ScottFromWI

How often you drink and how much you drink is kind of irrelevant actually. What's most important is being truly honest with yourself and deciding if alcohol is causing problems in your life, no matter the quantity.

What I can tell you is that lying about how much you drink ( which i'm guessing is what you meant about your first post ), hiding bottles and denying a problem are all red flags. Drinking to blackout on a regular basis is a MAJOR, MAJOR red flag that you have a serious alcohol problem. Only you can truly decide, but none of these things you describe are part of "regular" drinking.

I was scared as hell of quitting too, but eventually i got more scared of what was going to happnen if I kept drinking. I learned almost everything I know about sobriety from the folks here at SR, please do stick around and read as much as you can - and ask as many questions as you like. Remember you are absolutely not alone....many, many of us have been exactly where you are now - and there is a better way.

PurpleKnight

Welcome to SR!! Great to have you onboard!!

Dee74

There's some great advice here Theo - and some great examples of people who felt the fear you're feeling - but did it anyway

Look into yourself tho - be honest - a part of you must long not to be in the position, to be so dependent on alcohol it's this hard to give it up?

Do this for yourself, not for your girlfriend, Theo.
There's a difference

D

dSober

Simple rule of thumb: If you think you might be an alcoholic, you probably are.

No big deal. You're in the right place. Don't be afraid of meetings. Nobody there bites.

Theo77

i told her to **** off and she did. se keeps saying admititng it is more than just saying waht she wants to hear and now she woont answrer her phone

least

Are you drinking now?

Theo77

yeah but i've nevre had a n excuse this good ha
ig she's going to act like im an alcholic then ill act liek one

**** sorry

DoubleDragons

Theo, the very fact that quitting drinking filled me with fear, actually made me realize how addicted I truly was to it. What else that you have quit has filled you with the deepest, scariest, petrified feelings of fear for giving it up? I quit Diet Cokes (used to drink 6-7 of those a day for several years, maybe decades), red meat (ate this my whole life until I turned 42) and scary movies (haven't seen one of these in at least ten years). Quitting these things were slightly uncomfortable, but I didn't have any true dread about losing them. I didn't need a support system to give them up. Even things that I haven't given up that I love: pizza, cookies, yoga, etc. would make me very sad at the thought of never having them again, but there would be no real fear involved. When that really sunk in for me, I accepted that I was indeed addicted to alcohol and it had control over me. Getting that acceptance is the biggest hurdle. At almost 8 months of sobriety, (first sober time in my life since I was 15) I can tell you life has never been better, clearer, kinder, calmer. Give it a try!!

dSober

You clearly need to get your ass to a meeting pronto theo:

Alcoholics Anonymous : HOW TO FIND A.A. MEETINGS

Oh yeah, and keep coming back.

least

MIRecovery

Drinking destroyed every thing I loved but there is another path if you want it

Dee74

That's a pretty classic alcoholic response Theo.
I lost 2 relationships that way.

If you really care about the woman and this relationship, I think you need to have your actions reflect that...

this is pretty much a 'screw you, lady'.

D

sugarbear1

Can you live without drinking?

I couldn't. No matter how much time passed, I eventually drank again. Then it progressed from there.

Alcoholism is not being able to live without drinking to me.
Today, I don't have to drink, so I don't.

I wish you well!

pupkin

Hey theo, don't know if you'll be back, but I see myself so much in you I had to check in. Your response to your girl is one I understand completely. Is it childish, counterproductive, and self-destructive? Yeah, pretty much. Is it relationship-destructive? No idea--I don't know your girl or your relationship. But I do get it.

The most important questions to reflect on if you do look back on this thread (just my opinion) are: In this moment of serious tension in your relationship, where did you turn? When your girlfriend threatened your sense of yourself (or your freedom, or your individuality, or however you think of it), where did you turn?

Sounds like you turned to the booze. Which is what I would have done. But the answer to those questions is probably the answer to the bigger question you've been asking yourself.

Still time. Would be really smart to start really looking at the clock, though.

Again my opinion. Peace and good luck to you, Theo. Hope you come back.

Chicagoan

Eventually it will progress to the
point where you will be drinking
every day.

dSober

Pretty simple really... The sooner you kill this monster, the less of your life it will eat.

Don't believe it? You will.

coraltint

I didn't want to stop for a long time with people (girls, employers, family) telling me I should. After enough negative consequences piled up to where I did want to stop, I couldn't. That's when I got scared enough to take some suggestions from sober people.

I hope you don't need to get too far down, booze will beat you as often as you let it.

Keep coming back here, it helps whether you're convinced or not...Good Luck!

Theo77

Sorry to bounce but I'm crawling back...

I didn't sleep at all. I don't remember the last time I was awake this early, that's the blessing/curse of Nevada; access to alcohol 24/7.

I've read and reread everything you've all written, spoken to my girlfriend, done 100 million "Am I an Alcoholic" tests online. Eventually it clicked.

Anyway, I'm a bit embarrassed to post this because I was raised in one of those "Men Don't Discuss Feelings" households. But I've had so much embarrassment in this lifetime that I'm hoping it'll tick over to 0 at some point.

So I don't know what any of this has to do with why I'm here, but I've never really processed it with a semblance of clarity so it's very much me talking to myself.

I was brought up in an observant Jewish household, not orthodox, but conservative nonetheless. There is no history of alcoholism in my family (that I know of), so I feel even more like an outlier.

My girlfriend (who I've been with for 7 years and am deeply in love with), is black. My parents aren't overtly racist, but they're not down with it either. I don't know if that's because she's black or because she's not Jewish. Either way, I've been slowly ostracised for a few years now. As is, the last time I spoke to my parents would have been September 2013.

But it goes both ways. My girlfriend's mom and dad straight up hate me. I've heard her on the phone to them numerous times. Her phone ****** up the other week so she had to take calls on loudspeaker, and I heard her mom call me a "hot mess" and a "pathetic excuse". So bit of tension with the nearly-in-laws.

But more relevant, I suppose, she's agreed that if I go to an inpatient facility, she'll stay. I've been reading the family and friend's of alcoholics forum, and I want to say I've never abused her. But I don't know if that would be entirely honest. Of course I've never, would never, physically hurt her. But I've had more tantrums than a Montessori child and I've thrown things/punched walls. So I'm currently wallowing in self-loathing, which is fun.

Anyway, that's really all I had on my chest. If anyone reads this, cool (mortified). If no one reads this, better.

powderline

I can tell you from my personal experience that the train keeps picking up speed. I assure you. 65 drinks a week is quite a lot, and if you're getting blackout drunk every second day, that's not good for your health or your relationships.

As someone that is struggling to quit, I can share that once you go over the cliff, it gets real ugly. I'm sure other folks here will attest to the same. Think: dry heaves in morning, shakes so bad you can't put a contact lens in, and then a cocktail to make it all go away. Luckily I've never had a DUI or gone broke, but it has most definitely affected some of the most important relationships in my life. Recently, I have been going through the process of admitting my failure to those people and how my drinking/drugging affected our relationships negatively.

I was always a problem/heavy drinker. But eventually that time for "just one" kept creeping up.

Best wishes on your decision.

powderline

There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Everyone in the world has problems -- they're just different. In fact, you should be proud of the fact that it has "clicked" for you. Strength is something to value greatly. Good luck with your trip. It'll get better!