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Old 06-23-2014, 03:55 AM   #1 (permalink)
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1 week and a good way to test it tonight


Today is my seventh day of being sober. Withdrawals are gone, no cravings. Reading some of the threads here, I feel lucky.

Tonight I'm going to a party and the beer will be free. That's a great moment to prepare for and to test my sobriety, so I'm happy with it. The timing couldn't be better.

I have no desire to drink. And if I do drink, I can examine what drove me to it so it won't happen again.

Some might say it would be better to avoid those type of parties, but my attitude is that I need to learn to be around alcohol. That's easier than leading a life of avoidance.
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Old 06-23-2014, 04:16 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Be careful hj003.
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Old 06-23-2014, 04:26 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by hj003 View Post
Some might say it would be better to avoid those type of parties, but my attitude is that I need to learn to be around alcohol. That's easier than leading a life of avoidance.
I would probably fall into the category of "some" on that one. What exactly do you plan on doing while you are there?
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Old 06-23-2014, 04:28 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by hj003 View Post
Today is my seventh day of being sober. Withdrawals are gone, no cravings. Reading some of the threads here, I feel lucky.

Tonight I'm going to a party and the beer will be free. That's a great moment to prepare for and to test my sobriety, so I'm happy with it. The timing couldn't be better.

I have no desire to drink. And if I do drink, I can examine what drove me to it so it won't happen again.

Some might say it would be better to avoid those type of parties, but my attitude is that I need to learn to be around alcohol. That's easier than leading a life of avoidance.
Although itís not recommended to partake in testing I say good luck to you. At your stage I was undisciplined and did things my way. None of my maneuverings ever resulted in a happy times feeling. I just had to accept that I could not ever drink in safety, and after a good period of time thatís not bad at all.

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WHAT I USED TO CALL BOREDOM I NOW CALL SERENITY.
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Old 06-23-2014, 04:28 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Hey hj003, I wouldn't be so eager to "test" your Sobriety, no one needs to "test" anything out, the plan is to remain Sober, not prove how strong your resolve is.

7 Days in is very very early IMO!!
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Old 06-23-2014, 05:01 AM   #6 (permalink)
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I understand where your coming from, but putting yourself in that situation can be very risky. 7 days is great, but still early.
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Old 06-23-2014, 05:16 AM   #7 (permalink)
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I figure we look at things pretty differently hj.

I don't need to test anything. I know my recovery is robust.

My addiction used to play with my head and use my pride to get me to test my sobriety tho.

The problem I found was that while you can pass a test, you can always fail it too.

And passing one test doesn't grant you immunity from all tests hereafter.

D
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Old 06-23-2014, 06:32 AM   #8 (permalink)
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One week is great but it is just a week after how many years of alcohol abuse?

Are you "testing" or setting yourself up for an "excused" lapse?

The AV is very very tricky. Be careful and good luck
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Old 06-23-2014, 06:46 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by hj003 View Post
Tonight I'm going to a party and the beer will be free. That's a great moment to prepare for and to test my sobriety, so I'm happy with it. The timing couldn't be better.

I have no desire to drink. And if I do drink, I can examine what drove me to it so it won't happen again.
I used to like to test myself until I ran into a string of failures. Passing one of these tests is like a dare to raise the stakes next time, give yourself a stronger temptation. And failing one -- well, you seem to think it will be easy to dust yourself off and come right back to sobriety. Not necessarily. If you can play around with your alcoholism, I envy you. I can't anymore.
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Old 06-23-2014, 07:07 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Don't go to the party! That situation caused my very first relapse. You can never trust your AV and that's who is talking when you start chatting about testing. Good luck and hang in there.
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Old 06-23-2014, 07:13 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Ah geez..when I read the title of this thread, I actually shook my head and said "ahh fook" (insert real word).
Yes..you will undoubtedly have to be around alcohol. And for me, being around someone having a drink is NOT the same as being at a drunk up...when the event is pretty much revolved around FREE BEER wahoo wahoo.
Like what will you do exactly when people are standing round with their red solo cups talking gibberish? Laughing and stumbling in their alcohol induced haze?
They will be looking like their having a good time ya know? You wont see them later hurled over their toilets or passed out in their clothes...

I hate to say it...but your attitude wreaks of naive bluster.
Why do you even want to go?
I am not saying that you will definitely fail.
I attended a bar to see a band in early sobriety once..with a whole gang of longtime friends.
It was irritating. People were yelling in my ear and hanging all over me to keep from falling. I wasn't on the same wave length with anyone.
Nothing was fun about it. Even the guys in the band (whom I had known in highschool) were drunk..so they sucked too.

If you must go...just take it a little more seriously than your post suggests.
Make sure you have an exit strategy.
Seeing all those folks drinking and apparently having fun could be a trigger.
At least give that some consideration.
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Old 06-23-2014, 07:53 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Ah geez..when I read the title of this thread, I actually shook my head and said "ahh fook" (insert real word).
Yes..you will undoubtedly have to be around alcohol. And for me, being around someone having a drink is NOT the same as being at a drunk up...when the event is pretty much revolved around FREE BEER wahoo wahoo.
Like what will you do exactly when people are standing round with their red solo cups talking gibberish? Laughing and stumbling in their alcohol induced haze?
They will be looking like their having a good time ya know? You wont see them later hurled over their toilets or passed out in their clothes...

I hate to say it...but your attitude wreaks of naive bluster.
Why do you even want to go?
I am not saying that you will definitely fail.
I attended a bar to see a band in early sobriety once..with a whole gang of longtime friends.
It was irritating. People were yelling in my ear and hanging all over me to keep from falling. I wasn't on the same wave length with anyone.
Nothing was fun about it. Even the guys in the band (whom I had known in highschool) were drunk..so they sucked too.

If you must go...just take it a little more seriously than your post suggests.
Make sure you have an exit strategy.
Seeing all those folks drinking and apparently having fun could be a trigger.
At least give that some consideration.
Thank you for this reply, nuudawn. I can relate as I personally feel very strong in my sobriety, but I KNOW it's early yet. Speaking for myself I will be practicing avoidance for quite a while as it seems foolish to put too much on my plate at one time. (Had a similar situation this past weekend. Felt a great deal of panic, then the dinner was canceled.) I felt so much relief!

On this issue I think it's best to listen to those with more sober time. I will take you at your word, LOL.
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Old 06-23-2014, 09:12 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Good luck. Every time I tried to examine what went wrong I never got anywhere until I discovered that I had a mental obsession.
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Old 06-23-2014, 09:22 AM   #14 (permalink)
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I'm at one month today and I still (and probably will for a long time) avoid situations involving alcohol like the plague. I don't want to be around it, I don't feel that I have to test anything just yet. I know myself well enough that it is far too early for me to tackle being around a bunch of free beer. (Makes me cringe just typing it!) Good luck, and as Nuudawn suggested, have an exit plan.
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Old 06-23-2014, 09:42 AM   #15 (permalink)
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What if your resolve to stay sober is still wishy-washy? After a single week that would not be surprising, it would also be totally okay. Think of the reasons why you are choosing sobriety, are they more important than proving you have a certain amount of willpower? Just something to consider. Sobriety is not easy, but it is definitely worth it.

P.S. Alcohol abuse is a form of living a life of avoidance.
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Old 06-23-2014, 11:18 AM   #16 (permalink)
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I went to a wedding at the weekend, three weeks in. I'm not going to lie, it was tough. People were drinking but there were plenty who weren't - the intention was to celebrate a marriage. I couldn't go to an event where there is free beer flowing, why would you do that to yourself?
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Old 06-23-2014, 11:23 AM   #17 (permalink)
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And if I do drink, I can examine what drove me to it so it won't happen again. Some might say it would be better to avoid those type of parties, but my attitude is that I need to learn to be around alcohol. That's easier than leading a life of avoidance.
Damn.

"I need to learn to be around alcohol". Says who? You? Why? Why do you "need to learn" this?

What's this whole "If I do drink" stuff?

Do you really want to stay sober?

"A life of avoidance"? You've been at this one week, dude.

I am sorry to say this: but it appears you have very few coping skills to handle this kind of thing. Even if you don't drink tonight, this is the wrong road to set up for a successful recovery.

Good luck.
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Old 06-23-2014, 11:38 AM   #18 (permalink)
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In my opinion, I feel like you are setting yourself up for a relapse. I say this as you are saying that if you relapse you can learn from this experience. Don't let it fool you the number of people on this site that have relapsed and said that they have learned from it. Yes they have learned from it BUT they were lucky enough to come back to say that. Sooooooooooooo many people don't come back. It is sad when they don't return Many haven't. You just haven't been around here long enough to know that yet.
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Old 06-23-2014, 12:22 PM   #19 (permalink)
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I just got back from the party. It started early and I left early because it was boring. It wasn't because of the fact that I didn't drink, the people just weren't much fun.

I sat close by the refrigerator where people came to get beer and was fine with it. No aversion nor desire. It's just gone.

Thanks for all the messages, but I knew this would happen. The shift in my mind is so that I just don't drink anymore.
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Old 06-23-2014, 12:38 PM   #20 (permalink)
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I 'tested' myself a few times starting out.
A few months (not weeks) sober.
Went to my usual pub, drank coffee.
Accepted the plaudits and pats on the back
'Well done mate' and 'best thing you've ever done' rang in my ears.
For a few weeks.
Felt good.
One day i walked in after a 'bad' day at work.
And a large 'gas' bill.
And a few 'words' with my partner.
And i ordered a beer coz my head was shot to bits.
And everybody looked sad.
Then i had another, then a bottle a few days down the line, then a daily bottle, then hospital and drips and warnings and another detox.
It happens if we fail the test.....
Be careful.
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