

And yeah, I might as well go somewhere else if this continues this way. I'm dedicating a lot of time to collecting money for cancer research. World peace may be a lot all at once, but I'm working on that as well. Why should I even stay in a place that is just not open to new ideas?